As the Stag finds the Doe
by bookworm520
Summary: Lily goes missing, can James find her and correct his mistakes in time?
1. A death in the family

She didn't fancy him. Honest. And Lily Marie Evans doesn't lie. Most of the time. It was just…that hair. It used to bother her that he would look "cool" by ruffling it up, but now it was kind of…..endearing. And his voice. Not so low that it was creepy, and so reassuring that she would probably jump off a bridge if he asked her to. He was just so…no. She was not going down that road. James Potter was just another stuck up marauder trying to prove that he was better than the rest of the world. Well his charm wouldn't work on her. No way. No siree. But that hair…. Nothing like the greasy hair of… crap. It was him. The other unmentionable man in Lily's life, and he was coming towards her with a look of pure determination etched across his depressing features. The long nose, the long hair, the lack of a smile, no doubt about it, it was Snape. A month ago Lily would have called him over, embracing him in her signature one arm hug and hex anyone who yelled at her for it. But after he called her that…word, that absolutely awful dreadful word, all he got from her were glares. Please don't notice me… please don't notice me. She wished, but it was hopeless. He was a man on a mission and she was unfortunate enough to be the target.

"Lily!"

He yelled, clearly out of breath. But she was not in the mood to talk. Nor would she ever be. No way.

"Go away Se...Snape" she'd almost slipped, she'd almost used his nickname. The nickname he no longer deserved. Her auburn hair whipped his face as she turned around.

"Please Lily, listen!"

But she wouldn't, why should she? She began walking. Then jogging. Then running. What did it take to shake him off?

"Dammit Lily LISTEN!"

His tone made her stop dead. He never used that tone with her…well except once. She turned around fast. He stopped abruptly, barely escaping slamming into her.

"Severus Tobias Snape I swear on Merlin's left earlobe if this isn't worth it I'll hex you so hard you won't remember which house you're in."

She fixed a glare on him. He staggered and reached to touch his own left earlobe. Lily didn't make empty threats.

"They're planning something Lily. Be careful" Snape said quickly, then he left, as suddenly as he had come, leaving Lily alone in the middle of the corridor, gaping. Well bloody hell what did that mean! That git couldn't even give her a hint? So Lily did what any sensible person would do, she ran. Straight to the common room, surely a large arm chair and a hot coa coa would help her mull the strange warning over. Just one more suit of armor to pass, she could see the fat lady, and Frank Longbottom's lips mouthing the password she was so close. But karma was out to get her.

"Hey Lils" Lily whirled around. Potter. Great. She rolled her eyes. She didn't notice that his were red and puffy; in fact he still had tears running down his cheeks. His voice sounded weird, but she was too distracted to even care. Holding up her hand to his face she said

"Honestly Potter I only need to get to the common room, I am not in the mood for this." James looked awe struck. No, he looked angry.

"Really Evans?"

I thought we were past all this damn crap!" he yelled, attracting quite a bit of attention in the process. "Apparently NOT" he stormed into the Fat Lady without another word. Lily stood there looking remarkably like a fish, in pure horror.

"What?" she whispered. She stared at the ground. Marble. How pretty, how freaking pretty. She heard footsteps.

"Lily! Where did he go?" Remus, looking flushed and out of breath, wheezing heavily. He to, had eyes that were red and puffy. This time she noticed.

"Remus what's going on? What happened?" Lily was near tears "I snapped at James and he blew up! I always snap at James!"

Remus stared at her with wide eyes. Peter could now be heard, he was rather large so it took him longer to catch up.

"Where…..is….he…Moony….we …need…..to find…him!"

Peter managed to choke out between gasps. Remus rolled his eyes.

"Thanks Wormtail for stating the OBVIOUS!" Peter's eyes flashed but he fell silent. Remus was the calm one, something was seriously wrong. He turned back to Lily.

"Lily, James just got a letter…his parents are dead." Now tears were leaking freely from his eyes.

Lily's mouth opened again.

"But, but, but… Voldemort?" she gasped in a whisper. James's parents are…were well known Aurors. Remus shook his head and laughed scathingly.

"Well that's what's so damn ironic. They weren't killed by HIM. They were killed by dragon pox, of all things!"

He looked ready to crack. Lily felt something on her ankle. She figured it was just Peter's breath (as he was now doubled over).

"Oh I have to talk to him!" she cried. In tears she buried her head in her hands.

"Yes you do. I think he needs you."

Lily flipped her head up from her hands.

"Okay."

Lily entered the common room with a look of such determination that absolutely no one stood in her way. She stopped at the foot of the steps. Go…not go…go…not go. Her mind was racing. GO. She sprinted up the steps before she could change her mind. She didn't have to wonder which room was the Mauraders. The third door down was adorned with a large sign that read

MAURADERS RESIDNECE ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK

(PADFOOT ENCOURAGES THIS AS HE IS OFTEN BORED)

(MOONY DISCOURAGES THIS AS HE CANNOT ALWAYS CONTROL HIS FRIENDS)

(WORMTAIL REALLY DOESN'T CARE, HE JUST WANTS FOOD)

(PRONGS JUST WANTS LILY TO GO OUT WITH HIM)

"bloody gits" Lily muttered before pushing open the door with a huff. The sight before her was shocking. As she had suspected Sirius's bed was unmade and his things were thrown everywhere, James's was only slightly better, Peter's was covered in food, and Remus' was neat down to the last book. That wasn't what shocked her. What shocked her was Sirius. He was crying. Real tears. Lily's maternal instincs took over.

"Oh Sirius" she whispered. Slowly, she walked towards his bed. In his hands was a picture. His grip was getting tighter by the moment. Lily wrapped her arms around his torso. He didn't complain. They stayed like that for a while.

"Dragon Pox" Sirius cried. "EFFING DRAGON POX" he threw Lily of the bed by getting up in a huff and throwing the picture down. As it fell, Lily caught a glimpse. Two elderly people were laughing arm in arm one hand on each of the two boys beside them.

"Well, threes not much to tell you but life sucks." Lily shrugged. Sirius looked at her, shocked.

"Hey, I'm just being honest. Being muggleborn I always put every protection over my parents possible" Lily sighed, crying with him. Sirius looked nonplused.

"Well a little while ago I got a letter saying my parents had been in a car accident on their way home from the supermarket." Sirius looked shocked.

"Voldemort?" he asked.

"Nope" she said wiping her eyes and looking up into space. "Broken brake on a SUV. Didn't stop Petunia from blaming on me though, you know being the freak that I am, I should've saved them or done magic on the car, or some other solution." Sirius was taken aback. "For a while my mantra was life sucks and then you die. And to be honest sometimes that's exactly what I wanted to do, die. But then you and the Maurauders pulled that prank with the sparkles and fireworks, and seeing everybody so happy I made up a new mantra. Yeah, life's unfair and it sucks but dying doesn't solve anything. There are things a lot worse than death. Oh and seeing as I have friends who are willing to wear sparkles on their cloaks all day, and make me laugh when I feel like puking, life can't be all bad" Sirius just stared, at a loss for words. " So basically Sirius, what I'm saying is, sure today sucks and tomorrow and the next day probably will too, but keep living. If not for yourself than for them, if James is anything like them they'd tell you to get off your bloody arse and pull a prank. And that's exactly what you're going to do if I have to perform the magic myself." She squeezed his hand. "Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go repeat that whole spiel to James. I suspect that a certain cloak was involved in his escape. She got up, kissed Sirius's forehead and exited the room, but not before hearing something that sounded suspiciously like "Thanks Lils."


	2. Down by the Quiddtich Pitch

She heard him before she saw him. Then again the flyer-less broom was a dead give-away. She hadn't even bothered checking the Head's dorm. No way would James go there in his present state. Lily knew just where'd he be, the quidditch pitch. She could here his sobs before she even passed the green houses.

"DAMMIT!" she heard. Lily started running.

"DAMMIT!" she heard again. She ran faster. Of course, Lily was fit but she didn't play a sport so running at this speed didn't really suit her.

"James…James" she gasped clutching the stitch in her side. James was in the middle of the pitch, holding the broken glass that she could only assume was the remains of his glasses.

"JAMES!" she yelled. He looked up, but didn't say anything. The glass was just like his life, broken into itty bitty pieces. All he could do was stare, wondering the obvious question, why him? Lily was nearly too him now.

"James" she said again, this time in a whisper. "James let me see your hand" Lily said softly, sitting slowly on the grass next to his sprawled form.

"I was doing a feint and…" he couldn't bear to finish. He held up his hands in explanation. Lily gasped. They were covered in blood. Certainly it couldn't all be the cut from his glasses. Her eyes combed the rest of his body. She found what she was looking for in a gash on his head. "James lean forward" his body was numb, but it leaned towards her. Lily did the simple healing spells for his hands and head.

"reparo" she said after finishing the healing. The glass shards in hands flew together to make a pair of round glasses. Lily gently nudged them onto James' face.

"James…" she started but he beat her to the punch.

"thanks Lily" he said turning away. He jumped onto the broom still in his hand and flew away.

"Well bloody hell." she muttered. I guess I'll just leave him to it. She turned to walk away but stopped. Lily remembered how it felt to lose her parents. Maybe if someone had told her that they understood, that they'd been there too and it hadn't been a black hole of depression forever she would have felt better sooner. She had to give that to James. Before she could change her mind, she turned around and bellowed

"JAMES COME DOWN!" in her classic "Evans" voice. His dark figure slowed. The sun was going down quickly and she could barely see him.

"James!" she yelled out again. A black figure was coming towards her now. The sight took her breath away. His hair and robes flying behind him, eyes hard and watering mouth in a stiff line, his look was murderous. How dare she intrude on his self pity session?

"James" she whispered in awe. He huffed, was this all she wanted to say?

"Lily no matter how many times you say "James" it won't change the fact that you have no idea how I feel and never will. Your sheltered life must keep this from you so please stop trying to be my savior because your doing a shotty job at it." Her eyes widened. He spun around and flew away, into the night.

"wanna bet?" she whispered before turning towards the forest and dashing away.

"Where is he?" Peter asked Sirius. After Lily had talked to him, he'd put on a brave face and joined the other two Marauders.

"The only place he would be Wormtail" Remus said.

"The qudditch pitch" Sirius finished. They were walking on the grounds now, searching for a heartbroken James. They were almost to a pitch when they heard a voice scream

"JAMES POTTER!". They shared a glance.

"Lily" they said in unison. Remus and Peter started to walk again but Sirius held them back.

"Wait, I think she's got this one" he said staring at the familiar red head and the shadow she was talking to. Such a serious statement hardly came from Sirius, and it shocked the others into stopping.

"Are you sure Padfoot?" Remus asked.

"Positive Mooney that one has it covered." Sirius sighed, now looking at his shoes. Remus stared at his friend. Lily must have told him her story. Remus only knew the bare details that he'd overheard Professors Slughorn and Sprout talking about. Footsteps broke him out of his reverie. But they weren't coming towards them, they were going in the other direction, towards the forest. Auburn hair flew from behind the runner, clear in the moonlight. The Marauders shared another glance. Lily didn't run from fights unless she was extremely hurt. They were each thinking the same thing: Prongs did something stupid. Well, two of them did. Peter was thinking about pumpkin pasties. Remus and Sirius broke into a sprint. Slow on the uptake, Peter waddled behind them.

"James!" Sirius yelled, he had reached the pitch first, being the most athletic (and he hadn't stopped to help Peter catch up like Remus had). But James hadn't come down.

" PRONGS GET YOUR RUDDY ARSE DOWN HERE" He yelled. That grabbed James' attention. He flew towards them just as a annoyed Remus and winded Peter arrived next to Sirius.

"Sorry we took so long _someone _tripped over a root" Remus said, glaring at Peter.

"It _was _a very large root!" Peter protested. James was hovering in front of them now.

"James what did you say to Lily?" Remus said gently. James' head snapped up.

"How do you know she came to talk to me?" he sniped.

"We had the same idea" Sirius said. "Now what did you say to make her run off like that?" he said in the most no-nonsense tone he'd ever used. James rolled his red eyes.

"I told her that she'd been sheltered and she'd never understand how I felt" he said coldly. Remus gasped. Sirius looked like he'd been slapped. Peter was thinking about pasties again.

"Please Merlin tell me your joking!" Remus yelled in horror. James' features were hard, unforgiving, and unrelenting.

"So what if I did?" he yelled back. Sirius looked him straight in the eye, walked up and slapped him across the face.

"You'd be getting a lot more than that if we weren't in our current position." He clipped before turning around and stalking away, Peter at his heels. James looked confused.

"What did I do that was so wrong? I only told her the truth!" Remus shook his head.

"James last week, Lily was where you are now. " James looked even more confused at this. "James her parents died in a car wreck last week." James' mouth dropped. " And you basically just told her it didn't matter." Remus sighed, James gasped.

"But I…I didn't…But…" he spluttered. Remus rolled his eyes.

"James what you said was cruel, and I'd slap you too if you were in your right mind" Remus said, before he too turned to walk away.

"But what do I do now?" James called after him.

"You wait until she comes back an apologize" he said and continued on his way to the castle. He left James in the dark, with his broom, looking utterly lost.


	3. Telling Dumbledore

Lily was running but she didn't know where. Tears were streaming down her face, James' voice playing in her head over and over again.

"_Lily no matter how many times you say "James" it won't change the fact that you have no idea how I feel and never will. Your sheltered life must keep this from you so please stop trying to be my savior because you're doing a shotty job at it."_

The words were heavy on her heart. Is that what James thought. That she was just naive that she thought a good hug would fix everything? She'd seen so much more than he apparently thought. She remembered the letter, the funeral, Petunia. She remembered every single detail and now mingled with James' accusations the thoughts were like knives in her stomach. Being muggleborn meant she was a target. Being muggleborn meant she was tough, but according to James she was sheltered. She'd never been hurt or shocked before. Yeah because losing your best friend to a nasty prejudice, losing your sister to jealousy, and losing your parents to faulty brakes definitely wasn't enough pain, oh no of course not. Lily didn't know how long she'd been running; just that It had been a long time. Her legs finally gave out and she collapsed in a heap next to a large oak tree. She didn't know where she was, not on any beaten path that was for sure. Now she was hyperventilating. Gasping for air, Lily's mind raced. She felt woozy; maybe she was infested with nargles, that's what Xenophilius Lovegood would say. Lily chuckled sardonically. A wound of hers had been brutally ripped open and salt had been rubbed in it. What a great mate she had. _But__he__was__in__pain_ said one voice in her head **that****'****s****no****excuse****for****this!**Said another. Her mind couldn't decide. All she knew that she was in pain. Her head collapsed into her arms. What was she going to do? _This__was__irrational_ she thought. How was she going to get back? **Do****you****want****to****go****back?**The other voice asked. Now it was just ticking her off. Wait, didn't that mean she was ticking herself off? Oh great now I'm losing my mind. Lily sobbed harder. She began to fall asleep, or was she passing out? She was too distraught to tell. The last thing she heard before blacking out was an unrecognizable voice

"My, my what have we here? Has the little mudblood strayed from the path?"

Lily still hadn't shown up and was nearly the end of dinner. James was worried. _I__am__the__biggest__git__on__the__planet!_ He though angrily. He ran his hand through his hair. Again. He thought about how Lily always complained about that, but he knew she secretly loved it. He may never hear her complain again. _NO!_ He couldn't think like that. He glanced nervously at the door again. He noticed that Alice was too. They shared a glance, but her end quickly turned into a glare. She looked back at her food. Remus was worried. Sirius was worried. Even Peter had stopped thinking about food long enough to be worried. What had he done! His head dropped to his hand and he groaned in frustration. Remus looked at him. James could see sympathy laced with anger in his chocolate brown eyes. He quickly looked away. Remus stood up, as did Sirius, with Peter naturally following them. James stood up too in a rush, and ran to catch up with then.  
>"Sirius, Remus, Peter!" he yelled. They didn't stop or acknowledge him in any way. Or rather Remus and Sirius didn't. Peter had slowed down until he realized the other two hadn't, cast a fearful look in James' direction and then hurried to catch back up with the other two.<p>

"Guys wait!" James called again. This time they stopped. Sirius rounded on him

"What do you want, I still have half a mind to come at you with a jinx mind you" he said in a low, murderous voice. Remus just stared at him with a mix of pity and disgust.

"I didn't know!" James huffed. "I'm in pain I just lost my parents for Merlin's sakes!" Sirius opened his mouth but a lethal looking Remus beat him to it.

"So did Lily James!" he snapped. "And yet she still went down to see you and retell the horror she's been living this past week. Are you telling me that she didn't feel what you're feeling? Remus challenged. James was taken aback. Remus was always the cool headed one. He'd really screwed up this time.

"Look _mate_" Sirius said sarcastically, interrupting a furious Remus "Lily is our sister the same way you're our brother hurt her and you hurt us all and man you seriously hurt her." Sirius's expression was clouded. James opened his mouth to defend himself, but Sirius held up a hand.

"Don't say she overreacted, don't say you didn't know, don't say it wasn't your fault. Those excuses are crap and you know it. Now if you'll excuse us, Remus and I are going to go tell the headmaster why the ever- punctual head girl is missing this evening." And with that James' best friends turned and stalked away, a squeaking Peter in tow. James looked around. This was the first time he'd realized they weren't going back to the common room. He was no standing in front of two gargoyles.

"Jelly Bellies" he said hurriedly, knowing the password was just one of the many perks of being head boy. He stormed into Dumbledore's office with gusto and yelled

"It was my fault!" Dumbledore X-rayed him with his bright blue eyes before conjuring up another arm chair next to Remus'

"Mr. Potter how nice of you to join us, I was just hearing how Miss Evans took off into the woods apparently distraught this evening. And according to these boys, for no known reason, any ideas Mr. Potter?" James looked at his friends who were each looking at their feet, except for Peter who was once again, day dreaming about food. They could be mad, but they'd never rat him out. He gulped.

"Well I kind of insulted her" he said quickly, "Accidently of course!" he added when Dumbledore's eyebrow rose.

"Ah, I see" he said. "Can you point me in the direction she ran?" James nodded.

"Good, you boys go back to your common room and I'm sure Miss Evans will either show up, or we shall go after her in the morning." James' head snapped up.

"But what if she's in danger tonight? He screamed.

"You must understand Mr. Potter that I cannot search the woods for Miss Evans until the light is back in case of danger, and besides don't you find it much more likely that she will come back safe and sound on her very own?" Usually Dumbledore's tangible logic impressed James; tonight it just pissed him off.

"Are you not even worried about her?" he screeched with Sirius and Remus nodding in turn. (Peter too when he realized what was going on in the non-food related reality)

"Of course I am Mr. Potter, but I am afraid, that this is the way it must be. I ask that you and your friends head in for the night, and I will cast a spell to keep Miss Evans from leaving the premises unless she most direly has too. Goodnight." James could tell he was being shown the door. Dumbledore's eyes were unyielding.

"Goodnight sir, I sincerely hope that Lily isn't hurt or in need of help." He snipped, before opening the door and leaving. Sirius and Remus stared at each other.

"Goodnight Professor" Remus said then tugged Sirius and Peter out of the office and towards the spiral staircase. Dumbledore sighed.

"Albus, we both know that girl is not coming back without assistance" Professor McGonagall said, stepping out from her hiding place behind the pensieve.

"I know Minerva, but those boys would have undoubtedly gone after her tonight had I told them we were. Now come, we must find that girl."


	4. Antagonization

The sun rose, and Lily still wasn't back.

McGonagall and Dumbledore couldn't be found.

The Marauders hadn't slept.

Breakfast was a somber affair. With two head figures missing and the head boy freaking out, as a whole Hogwarts was abuzz. Was Lily pregnant? No, not the perfect head girl. Were McGonagall and Dumbledore gone…_together. _Hell no, that was as ridiculous as Babity Rabbity. What was going on?

James looked like he had a bad hangover. His hair was messier than usual, his eyes red and swollen. Sirius looked like he came off the loser in a bar fight, but Hogwarts had grown accustomed to his raggedy morning appearance but today it was…different. Instead of the mischievous look he usually had, his face was stony. He wasn't cracking jokes or yelling at all. Remus looked like he'd just had a full moon…but Hogwarts didn't know about…_that._ None of them were talking. That was unusual by itself, but with the glances they were sharing something was clearly up.

"They're gone. They went to go find her I know it" James whispered to Sirius, a frantic look in his eye. He was looking for any excuse to go find Lily.

"We should go look for her!" Sirius said, a little too loudly pushing his plate away in frustration and standing up. .. a group of second year girls glanced over and gave him an odd look. Remus pushed him back down and gave the girls a reassuring smile.

"Mates, if the two most talented teachers at Hogwarts can't find her, what hope do we have? We have to wait be patient" he hissed glancing around warily at the stares and whispers they were getting.

"We have the Marauders Map! Besides, I won't sit here and wait for her to get hurt." He glared off into the distance then put his head down. "It's my bloody fault she's out there anyways." He whispered.

"James!" Remus hissed. "You're attracting all of Hogwarts here; let's go talk about this…elsewhere." He said, getting up. Sirius and James followed him out of the Great Hall and into the seventh floor corridor. He stopped at a portrait of Barnabas and Barmy. _I need to find Lily Evans, I need to find Lily Evans, I need to find Lily Evans. _ He thought, walking back and forth three times. A large door appeared, and he pulled it open, walked through, and was promptly followed by the others. Inside was a large room filled with maps and books on Hogwarts' Forbidden Forest.

"Now James, you may yell about the situation to your heart's content" Remus said, sitting on a couch and crossing legs.

Lily woke up tied to a tree. A large circle was encompassed around her, people in long black cloaks and hooded masks were talking.

"Well this is bloody brilliant" she said. All thirteen heads turned to look at her. And what a sight she was. Her red hair was wild stuck on branches, and filled with leaves. Her entire body was dirty but her clothes were filthy .Face smeared with blood, Lily stared defiantly at the hooded figure in front of her.

"You know, you guys should really try to get new uniforms. Those are just so…morbid. Besides I hear Gryffindor Maroon is the new Death Eater black."

"Shut up you filthy mudblood" said a high voice to her right. Lily turned her head.

"And who do I have the pleasure of insulting?" she asked determined not to let her bloody nose hinder her. The figure screamed and took off her hood. Untamed black curly hair flew from underneath. Harsh Black eyes and a sadistic smile were revealed.

"HAHA what the Dark Lord is going to do to you little Mudblood!" She laughed gleefully. "Maybe he'll give me the first crack!" she laughed insanely.

"Ahh, Bellatrix, sadistic as ever I see. You should really try to get that under control, someone might institutionalize you" Bellatrix screamed. She rushed towards Lily and began to choke her.

"BELLATRIX, leave her, she is of need to the Dark Lord." A man with black hair held his hand up in warning.

"Oh but Dolphie! I really want this one!" Bellatrix whined. Lily chocked on her own laughter.

"Dolphie? Wow, I'm impressed not even James Potter could get cocky off of that one. That must really reassure your manhood." Now Rodolphus looked like he'd been slapped. He ground then clenched his teeth.

"You'll be quiet or I might just let my dear wife have you." He threatened. Lily laughed.

"You know, you two are perfect for each other .Desperate and depressing, a match made in heaven er…Hell" The Lestranges were done. Together, they rushed her, eyes flashing, wands forgotten, hands grabbing.

"RODOLPHUS, BELLATRIX, STOP!" called a voice. This time Lily knew the owner, even before she saw the big nose and greasy hair. Her eyes widened. He'd really done it. Severus Snape was a Death Eater. Lily snapped out of it. No, he was just another Death Eater.

"And now folks, we see the native Greasy Git, in his natural habitat along with his tribe don't disturb him, he may call you names, or worse show his underwear." Lily said cheekily.

"Hello Mudblood." Snape said, black eyes boring into emerald ones there was something in his eyes, something she couldn't define.

"Hello Snivellus." Snape's eyes flashed. "Oh, does that bother you? Well you see _Snivellus _if you're going to call me rude and demeaning names, I'm going to do it right back." She said, with a radiant smile.

"You know this really isn't the way to treat a party guest. Assuming this is a party. Yes it must be, with all the cheery people here! By the way where was my invitation? I think jumping people is a little…tacky if you know what I mean" Now all of the Death Eaters were furious. One by one they took of their masks.

"Wow, cool trick. Wait was it supposed to be intimidating? Hmmm. I think you'd be better off with a group dance number." Lily said thoughtfully. "Or synchronized charm work!"

"YOU WILL LISTEN TO US MUDBLOOD!" Lucius screamed.

"Oh by Merlin's swimming trunks! Is that Lucius?" Lily said squinting "You did bring Narcissa, right? I do love husband, wife serial killers!" Two more Death Eaters looked ready to draw blood.

"You know for a party, this is really morbid. Maybe streamers, colors, maybe even party favors! Oh and the skull theme? SO last year!" Lily was receiving glares from all directions.

"SHUT UP MUDBLOOD" said a voice directly behind her.

"Is that, no it couldn't be, Dolohov? Merlin it's been a while, how's the killing thing going? Great career choice by the way, but someone should really inform you, that the best way to get someone to listen to you is _not_ by tying them to a tree."

"THAT IS ENOUGH!" Bellatrix screamed.

"CRUCIO"

Lily's screams pierced the morning air.


	5. Blabbing at Breakfast

"Last Monday, one of our own went missing. She was last seen entering the Forbidden Forest. If you have any information please come forth to one of your professors. We will continue to look for Lily Evans, but meanwhile, please do not panic. Surely, we will find her shortly. Take this as a warning never to enter the forest without express permission and supervision." Dumbledore announced. James' eyes grew wide. The Great Hall erupted into loud chatter. Nobody was paying any attention to the food that had just appeared on their plates. Lily Evans was officially missing. James' eyes widened. His voice broke through the murmurs.

"WHAT!" he screamed, standing up. Remus pushed him down by his shoulders.

"Mate stop…this isn't going to help" he whispered quietly. James' face swelled with rage.

"Mr. Potter" Professor McGonagall said standing up. "Please exit the Great Hall. Go to my office. _Now._" She said. James slammed his hands on the table and stomped towards the large doors. He turned back with an annoyed expression on his face.

"Are you coming?" He said to the other Marauders. They each looked pleadingly at McGonagall. She rolled her eyes

"Fine, you can all go" she said with a huff, and she too left the room.

"Come on guys" Sirius said jumping from the table and sprinting towards James. Remus was slower to join them, as he had to wait for Peter to untangle himself from the bench. The group practically ran down the corridors to Professor McGonagall's office. She was already there when they arrived.

"Apparently we aren't the only ones with shortcuts" Remus muttered under his breath. McGonagall gestured towards four chairs. She held out a tray.

"Would you like a biscuit?" she asked the boys. Only Peter took one.

"You know what; I _would_ like you to get to the point!" James seethed. Sirius put hand on his shoulder.

"Well yes, I guess I should inform you of our…progress or lack thereof" The professor said, brushing nonexistent lint off her robes.

"We failed to find Miss Evans" McGonagall sighed. Sirius through his hands up in the air, Remus rolled his eyes, and Peter took another biscuit. But James just stared. Stared and then spoke.

"Really, I couldn't tell!" He screamed losing the little control he'd had left. He jumped out of his seat and started pacing around the confined office.

"Mr. Potter, SIT DOWN." Professor McGonagall said forcefully, lacing her fingers together. Her eyes glittered dangerously. He sat, but his hands fidgeted. He made glances out the windows on either sides of the room as though waiting for Lily to pop out of one, once he even hesitated at the fire, hoping she'd floo out of it.

"As I was saying" McGonagall said, catching James' attention. "We did not find Miss Evans, though we searched the forest quite thoroughly." She removed her glasses and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "We searched everywhere…we even had the centaurs looking. They were quite fond of her, apparently she likes to study by moonlight" She said fondly, replacing her glasses. Clearly she was remembering the head girl.

"Are you saying that we have no idea where she is? Were back to square one?" Remus asked rubbing his forehead and sighing, looking more ragged than ever.

"Well, to an extent" she said evasively

"To _what_extent" Sirius said eyes flashing.

"Well, the headmaster and I have come up with a few possible theories" She looked reluctant to continue.

"Would you like to elaborate?" James said through gritted teeth. Professor McGonagall looked uncomfortable and exhausted.

"Well the area she could be in a part of the forest that is so dense that only dark magic could penetrate it" she began but her eyes told the boys that much worse things were in store.

"Well, Dumbledore could figure that one out, right?" Remus asked. McGonagall sighed.

"It would take time, but yes Mr. Lupin he could." She jumped slightly as James pounded his fist against the desk.

"She doesn't _have_ time" he said quietly. But the whisper was deadly and McGonagall looked as though she had been smacked.

"Do not tell me what I already know Mr. Potter" She said, raising a hand to stop his retort "The problem is that there are other options, would you like to hear them or shall we wait for you to get a hold of your temper?" James shrunk back into his chair reluctantly.

"She could also be…somehow off the grounds. But that is almost impossible as the grounds are very well protected but we do not exclude anything in this situation." Now it was Sirius' turn to lose control.

"Are you telling me" he seethed pointing at the window "That she could be anywhere out there?"

"I said it was highly unlikely now sit down or you'll miss the last option. Sirius sat slowly, and all of the boys leaned in subconsciously.

"She could be in an area that has been made unplottable…" she began again but was once again interrupted by a Marauder, this time it was Remus.

"Wouldn't that make her impossible to find?" he asked eyes widening. The other boys gasped. Peter shoved another biscuit in his mouth. McGonagall huffed.

"If you would let me finish! An unplottable area can be plotted if the person plotting has an extremely high knowledge of the surrounding area. However the forest is so unknown that it would be very difficult to do this."

"Hagrid! Could Hagrid do it?" Sirius asked holding his breath. McGonagall removed her glasses again.

"Hagrid is simply not capable. The process involves serious blockage breaking and spell casting as well as mental power. Dumbledore could compile memories and do it himself but that too would take time and Ministry approval and…" She cut off, and put on her glasses as a tear leaked out of her eye.

"By then they will have declared her dead" James said quietly, but he might as well have shouted, the expressions were the same. All had tears in their eyes. Sirius had jumped up again. Remus was slumped back in his chair, rubbing his eyes of weariness, and James had his head on the table.

"They cannot do that!" Sirius screeched. No one even tried to contain him.

"Unfortunately they can" McGonagall said, though she too seemed equally outraged.

"Dumbledore had to do something!" Sirius screeched again, now in a full blown rant. "He won't stand for this…he can't!" The professor rolled her tear filled eyes.

"Of course not but if you blithering idiots keep screeching about it in the Great Hall! How in name of Merlin's bifocals do you expect him to keep this from this the Ministry? Half their workers children here are hearing you blathering you big mouths in the biggest area in this castle!" By now professor McGonagall was standing up and her face was beet red. The Marauders were gobsmacked. Whoops.

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO HURT THE MUDBLOOD!" A snake like voice screamed. Lily knew that voice, it haunted her in her sleep, but she wasn't about to show him that. That would only give him more power over her. Voldemort was here, she could feel his presence. She spat the blood out of her mouth.

"Finally, somebody I can complain too. Are you the manager? This service is NOT satisfactory!" Lily said. The voice laughed. The chills it sent down her spine were indescribable. A pale thin hand appeared out of nowhere and stroked her face. The feeling was slimy and cold and despite her efforts, Lily trembled. The hand stroked the newly sliced cuts on her cheeks. She could feel the slit like eyes raking her body, taking inventory of her various bruises and cuts.

"I don't believe you are in any position to make jokes Mudblood, I told them not to hurt you but they disobeyed me once" the hand twisted a lock of her hair, and Lily savagely big at the finger curling around her mangy locks.

"tsk tsk that move will cost you mudblood!" the voice cackled.

"CRUCIO"

Absolute pain filled Lily's body. He muscles were ripping, her bones cracking. Her eyes were popping and her throat was being stabbed. She wished she could say she'd never felt this pain. But she had. This is how she'd felt for the past ten minutes. Endless torture that was how she felt. But not even that fully described it.

"STOP" Voldemort barked. "I said punish not kill" his snakelike grip grasped her attacker by the neck. She couldn't see his face through her swollen eyelids.

"Sorry my Lord, I was too exuberant to please you" the Death Eater chocked out. Lily snorted, drawing Voldemort's eye

"Nice save Yaxley, those skills will come in handy if any girl ever has the misfortune of marrying you" Voldemort dropped Yaxley's neck and cupped Lily's face- none too gently.

"I like this one. It has spunk, mind it if it gets too much we may just have to sort it out" he squeezed her face. Lily rolled her eyes.

"It has a name. Though on second thought I'd actually rather not have my name tainted by your lips" she said feigning thoughtfulness. Voldemort bared his teeth.

"Why do we need her Lord?" A worshiping voice asked tentatively, afraid to offend its master. Voldemort looked around at the other Death Eaters

"Because Bellatrix, you people aren't an army and I need more followers. This thing can lead me to four… followers that I would like to acquire" Lily's eyes widened.

"The Marauders" she gasped. Voldemort raised his eyebrows.

"Precisely" he said. "Come Nagini" he hissed in a language that Lily could only assume was parsletounge. Voldemort left. The Death Eaters surrounding Lily shared glances, unsure what to do now that their master had left. Again, Lily rolled her eyes.

"You know you should really get a game plan for these awkward moments" she said. "This is getting ridiculous, somebody does _something_!" she said in fake exasperation. It seemed to spark the Death Eaters into action. Three started to raise a tent and another began a fire. Two were posted in front of her tree, two behind it.

"You know guys, as much of a tree hugger I am, could you please place me somewhere else" she asked the group, but the question was mostly directed at Severus. She stared him down for a few more moments, black against green. Green won.

"Move her to the tent" he said to the two guarding the front of her tree. The guards looked at him curiously. Clearly they were used to him issuing orders, but this one was a little…strange. They never listened to the pleas of their prisoners.

"I said move her!" Snape screamed "Tie her to a tent post or something!" he yelled before turning away and stalking off. The guards shook their heads. Sure they'd move her but to somewhere more comfortable? Of course not.

"Give me your hand" One said gruffly before seizing it himself.

"If you weren't so grabby, maybe I'd have given it to you in the first place" she muttered. The guards cut the chains surrounding her hands and swung it around the limb of a tree. They boxed her in, so she couldn't even attempt an escape.

"Now I have to _hang,_come on, you know I hate hanging from foliage!" Lily cried. "Worst party ever!" The guards turned around after locking in her chains. Her arms were already going numb.

"Bloody brilliant this is" she muttered. "Goodnight all!" she yelled before "sleeping".

Severus looked at a silver doe prancing amongst the trees.

"Goodnight Lily" he whispered.


	6. What are You Playing at?

**AN: Hey guys! Yeah I know I suck at updating…sorry! From now on there will be one update every Sunday, unless a divine force intervenes. I promise!**

The dream was better than the reality. Not that it was a tough fight to win. Lily had long since given up the fight and succumbed to sleep. She was far from comfortable, in fact this was probably the worst position anyone has ever been in. Her arms had gone numb ours ago, and surely they'd been ripped from their sockets. Her wrists were bruised and she was limp from hunger. Her eyes had dark circles under them and her hair was a ragged mess. To be honest, she was exhausted. She was dirty. And she was ready to give in. But Lily Marie Evans gave in about as much as she lied. Even in her sleeping state, her brain was thinking of a plan. She couldn't undo the chains of that much she was certain. They were magicked to burn her if she even tried. They'd have to move her eventually. They'd have to feed her if they wanted her to be a bargaining chip to the Marauders. It didn't upset Lily that she was bait. She knew that considering the closeness of their group now, and Sirius' unwavering loyalty the Marauders would do anything for her. _That's _what upset her, the fact that they would give themselves up. Without a fight. Escape was hopeless; her only option was to save her friends. But how? It's not like she had a handy piece of paper and a quill all ready for an owl to take away. Lily was smart, but she just couldn't think of a single way to get out of her current…situation. Then it hit her. _I wonder what Voldemort would do if he found out I was hurt?_ She thought. _Well only one way to find out. _Lily hastily woke herself up, the idea still planted in her mind.

"Water" she choked out. Her voice surprised her. Usually so determined, now it was raspy and weak. The two guards in front of her continued to stoically stare straight. The two in the back followed suit. Lily caught a quick glance from one of them. The look in his eyes was…interesting. Was it anger, triumph? No, it was pity. _Hook, Line, and Sinker…that's what you get for joining Voldemort_ Lily thought, resorting to the fishing terms her father had taught her the day he'd taken her to Lake Durmieron.

"Hold it tight, and you'll catch it hook line and sinker" Chris Evans had told an eight year old Lily. That was before she was classified as a witch. When things were easy. Lily momentarily lost in the memory felt a tear run down her face. She shook her head and told herself to focus.

"Please…water" she begged, acting as if her tears were from thirst. Lily yanked here head up. Black eyes met her green ones. It was silent for a long time before they mouth that belonged to the eyes said

"Get her water" The Death Eaters glanced at Severus Snape with surprised expressions on their faces. _Perfect._ She thought.

"Bloody Hell I'm dying here! A dead bargaining chip starts fights not alliances!" she taunted. Severus glared at a Death Eater with pale blue eyes that couldn't be older than her.

"Avery" she breathed.

"Glad to know you're as crazy as you used to be" she sneered. Avery's head snapped back in a motion to…bite her? A year before Avery had been a part of group that had cornered Lily on the seventh floor and harassed her mercilessly until her knight in shining quiddich robes had saved her. _Oh James…Potter…oh screw it I'm near dead anyways. James please don't let them pull you in! _Lily thought. A crude wooden cup was shoved in her direction. Lily rolled her eyes.

"You know hands are generally used in the process of holding items, but come to think of it you probably drink like a dog." She said pure hatred radiating off her.

"Feed it to her" Dolohov suggested. Avery mimed puking.

"And risk touching a mudblood? Never." He said hand over mouth. Lily rolled her eyes again, but this time so did Snape.

"Just let her arms down. They have to be in bad shape by now. Do you think Potter and friends are going to join us if we yank off an arm of their beloved flower?" He said spitting the words "Potter" and "Beloved Flower" his tone suggested there was nothing he would rather do more than maim her.

"The Dark Lord said alive, he never said unharmed. Besides she might need a little bit of…persuasion to cooperate" Lucius Malfoy smiled sadistically.

"Blimey you idiots, I'm stuck to a tree pray tell what problems am I causing? Besides we both know Ja...Potter is going to kill you all barehanded if I'm maimed" she said loudly. "Stupid arrogance" she said quieter, as far as she could tell only Snape heard. His eyes had widened when she'd slipped on James' name.

"Alright, how about you handcuff me to a tree or better yet one of you, and then I _really _won't be able to get away. Lily wheedled _make them doubt themselves._ The voice in her head whispered. She knew it from somewhere, but she couldn't place it. The Death Eaters converged into a circle and mumbled quietly. Lily listened intently. She only caught a few words. "Mudblood" was mentioned often and "to the hand?" as well. At last they spread out again into their positions. They all looked at Snape. Clearly he was the leader of getting them out of the mess he'd brought them into.

"Because I was the one to suggest water which undoubtedly led to more cheek" he began grimacing "I will take on the task of being…tethered to you" Lily winced, of all people to be tied to Snape? Was some kind of divine force laughing right now? Was this karma for being daft enough to get caught in the first place? Lily was rattled, but that didn't stop her from delivering her usual snark.

"Well glad to know it handcuff buddy. Can we get a move on? Or I may not have arms to tether to you" she said blithely. Snape disregarded her careless tone and motioned to one of her guards to untie her. When the guard blundered he shook his head and said

"You blundering git! I'll do it myself!" Apparently these outbursts were common, as no one batted an eyelash and he proceeded to walk towards her. Tied to a slimy git. Jeez. As he undid the handcuffs with a key he'd tucked in his robes he leaned closer to Lily's face. Or rather her ear. She looked up surprised.

"You have to get out of here"

Saying that the Marauders felt stupid would be the understatement of the century. They'd nearly blown Lily's best chance at being found. They'd nearly gotten her declared _dead. _Each of them had their heads facing down in shame. They walked through the hallways. Not paying attention, James slammed straight into somebody. He looked down at the sprawled figure, as though surprised he was solid.

"Sorry Amos" he said quietly, still reeling from McGonagall's rant. The dark brown eyes of Amos Diggory glared up at him.

"Watch where you're going Potter" he growled, ignoring the hand James had offered him. He brushed off his robes and began to walk away, but not before turning around and saying

"Oh and great job getting Lily kidnapped. Way to go." James stared opened mouthed as Amos flounced away.

"How did that bloody git know?" he said angrily pushing his hair back, causing three girls to their left to giggle. Remus sighed.

"He probably didn't but now he does." All the boys stared at him.

"What?" Peter asked having missed the whole conversation due to the arrival of Susie Abbot. Remus sighed again.

"James, he was probably just guessing from the. Err…incident this morning that you had something to do with Lily's disappearance. He was probably just trying to annoy you. But the look on your face just confirmed. So now the whole school will know thanks to that dolt." Remus finished, body drooping.

"Actually the whole school already knows" a perky voice interrupted the groups mope fest. All four pairs of eyes looked for the owner. It was Heather Diggory. Amos' sister.

"Tulip Parkinson told everyone that you yelled at her and ran away." She said not taking her eyes off James.

"If you ask me she's just too embarrassed to come back, couldn't deal with Jamesie's rejection. Honestly. That little hypocrite she turns you down every six seconds. What a slut" she said running her fingers through James' hair. He slapped her hand away and grabbed her wrist.

"Never insult Lily again or I will curse you into oblivion" he said furiously. Heather's blue eyes widened and she started to cry.

"I can't believe Tulip was right! You do still like her. I hate you James!" she yelled and slapped him the face before running away to a gaggle of girls who immediately began to whisper about the new development.

"No offense James but what were you thinking!" Sirius said watching the girl run away. "She is such a little" Remus held a hand up to stop his next word.

"Sirius look at the color of her hair." He said staring at Heather.

"Oh." Sirius said quietly. Heather Diggory's hair was red. Not nearly as red as Lily's but either way it was clear why James had ever dated her. She looked like Lily. James sighed and stared at the portrait of the Fat Lady that they had just arrived at. A lot of people were walking by. Why was that? Of course. They'd made another huge scene in front of the entire school population. Class had ended a few minutes ago. The Marauders could now clearly see the large circle that had gathered around their little scene. As always, Sirius was first to make a move.

"OI! Get out of my way. Clearly I haven't done my hair yet and you really don't want to cross me until I've sufficiently gelled!" he yelled too many laughs. Only Sirius could turn a mass of shocked still students into a mass of moving, laughing teenagers.

"Now move along, move along" he said as Remus muttered the password and pushed James through. A rough hand pulled James back.

"What are you playing at?" Amos Diggory yelled. "Playing with my sister like that! I never realized she looks just like Lily! How dare you use her especially because she looks like my girlfriend!" he screamed in James' face and attempted to punch him. All of the Marauders jumped into action but James beat them to it. James, from years of quidditch easily blocked the blow. He grabbed Amos' arm and flipped it behind him.

"1. You are not Lily's boyfriend. 2. Punching me? Very stupid. And…3. I am sorry I used your sister and I don't deny it. Therefore I will allow you to punch me. Please avoid the eyes. I need those to be a chaser." James said. He released Amos and closed his eyes waiting for contact. When none came, he just barely opened one eye.

"It's not okay to hit someone when they allow you too. It takes the purpose out of it." Amos muttered and stalked away. James opened his eyes carefully. Thank Merlin most of the onlookers had left, leaving only a few stragglers.

"Genius!" Sirius said clapping James on the back. "But how did you know he wouldn't h it you?" he asked. Remus shook his head at his friend's idiocy.

"I didn't" James said quietly. He entered the common room and went straight up the stairs, leaving Sirius shocked, Remus worried, and Peter thinking about food.


	7. This Beautiful Hell Hole

**A/N: Well here it is! I hope you like it! I know a lot of you thought Lily and Sirius really over-reacted so I tried to address that point. Thanks for reviewing; it really helps me get my story on the right path. Thanks Guys!**

Lily just stared. Her shock was beyond words. Had Severus Snape, a Death Eater just tell her she needed to get out? Yeah, because he was so big on her freedom. You know considering he was _tying her to himself!_ Never missing a beat Lily said

"Really? And here I thought I was going to live here happily ever after, I can't imagine wanting to leave this beautiful hell hole." She said. Snape shushed her.

"They're going to hurt you. They want Potter and his merry band of gits; they'll tell him they'll hurt you. And they will. Dumbledore won't let them leave. So you'll get hurt…slowly. Then they'll come and you'll all get hurt. I can't risk you. Soon the Ministry will declare you dead. Then maybe we have a chance. Dumbledore won't stop looking for you and decreases the chance of you getting caught by one of the Dark Lord's spies." Snape said in a rush. Lily just stared. Again. He was joking right? He wanted to keep her safe…and declared dead? What would her sister think when she got the owl? She'd probably throw a party. A tasteful party mind you, nothing out of the ordinary for Petunia. Having no remark, Lily resorted to her never ending cheek.

"You know usually you don't get the old ball and chain until your married, of course who would marry you? This might be prudent practice for one of your…looks." She said loudly as Snape clasped the handcuffs slowly almost…gently on her wrist. He then did the same to his own.

"I really appreciate the whole using me to get to my friends, I find it flattering but I'm really close to them now and I would really not like to see them dead." She said only to Snape, eyes flashing dangerously. Lily thought back to the whole reason she was in this mess. She really had overreacted. It was just…James saying she didn't understand opened up wounds from the funeral.

"_You'll never understand Lily! You freak! You can't understand! Us NORMAL people get it! You probably don't even care that they're dead! If you did, you could have saved them from that crash with your voodoo crap!"_

Lily could still here Petunia's voice echoing in her head. She hadn't really been mad at James she thought. She was just rehashing the past. And now he was going to think this was his fault and try to be the stupid hero when really it was all her fault! She'd run into the forest. _I am so stupid!_ She thought. And his parents just died! Lily drowned in regret and shame. All her fault. And right then she new she had to get out. Not because she would be killed or tortured. Because if she didn't get out James would come looking for her. As would Sirius and the rest of them. They'd been getting along so well for the past few months. She'd actually gotten quite close to Sirius and the rest of them. She'd even been getting closer to James. She _really _had to get out. If they would have come for her before…what would they do now? She felt utterly screwed. It was a lose-lose situation.

"Alright git, what's the plan?" Lily said slowly. Snape's face shone with disbelief.

"Really? You'll risk it?" He asked, voice quivering. Lily stared with disgust.

"No, I'm going to sit on my arse and get killed" she said sarcastically. "It's like you never knew me at all." She said. Instantly, she regretted the words. His eyes widened and he grabbed her wrists tightly.

"Never doubt that I knew _everything _I could about you." He said threateningly, but she could see the vulnerability in his eyes. Lily decided the best course of action was to just drop it.

"I'm waiting" she said impatiently. "I would tap my foot but it's numb"

"I'll help you" he said, hand snaking around her waist. Lily slapped it away.

"Do not touch me" she said menacingly. She tried to stand but her battered legs couldn't support her. Lily collapsed in a heap at Snape's feet. The Death Eaters around her laughed.

"Oh how the mighty have fallen…literally" Rodolphus Lestrange sneered. Lily tried to heft herself up by her arms, but only succeeded in falling again, cheek to dirt.

"Oh honey you obviously can't get up. Should I help you? Even your chicken legs will succumb to the imperious curse!" Bellatrix laughed evilly. Lily glared from her position on the ground.

"Hold on" Snape said gesturing to his waist. Lily grimaced but did as she was told. She hated this position, having to accept help from _him. _Even worse, was she was accepting help from her captor…or one of them. That just pissed her off. Really? This was karma at its finest. Overreact and you get kidnapped and held hostage. Wow, you gotta love life. Lily though back to what she'd told Sirius.

"_Life sucks and the you die"_

"I really should add kidnapped in there" she muttered so only she could here it. Snape must have caught it though because he raised a questioning eyebrow but said nothing. He lifted her up, forcing her shirt to ride up. Dolohov sidled next to her.

"Seems a shame to waste such…tender goods" he wheezed. The look in Snape's eye was murderous.

"Do not touch…" he began, but backpedaled at the questioning looks he received from the rest of the cult.

"I mean The Dark Lord gave us direct orders not to harm her physically…or emotionally" he said quickly. Lily sneered.

"Shouldn't be too hard for you, you already wasted your life" she quipped. Snape glared at her. He already had to do the impossible by getting her out of here and she wasn't making it any easier with her constant stream of cheek. He gave her a look. A look that clearly said _shut up._ But this was Lily Evans, and she would do no such thing.

"You know, I love how you all just come to every fun event like this matching" she continued, staring pointedly at her ex- best friend.

"It's so…cheerleader." They all gave her blank looks. In a flash of realization, Lily laughed out loud.

"Oh that's right" she said in between snorts "You're all purebloods" she said loudly.

"Or pretending to be" she added quietly. "You have no idea what a cheerleader is! This is going to be so much fun! I can say whatever I want but you won't understand!" she laughed again then feigned thoughtfulness.

"Or you will and you'll pretend you don't so the rest of the troupe won't kick you out. Blimey, this is bloody brilliant! But no worries those of you who do understand, I expect your facial expressions should be enough to clue the rest of you in" she continued struggling to keep her laughter down.

"And by the way…"

"That's enough Miss Evans" a voice cut in smoothly. A slimy, vomit- inducing voice that Lily knew was going to haunt her forever. Voldemort had decided to join the party.

Sirius felt stupid and dirty and…wrong. Not only because he'd just congratulated his best friend on using a girl because of her hair color, but also because he'd screwed up twice today and to be blunt, that sucked arse. Sure, he'd screwed up before .A lot actually. Like the time he'd provoked Michael Flint by charming an elf to follow him around on Christmas day singing

"_I wish you a Gryffindor Christmas, I wish you a Gryffindor Christmas, I wish you a Gryffindor Christmas and a Hufflepuff New Year!_

Or maybe the time when he'd charmed a can of paint to be everlasting and every tipping on every first year who walked by the knight on the fifth floor. Or…the incident. The near death incident. That one had been really bad. Hinting to Snivellus about the shrieking shack? Stupid. Hinting to him about Remus? Selfish. Nearly getting him killed? Ridiculously stupid and selfish. And James had saved the day. Somehow, it always came back to James. James had been the one to stop Flint from attacking Sirius. James had been the one who stopped the paint when a little Ravenclaw girl cried because she'd done her hair all pretty for a Hufflepuff boy and it had gotten ruined. And why did James do this? Lily Evans. Somehow it always came to her too. She'd been the one to fix the little girls hair, and find Flint and threaten him with detention for walking on the grounds after dark. (Which he hadn't done…he didn't think). She'd been the reason James straightened out, the reason they'd all straightened out. Alone, they were both incredible people and incredible wizard and witch. Together? They were just plain scary. When the walked down the hallways people parted, because they knew they were on a mission. Any wrongdoing was immediately ceased (At least until they rounded a corner) they were a great team. And Sirius was pretty sure he'd ruined it. He knew that James lashed out when he was upset. He knew Lily was over-emotional when she was sad. Dear Merlin he knew he went crazy when he was in grief! And he'd let her leave. He'd let her walk out the door and get hurt by a stupid comment. A comment he could have kept from her ears. He'd been so self absorbed he hadn't even realized until afterwards that it was next to certain this would happen if the two of them were upset and together. Their relationship was too rocky for this kind of pain. First he let her run away. Then he'd slapped James when he clearly hadn't done anything _truly _wrong. Sure, he'd made some smart-arse remarks, but nothing best-friend slap worthy. And he hadn't gone to find Lily. He could've found her if he hadn't been concerned for James. His best friend loved her, he knew that. Despite his façade, James was an open book…to the right person. And now, James was next to dead. After the scene he'd made, James was practically a ghost. He never left the Head's room except for classes. He didn't eat in the Great Hall and he refused to go to Hogsmeade. Every day to him was just another day to watch the large oak doors and wait for Lily to walk through them and into his arms. Sirius could only watch and mourn. His best friend was falling apart, and the only thing that could fix it was somewhere in a forest or… He couldn't even say it. But he knew it was true. Lily Evans was most likely dead. They could only hold out hope for so long Even so, Sirius was certain that sitting around on their arses wasn't doing much to help her so he did the only thing he could do. He talked to Dumbledore. The gargoyles outside the Headmaster's office barely needed a password from Sirius anymore, as he was chastised in the very office they guarded so many times. Dumbledore had actually given him the password himself, to provide less waste in time... Even so, Sirius gave it to them. Lollipops. He certainly was a strange man Dumbledore. As he climbed the staircase he began t here loud voices. Were they arguing? Probably. Dumbledore had important people in his office all the time. But being Sirius Black, he eavesdropped. Putting his eye level with the keyhole he could clearly see a man with a dark complexion and wavy black hair pacing amongst many weird contraptions.

"We can only hold out hope for so long!" The man said in a raised, clearly exasperated voice, with a slight accent. Sirius recognized the voice of Nelrim Dazwhiret, the head of the Magic Search and Rescue Team. He'd been over to the Potter's house many times.

"My dear Nelrim. We will hold out hope until she is found" Dumbledore.

"Oh Dumbledore, don't you understand? The only reason Lily Evans hasn't been declared dead is because I owe you a favor. Which I certainly do not now" he added. Dazwhiret was clearly upset, and his hands flew up and down as he gestured wildly. Sirius gasped. Lily declared dead? This was worse than he thought. He clapped a hand over his mouth. Surely Dumbledore hadn't heard that. The headmaster said nothing, but his eyes slipped towards the door knowingly.

"And I thank you Nelrim. I will continue to extract memories and plot charts until I find Miss Evans." He replied. Remarkably calm compared to his visitor.

"Or her body" Dazwhiret muttered. It took everything Sirius had not to go smack some positive thinking in the Search and Rescue head's face. The man gathered his coat and put on his hat and quickly began to make his leave.

"Well I expect full Hogwarts cooperation and help. This is a pigeon chase anyways" He'd reached the door and turned the knob. Sirius hastily moved to a dark corner, hating to miss Dumbledore's reply.

"Help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it…and if I'm not mistaken its wild _goose_ chase" Dumbledore said. Dazwhiret was clearly disgruntled. He may not have taken the words seriously, but Sirius knew that those thirteen words would remain with him forever. Nelrim Dazwhiret took his leave quickly, and huffed loud enough for Sirius to here him the whole way down the steps. Sirius stayed in place. He didn't want to get in trouble for cheating. Then a clear voice rang out.

"You may come in now Mr. Black, I expect you're wondering about your friend. And what you just overheard"


	8. At Least I Got a Catchprase

**A:N/ Hey guys another Sunday, another chapter! I got some advice from a friend and tried James' point of view. Hope you like it!**

His name sent chills down her spine.

His touch made her skin crawl.

The sound of his voice made her dry heave.

Voldemort.

Being muggleborn, Lily hadn't heard that name until her first year on the boats to Hogwarts when she'd put her eyes around Alice Longbottom, her first friend's eyes.

"_Who it is"_

"_You know who!"_

_*gasp*_

"_Lily how can you even joke about that!"_

It wasn't until Marlene McKinnon had explained Alice's tragic loss of her parents by Voldemort that she fully understood what had been so wrong about her joke. But even then she still couldn't believe that an entire race was so scared of a word. Until now. Now she realized the fear. She'd been saved from 11 years of it, but now it was here and alive. Her body practically seized. His red eyes bored into her and it was all she could do to stop herself from screaming. She was already crying she'd given up that battle long ago.

"Miss Evans you're proving more difficult than I previously thought." The cold eyes continued to stare at her. Where they glaring? Was he mad? What kind of things did an evil snake…thingy get mad about? Questions Lily would have normally asked with her signature sarcasm. But not to those cruel eyes. Not to that sharp line face.

"Imagine my surprise when I find that my Death Eaters have been complaining. Complaining about one measly little mudblood"

That one word was all it took to spark Lily's energy. Before Lily was defeated, upset, and mad. Now she was enraged, disgusted, and in the end…pissed. Was this snake dude really calling her names? He clearly didn't look in the mirror often. But as she opened her mouth to tell him so, an invisible cloth gagged her.

"Bloody hell" The sound was muffled, those two words were quickly becoming her catchphrase. _ At least I got a catchphrase out of this. _ Lily thought. She tried to speak again but a second cloth gagged her tighter. This time when she tried to use her catchphrase, no sound was heard. Lily struggled, the Death Eaters clapped.

"You are a…surprise Lily Evans." Voldemort said, cutting through the noise like a knife.

"I hate surprises" The last words he said with pure menace, and Lily knew every word was true.

"But you can be used." Lily bit out at him, she didn't get far seeing as she was attached to Snape but she made her point.

"Feisty" Voldemort said. "But that can be fixed or rather you can be tamed." Lily tried to protest but the gag was holding strong, cutting into her cheeks. _Oh come on. Now a gag that harms the wearer? Put her in the joke shop!___Lily figured if she couldn't say her cheek, she might as well think it. She was pretty sure it smelled of socks. Dirty gym socks from when she was in middle school in the muggle world. She'd always hated that smell. Did they know that?

"You my dear are quite the puzzle" Voldemort circled her as if he were inspecting her for a dog show. _Ha. She thought another muggle comparison, and he likes to think he's pure wizard!_

He stopped roving when he was behind her.

"Severus, don't you think t hose cuffs are a little loose?" damn he was good. Lily felt a sharp, painful tug on her wrists. The pull jerked her like a doll…more muggle relationships. Lily tried as hard as she could to keep her mouth shut but the tugging didn't stop like she expected it to. Was he trying to cut her wrists off?

"Dear Merlin bloody hell!" she exclaimed in spite of herself. Voldemort stopped circling her suddenly. He jerked his head up, a new train of thought.

"Why do you say dear Merlin?" he asked suddenly. Lily looked at him, shocked.

_You have got t o be bloody kidding me. I've been kidnapped and abused and he wants to talk about my choice of exclamation! _Lily thought.

"Let's see Merlin. Powerful. Great wizard. Helped people. Famous. Loved. Yeah, I think that covers it! You know like when muggles say "Dear God!" sheesh." Lily huffed in exasperation. Voldemort snapped his head around to glare at her.

"I'm powerful, a great wizard and…famous." He said turning his head towards the Death Eaters, challenging them to disagree. When none of them did, Lily rolled her eyes.

"You forgot murderer, evil, and snake. Why would I complain to you? You'd just Avada Kedavra me! Lily said irritated. Seriously? This was his big concern, not that fact that he killed thousands of innocent people? Voldemort snapped out of his reverie.

"From now on the phrase "Dear Merlin" is never to be uttered." He said harshly. "If you feel the need to call out in exasperation you will say "Dear Voldemort"." His eyes stared down each Death Eater in turn as they bowed and answered:

"Yes, my Lord"

"Good" Voldemort said, clearly pleased with himself. "Now I have matters that take more precedence than this filthy mudblood." Lily was powerless to anything but glare. "Severus please see to it that she is not harmed…physically." He then raised his cloak and vanished. The Death Eaters were silent a practice which was probably quite common after a visit from the Dark Lord.

"Man, I wish I could do that!" Lily shouted, effectively breaking the ice. All of the Death Eaters fix their eyes intensely on her. She shrugged (well sort of) her current constrictions didn't help.

"You know so I could get of here."

"YOU!" shouted a voice that was quickly becoming part of Lily's nightmares. Bellatrix.

"You will never have the power of the Dark Lord! Not you, you filthy little mudblood whore! I bet your blood is so dirty they won't let you into those little blood tanks your parents must be even worse those grimy little BLOODY MUGGLES!" Lily seethed. She pushed her body forward. That was the last straw. No matter how hard Severus tried, she wasn't going to be pulled back.

"Do Not. Ever. Insult. My. Parents. You low life, crazy, bitch. And it's a blood bank not a blood tank. Wow you're stupid too? Haven't you got A LOT going for you?" Lily said it quietly, but her voice was like ice. Some of the Death Eaters had even backed off. That was when Lily noticed the blood on her sleeve. It was dripping down onto her hands. She hadn't felt the metal in-between her handcuffs until now. A knife. Severus had given her an escape route.

James couldn't think. He couldn't speak. He could barely breathe. He was numb. There was no other word for it. Every day he woke up at 7:15. Everyday he went for a super long run so he wouldn't think about her green eyes. Everyday he took a super long shower so he wouldn't think about her smile. Everyday he ate breakfast with his friends and went to his classes so that he didn't think about her laugh. But nothing could stop him from thinking about her. Not runs, or showers, or even his classes. He did his homework to keep himself busy, but he didn't care. He didn't care that his grades were quickly falling from E's and A's to P's and D's, and even T's. All that mattered was her. James couldn't even think about her without nearly crying. The way her hair shone when she sat in the biggest chair in the common room, next to the window. The way her eyes crinkled when she laughed, and squinted when she read. The way she read non-stop no matter what was going on. The way she smiled after helping someone. If he wasn't avoiding his thoughts about Lily, James spent all of his time searching for her. He quit Quidditch to spend more time in the room of requirement or the library, looking for a spell or poring over maps trying to find her and save her.

Today was a day just like the others. James woke up. He went for a run. He showered and went to breakfast. The Marauders were worried. Their leader was nothing but a corpse. He'd probably be happier if he was dead.

"James, man snap out of it. We let you grieve, now lets just look" Remus said softly, passing James a buttered piece of toast.

"thff ismmm aythun do" Peter said. Remus rolled his eyes.

"He means "He's right mate, there isn't anything more we can do"." He translated. Sirius didn't say anything. He just looked mournfully at the floating figure of the Bloody Baron, the Slytherin ghost, and Remus was positive he was thinking of the chains he believed he should be carrying. Sirius shook free of his thoughts.

"Or is there?" he quickly left the table without another word. James was far too used to his ideas by now, no use in following him now. James didn't say anything, chewing his toast in silent thought.

"Remus, will you explain to me what happened. I mean really happened?" he said suddenly. Remus looked at him sharply.

"What do you mean mate?" he asked suspiciously.

"I mean, I've been going over it a thousand times everyday, and I still don't understand." And he had. Everyday since Lily had been declared missing James thought about every single word he said.

_"Lily no matter how many times you say "James" it won't change the fact that you have no idea how I feel and never will. Your sheltered life must keep this from you so please stop trying to be my savior because you're doing a shotty job at it"_

"Well…" Remus started slowly, breaking James out of his trance. He figured he owed James this much, to explain to him the awful story.

"You were both upset and you said something stupid things" he continued eyeing James for his reaction. James' eyes goaded him on.

"Well first she talked Sirius out of his depression…or I think she did he won't tell me. Then she went down to the pitch to do the same to you but when she tried you told her that she didn't understand your pain when she really did because of her…experience. I think you might have triggered a memory or something because then she ran away…and didn't come back."

"But why was she so upset? I mean I know I hurt her feelings and all but usually Lily could've taken that!" James said confusedly. Remus sighed.

"Well it wasn't exactly a "usual" week was it? You must have made her upset somehow" he paused and James tried to interrupt but Remus cut in first

"Whoa it wasn't your fault I know, but regardless she's gone. And we need to find her…or at least try. I'll see you in Charms"

Remus left the table as well, and was quickly followed by Peter who grumbled something about not being finished, for which Remus promptly smacked him.

James didn't go to Charms. Instead, he sat on a large chair, identical to the one Lily always occupied, in the Room of Requirement. On his lap was _Cinderella._ A muggle book that Lily had shown him. He remembered that day, one of their best.

"_Lily I'm failing muggle studies!" the red-head threw her head back and laughed, the boy hanging on to every sound._

"_You don't say? I didn't catch that when you called me on the "fellyphone" this summer." She laughed again. He was just glad she'd answered the call._

"_Then help me! I have to read this stupid book by tomorrow and I don't get it!" He held it out to show her. She laughed once again._

"_Cinderella? That's like the Babbity Rabbity in the muggle world." James sighed loudly_

"_Great NOW HELP ME!" And she did. She sat with him for two hours explaining that no, she couldn't just transfigure her rags into a dress and yes, the spell ended at midnight because the muggles didn't really know about magic. At the end of their session, Lily had read her favorite story again and James had, had the longest conversation ever with his favorite person._

James leaned back into the chair and smiled, Remus' words ringing in his ears.

"_You must have made her upset somehow" _

"_Whoa it wasn't your fault I know, but regardless she's gone. And we need to find her…or at least try_

And that's exactly what he would do. Sitting around on his moping arse wasn't helping to save Lily's. He grabbed the nearest map, deadest on finding his true love.


	9. Oh Bloody Hell No

**A:N/ Hey Guys! So I uploaded this early since tomorrow happens to be CHRISTMAS! And I know you guys don't want to check this when you could be with your families. So here's my Christmas present to you...until next week**

**Mele Kalikimaka (Merry Christmas)**

Lily was confused. So she did what she always did to help her with her exams. She looked to the facts.

1. She was being held hostage by the most evil wizard ever to be traded for the marauders.

2. Severus Snape was…worried about her?

3. She had a knife in her hands and four people guarding her as well as around thirty eyes staring at her.

It was the second fact that really bothered her. Why would Severus be worried about her? He clearly hated her, he'd proven a year ago. The moment he'd even mumbled the word "mudblood" their friendship was dead.

Of course he didn't accept that. He'd begged and pleaded, he'd even threaten to sleep outside the Gryffindor common room. But lately he'd stopped whining and complaining and delved himself deeper into the dark arts. It scared Lily. Gone was the little boy that gave her flowers every Valentine's Day, the boy that only gave her lilies and never forgot her birthday. The shaggy sweet boy from her youth was long gone and in his place was a monster.

Just looking at him made her want to cry. But that's exactly what she had to do now. As Voldemort continued to rant, Lily glanced slyly up at her captor. Who, in turn winked on the left twice. Lily immediately understood their secret language for boring classes. One wink on the left was no, one wink on the right was yes and two winks on the let meant "go" in class it usually meant something like "I want to go back to the lake today" but now it meant something entirely different. And that something was exactly what Lily was planning to do.

But was the knife going to even scratch the magic metal on her wrists? Only one way to find out, Lily carefully transferred the knife to her dominant right hand. Placing the sharp edge of the knife in the middle of the metal chain between the cuffs, Lily began moving the blade back and forth, trying to cut the chain in half.

But to her surprise as soon as the dagger made contact with metal, t began to glow red.

_A melting charm? _Lily thought. Her hands began to burn. She saw Severus wince and she fought the tears rising to her eyes. _I want to be free. There is no pain. I feel nothing only the relief of being free_ Lily coached herself. She couldn't stop now. The knife was bright red now, like the stove burners at home Lily realized. And the handcuffs were starting to melt. The gray liquid pooled at the back of her heels. It was working, but dear Merlin it hurt! 

Agonizing. Excruciating. Unbearable. Her wrists were surely nothing but bone by now. The tears were moving freely now, surely someone had noticed? Then again…she was a hostage. Of course it would be normal for her to cry. Little Lily. Of course a tiny little thing like her would cry. Clearly they didn't know her. There were two times in her life that she could remember she'd cried.

The first was when Severus had called her…that name. The second was when her parents had died. Come to think about she'd only counted as that incident as one time, but truth be told she'd cried a million times in the space of that one week.

Suddenly, the knife was cutting air, and the pain was gone. Free. Did she even remember the meaning of the world? She'd been captured for what a week? Two? Maybe even three! Surely not a month. The air was cold, the wind cooled the heat blisters she'd just acquired. It couldn't be near….Christmas could it? Not yet! What'd felt like six hours of pain, was really only six minutes. All of the death eaters were still enjoying the despair of their captor. Haha. If they only knew.

"This one's nearly cracked…did you see that grimace?" Bellatrix cackled. She grabbed Lily's face between her hands, Snape sucked in his breath. "My dear little mudblood, no need to cry dirty mudblood tears and mess up that bloody face even more. You're dirty parents and friends won't bee able to take it" she pinched Lily's cheeks.

That was it. Lily was no little girl she was done. That was the last straw.

"Oh bloody hell no you little crazy haired Voldemort wannabe!" Bellatrix eyes betrayed her surprise.

"I know you don't think you can just dump that shit on me and think I won't fight back!" the death eaters just stared.

"Ha. Yeah freaking right. I am soooo better than all of you and you know it too, that 's why you hate me. How dare you even suggest that? You think you're so much better? Bellatrix was speechless. Well, her and everybody else. Only Severus looked like he'd been expecting Lily to snap.

"Like you didn't have stupid crushes? Like you didn't obsess over acne, or stuff your bra!" her face was so red, it matched her hair. Bellatrix looked around uncomfortably.

"I know you don't think I didn't feel the same things you do except of course for the HOMOCIDAL TENDENCIES! Don't even kid yourselves for one more moment. You're just like me." Bellatrix's face tightened with fury.

"We are those who belong in this world! We deserve it!" she screamed, the death eaters nodded at her statement. Lily laughed and rolled her head and eyes. No one had noticed her lack of restraints.

"I gave up a long time ago thinking that you lot are better than me because your parents didn't marry for love. I decided that I'm a better witch than all of you put together, and if you don't think so go ask your star recruit about the thousands of different hexes I've used on him" Lily fought the urge to cross her arms.

"Ever heard of incest by the way? That's all you are. Not even love children. Family rejects. You're a group of misfit toys. And if you had a good _muggle _family like I did you would know what that means. But of course not you're all losers. Every last one of you" her eyes roamed the group, landing lastly on Snape, who's eyes immediately went down.

"You dirty mudblood! You can't handle yourself in our world! Or in anyone's! You don't deserve to be alive!" Bellatrix screamed. Lily only smirked.

"I can't?" she asked raising her freed arms grandly out in front of her. All Death Eater eyes widened. They were scared. Every last one of them was scared of this little red headed fireball.

"alanadonalacaduap" Lily chanted. Bellatrix began backing away. A loud bang. A limb fell of a tree. Bang. Another one. Lily pushed her hands harder in front of her, burns in full frontal view.

"alanadonalacaduap" she said again. A death eater fell. Then another. Then another. Finally only Bellatrix was left. She stared at the torrent of branches and dirt coming towards her. A mini storm coming straight for her.

"NOOO you mudblood! HOW?" she screamed as she was sucked up by the storm. Lily collapsed. She was exhausted.

_Part one complete. Time to leave_ she thought. Then she ran. But not before softly kissing a greasy haired boy on the forehead.

"Mr. Black if you'd please take a seat" Dumbledore said calmly to a frantic Sirius.

"Sit down! You want me to sit down when my friend is basically being declared dead?" Sirius paced up and down, fighting the urge to start breaking the weird instruments scattered about the room. Dumbledore leaned back in his high arched chair and pressed his hands together.

"On the contrary, your friend is being searched for thoroughly" he said keeping his composure. Sirius however was a different matter entirely. He gave Dumbledore a scathing look.

"I KNOW you are joking right now!" he screamed. "That bloke with the weird accent just basically told you there was no hope!" His patience broke. And so did the spinning top looking instrument he threw at the far wall. Dumbledore didn't even flinch.

The heavy doors swung open and a very tired looking James Potter burst into the room, wand raised. His eyes widened in shock when he saw his best friend.

"Wha...wha...wha...what? When I heard the crash, I…I….I…. I thought you were being attacked!" he yelled sheepishly lowering his wand. Dumbledore just stared at him, not showing any emotion other than pure calm.

"Mr. Potter, what wonderful timing! I was just about to explain our current search for Miss Evans" James' eyes widened. He looked at Sirius who shrugged.

"If the two of you would kindly sit down" James automatically headed towards the nearest wooden arm chair. When he noticed that Sirius wasn't following him he doubled back.

"Come on Sirius I have to know" he said pleadingly. Sirius nodded and allowed himself to be dragged towards a chair.

"Wonderful" Dumbledore said when they were seated. The two boys just stared at him. They weren't going to talk until they heard the truth.

"Well boys" Dumbledore sighed. "I can't seem to find Miss Evans anywhere" Sirius gasped, James slumped in his chair.

"Bbbbutttt you have to find her!" Sirius yelped jumping up out of the chair. James sat stonily, not saying a word.

"Mr. Black if you would kindly sit back down. I did not say that I wasn't trying to find her, I said I was having a hard time doing it" Dumbledore barely batted an eye. Sirius gaped.

"obviously you aren't looking hard enough…or you've you've you've GIVEN UP!" Sirius shouted slamming the door loudly behind him. Dumbledore put clasped hands in his lap.

"Are you still interested in hearing my plans my dear boy? I can assure you I will _not_ give up without plausible reason too." His voice was firm. There was a moment of silence. Then James nodded. Dumbledore smiled.

"of course you do considering you're….emotional attachments" he gave James a mischievous grin. James didn't ask him how he knew. Everybody knew, why not the Headmaster?

"Miss Evans has been gone now for a total of.."

"12 days" James interrupted glaring. "I know, now what are we going to do about it?" He asked angrily. Dumbledore just smiled.

"I should have known. If you'll allow me to start from the beginning my boy." James continue to glare but stopped talking.

"Thank you. Now, as soon as I discovered of Miss Evan's disappearance I began racking my brain for all possible solutions" James rolled his eyes but didn't say anything. Dumbledore hid a smile.

"I thought first of a search party" James' eyes widened. As soon as he opened his mouth to ask why he wasn't invited Dumbledore raised a hand.

"I didn't invite you because it didn't happen" James' open mouth clamped shut.

"I then assumed I should tell the ministry but they would inevitably"

"declare her dead" James answered stonily. Dumbledore sighed.

"I see you've spoken with Professor McGonnagall" James nodded.

"Well she's right. But, I can only go so far unless we can find her and I can see her" James' eyes narrowed.

"But as I'm sure you know, I'm afraid my eye sight is quite impaired these days, they often play….tricks on me." Dumbledore chuckled, tapping his glasses.

"Does that mean…"

"That I will continue searching for her regardless of what the ministry says?" James nodded. Dumbledore gave him a meaningful look then tapped his ears and pointed to the walls. James' eyes grew large, they seemed to be doing that a lot lately. He nodded to show that he understood. They were being watched….or rather heard. They bugged Dumbledore's office? Who bugs Albus Dumbledore's office? Clearly not someone who knows him very well.

"Like I said we can only go so far" But as he said this the Headmaster nodded his head. James smiled.

"That's simply not good enough for me professor. We have to find her!" He said, playing along. Dumbledore grinned then motioned for him to break something. James looked around him. He tried to find the most useless thing….problem was nothing Dumbledore h ad was useless. He pointed at an old sneakoscope, asking permission. Dumbledore nodded and continued smiling.

"I can't accept that she's dead!' he screamed before beginning to slam the heavy doors behind him. Dumbledore stifled a laugh.

"Mr. Potter wait!" James halted at the door.

"I'd like to speak with you down by the Lake tomorrow at three o'clock. I would like to talk to you about…. Marks. Bring your friends please, they too are having…trouble" James gave a quick nod then slammed the doors loudly. 


	10. My Girl

**A:N/ So my first official update in **2012 **Happy New Year everybody! So I think this is my favorite chapter so far! I made it longer than usual to bring in the new year! So as I continue to write this story please review! It's the best thing ever when I get advice! Hope everybody had a great holiday!** **Read&Review!** **Disclaimer- I highly doubt J. K Rowling has to do Spanish 2 homework. Just saying.** **(Sorry I always forget those!)** Lily was running. She was running so fast she couldn't feel her legs. She probably would have said they felt like jello and laugh when no one understood what she meant if she weren't running for her life. Her wand was clutched in her hands. She'd stolen it off Bellatrix before she left the Hell Hole as she was now calling it. But she didn't do any magic. Half of her was too scared to stop running and the other half Assad just too tied to even think of an useful spell. She must have been running for hours. It was dark when she'd escaped and now he sun was rising. The orange tinged pink sky was beautiful against the thousands of trees surrounding her but she wasn't in any position to admire it. She had no idea where she was. Every couple of minutes she would look around for the familiar smoke from Hagrid's cabin or listen for the great squid sloshing around in the lake, but all she was greeted by was snow on top of an endless amount of trees and frosty wind blowing through them. That was another thing, not only was Lily lost, she was freezing. Winter was not the season to run through the forbidden forest with jeans and a thin sweater. She hadn't really considered this situation when she'd gone down to the Quidditch Pitch. Finally her legs grave out and she dropped to the dirt ground. Every single part of her body was screaming in pain. Her muscles were cramping, her longs weren't getting any air and she was pretty sure she didn't look any better than she felt. She was right. She was positive she had a record amount of cuts and her entire body was bruised. Her knees were weak and her face arms and legs were bloody. She was a train wreck. Lily groaned " bloody hell". She began choking. After being sick….twice Lily looked at her surroundings. She was in a small clearing only about as big as her dorm room. She was of course surrounded by snow covered trees but here were also large bushes that she knew from herbology were filled with wolfsbane which she also knew from herbology attracted werewolves. Which shouldn't be a problem if tonight wasn't a full moon. Lily swore and tried to count the days since she'd been captured. "shit" She had to Move NOW. A certain werewolf was going to be out tonight. And she was a big red bulls eye. Lily pushed her aching arms against their raging protest. Lily tried to lift her head and was rewarded with a stampeding headache and a very green, very blurry view. She fell back to the ground, her body moaning. Clearly, moving was no an option and even though she was clutching a wand she still had no energy to use it. Lily thought about what Voldemort was going to say when he found t she was gone. She have a half-hearted chuckle that hurt her chest. How daft do you have to be to boast about having a captives wand? " oh that little mud blood will never find it I keep it very close to my person" Bellatrix had said patting he side of her robes. Idiot. As soon as she'd had the chance Lily snatched her wand and ran. Now she couldn't run anymore. But she still had the wand. Of course a wand is useless if you don't have the energy to use it. Add to that a certain Hogwarts werewolf was undoubtedly going to rip her to shreds she had to think fast. She had until the moon rose for the second problem and the death eaters were probably fast awaking. "shit" Lily muttered again. She could feel her eyelids drooping. She grimaced and raised her arm where a battered silver watch with emerald studs was laying upside down with a long crack on its glass face. But it was still working and that's all that she needed. The moon would rise around 9:30. She set it's alarm for 7:00. Hopefully two and half hours would be enough time to plan and hopefully sleeping until 7:00 would give her a chance to rest and use magic. And hopefully the death eaters wouldn't find her by then. "I guess you'd say what can make me feel this way? My girl" Lily woke to he sound of the Temptations, a muggle band .She had to laugh. Even through the intense pain she was still feeling. My Girl? She'd never used the alarm clock before and this is what eh wakes up to lost in the middle of he forest? Well she supposed that made sense considering where she'd gotten the watch. _It was second year. When James hadn't been asking her out he'd been teasing her. It was at breakfast. Halfway through the term. She'd made the mistake of telling her best friend Alice about a song her father sang to her every night when she was little. She heard the music before she saw him. As soon as the easily recognized tunes hit her ears she'd swerved around in her chair. Enter sodding James Potter. She expected him to make fun of her reaction or maybe her taste in music she might have even expected him to make another pass at her but she certainly did not expect him to hop on the table in front of her (spilling juice everywhere) and start belting out the words to a song that no wizard knew. But that's exactly what he did. _ Of course James would remember that. Of course he would give her a watch that sang _that _song for her birthday. She'd woken up the morning of her sixteenth birthday to find a little package on her bedside table with a note that said _Lily_ _This watch should help you if I'm not there to protect you, just press the little red button inside it's face. But ONLY in emergencies._ _James_ She was quite shocked when she opened the little box to find such a beautiful watch. Slim and silver with real emeralds that glittered like her eyes. She didn't want to take it. But he wouldn't take it back. She didn't even know James knew it was her birthday. But it sure had helped in the long run. Of course those stupid Death Eater's were scared, apparently the watch caused mini hurricanes! No wonder he told her to only use it in emergencies. Lily chuckled as she struggled to get back up. This time she managed it. She thought of the moment she realized she had the watch. Then she remembered an old cop movie her dad used to make her watch. Her favorite line had always been "_And be sure to take ALL of their belongings. They're criminals not idiots"_ She laughed out loud then began talking to no one "They're Death Eater's _and _idiots" Lily's head span as she got to her feet in a crouch like position. "That's gonna be a migraine" she moaned. Her body was covered in the dirt from where she'd slept, and her bruises and scrapes looked even worse than before. When she finally did get to her feet, the world around her cleared. She could now see each individual green leaf on each individual tree, as well as the wolfsbane. Right. She still had to get out of there. Lily looked at her watch. Okay, two hours. What can you accomplish in two hours? Lily took ten minutes out of her precious hours to think. And think. And think. Until finally it came to her. She hurried to get out her wand. At least she had a chance to warn the Marauders about…everything and by chance get a little help. She was beyond her own pride. Lily took out her wand and whispered "expecto patronum"

The Marauders couldn't sit still. James had woken up at four that morning, closely followed by his three best mates…well two Peter was only woken up because Remus took his blankey away.

"Do you think he'll let us look for her?" Sirius asked after they'd agreed none of them could go back to sleep and Peter had been roused for the fifth time. James didn't answer. He'd been staring out the window above his night stand for a good fifteen minutes.

"I don't know, but why else would he have us meet him near the Forbidden Forest?" Remus answered, eying James warily. James jumped up and put his fist through his pillow.

"Bloody hell we don't even know if she's still in the sodding Forbidden Forest!" he yelled pacing the room. Sirius and Remus exchanged a look. They were used to this argument.

"Where else would you like us to start?" Sirius said bluntly earning him a hard slap to the head from Remus.

"Mate, we have to search everywhere and we will this is just a starting place so we can gather erm…that muggle word….clues!" Remus covered, refusing to cower under James' intense glare.

"But what if we don't find her there and she dies because we couldn't get there in time?" To this, the boys had no answer. What could you possibly say to that?

"What if she's dead?" Remus and Sirius turned their heads slowly to look at Peter, who was nearly asleep again. Sirius whacked him hard in the head, Remus threw a pillow at him.

"She's not" James said forcefully. Sirius and Remus nodded.

"You don't have to convince us mate" Sirius said, continuing to glare at a now sleeping Peter.

"I know, but what if she is?"

Remus sighed and went to sit next to James, patting him on the back.

"Well then we owe it to her to find out" he said softly. Sirius joined them, looking at the sleeping form of Peter with disgust.

"Stupid lump of a git" he said. The boys laughed, and continued to laugh until it was time for breakfast.

Sirius' legs were shaking.

James' hands were shaking.

Remus' feet were shaking.

Peter's mouth was full.

None of them, minus Peter, were eating. Not even Sirius, he noticed that the man with the weird accent was sitting at the high table. He suddenly lost his appetite. And that was saying something.

The whole Great Hall seemed to be in a somber mood. All of the decorations that were usually up for Christmas seemed forlorn. Even the Christmas tree was drooping.

There was a low chatter, but nearly all of it was from the Slytherin table. Everyone missed their Head girl. Without her Hogwarts just seemed…dull. Most of the Slytherins even felt it. James looked towards the Slytherin table, picking at his food.

One Slytherin in particular looked extremely guilty. But mostly sad. His hooked nose had sunk deeper. His sallow eyes were filled with unshed tears. His hair was greasier.

Severus Snape looked like hell. And only James seemed to notice. Of course he knew why. It was no secret that Severus loved Lily. Come to think of it that looked like guilt on his face. Was he part of this? James watched Snape scratch his arm. The arm his Dark Mark would be on. James' mind clouded with anger. How could he? How could he possibly hurt someone he claimed to love so much.

Severus seemed to feel the sensation of being watched. He glanced around until meeting James' hard hazel eyes. His black pupils widened. He looked hurriedly around him to see if anyone was watching. Then he caught the even harder eyes of Lucius Malfoy and quickly turned his head towards his porridge.

James continued to stare at him. As soon as Lucius left the Great Hall Snape sprang into action.

Out of his pocket, he pulled a quill.

"What are you doing?" Remus voice drowned in James' thoughts.

Out next from the shabby graying robes came a small scrap of parchment.

"Is there a reason you're staring at Snivellus?" Sirius' voice too went in one ear and out the other. James was to busy to even notice the worried glance shared by his best mates.

Snape was scribbling now, very quickly.

Never missing a joke Sirius whispered quietly to Remus

"Think he got grease on the paper?" which earned him a pale hand over his mouth, Remus too was now staring intently.

Next from the robe was a very short stubby wand. Snape began muttering and waving his wand of the parchment. Then he abruptly stopped. James looked around quickly for whatever was supposed to happen. Nothing did. Hmph. He turned away. He and Snivellus were due for a nice little chat.

The other two Marauders turned away as well.

"Well that was stra-"James looked to see what had made Remus stop mid sentence. At the moment he looked more like a dying fish than Remus Lupin.

He pointed to the large doors. The heavy wood banged together and in galloped a silver shimmering animal. A doe. James gasped.

"Now that is strange" Sirius said under his breath. "A doe? As in a female Stag?" He looked hurriedly to gauge James' reaction. James just stared. A matching Patronus. To his stag. It had to be. It couldn't be anyone else.

"Lily" he whispered.

By now, all of the Great Hall had turned and gasped in turn. Professor McGonagall had her hand to her mouth with tears in her eyes. Dumbledore was standing up. He had a sad look on his face. Sad but determined. Whispers flew. Why was there a Doe in the middle of the Great Hall?

Severus Snape looked like he'd seen a ghost. His mouth was wide open and his eyes were round as saucers. Just when Dumbledore raised his hand for silence the majestic doe opened its mouth.

"**Well. I'm lost."** It said.

The Great Hall erupted into gasps. James loudest of all clutched the arm of Sirius who looked like he'd been hit with a train.

"**So, stupid Death Eaters captured me but I err…got away with some creative…time work.**"

James gasped again. The watch. He would've smiled at any other time. Dumbledore raised his arm again. There would be no more talking until the Doe was finished. Such was very clear.

"**And now I'm sort of lost in the middle of …somewhere. I assume this is the Forbidden Forest considering that's where I was taken. I can't walk anymore so I suspect the Death Eater's will find me again soon. I think I broke my ankle. There's not really a chance of me getting out of her…but I'm damn well going to try" **

Remus was crying silently. As was Sirius and pretty much everyone in the Great Hall. Only James remained dry-eyed.

"**Now Remus, James, Sirius considering where I am it really doesn't matter if I use your first names. Otherwise I assure you I wouldn't be"**

Normally they would have laughed. Even though she was near death, Lily still had cheek. Peter was suddenly very interested in the back of his hand. No one noticed his guilty look.

"**They took me for you. You are absolutely not in any circumstances allowed to come look for me. They want you. And they won't stop until they get you. You can't come. It won't hurt me. I'm already lost out here."**

Lily's voice sounded strained. Strained and filled with tears.

"**By the way none of this is your fault. **_**Any of it."**_

Was it his imagination Remus thought. Or was the Doe now looking specifically at him.

"**I know you're sitting there drowning in misery, that or planning a rescue but stop. Trust me I have way bigger problems. Seriously…no pun intended Black. I'll find my own way out of here."**

The Doe turned to the head table where each professor gasped and continued to cry. Except for Dumbledore.

"**Headmaster. Under no circumstances can those three prats search for me. Since there's little chance of finding of me I might as well give you a little help."**

Dumbledore smiled a sad smile and shook his head.

"**Professor Sprout, if I'm right there are only a few places where Wolfsbane grows. Correct? Well I'm surrounded by it" **

Remus gasped. Sirius squeezed his arm tightly. Remus began chanting "no" under his breath and checked his pocket calendar shaking his head.

"**Also I'm in a clearing. So obviously someone's been here."**

James' mind immediately jumped to Hagrid and he looked to the large man, who had a large hanky out and was loudly blowing into it.

"**Considering the size of it, I wouldn't say Hagrid. Think smaller. I honestly don't have the brain power right now."**

James shook his head. Always thorough.

"**Well, I will try to move. I'll use the four point spell. I'll only go north. You can follow me that way. If I can't move then…thanks for being a really great group of friends and what not"**

Her voice cracked. As did any dry-eyed person's resolve.

"**Oh and I assume there is a ministry official there"**

The man with the funny name Sirius had overheard yelling flushed guiltily.

"**I guess this provides proof of life?" **

Dumbledore gave a light chuckle and eyed the man, who quickly nodded and ran off, probably to send an owl.

"**Well. I guess that' s it. No Marauders. Wolfsbane. Clearing. Death Eaters. That's all I can say…oh and sorry for-"**

The patronus message ended with a blood curdling scream. One last word was said before the Doe disintegrated.

"**James!"**

The boy in question paled as every eye in the place swerved to him. Dumbledore eyed him as well. He sunk in his chair.

"Lily" he whispered.


	11. Dr Phil With Her Biggest Fear

**A:N/ Hey guys! Thanks for reviewing! I originally was going to skip this week's update because of the week I had. Driver's Ed, a track meet, lack of track practice, exams, and my play director's anger at my inability to come to the _first _rehearsal! Yeah, it's been hectic. But all the reviews told me…NO! You left such a cliff hanger! S o here it is. I hope it's "up to snuff" (you'll laugh later). It was kind of rushed with you know life getting in the way. Well oh well. Review please! Love you guys!**

**Disclaimer: I highly doubt J.K Rowling is currently suffering through Driver's Ed**

Lily screamed involuntarily shouting James' name. She fell down in shock, nearly dropping her wand. The patronus she'd been holding for so long broke and a wave of exhaustion washed over her. Lily's eyes rose to the top of what had scared her. Directly in front of her stood a large, black, hairy spider and it was looking straight at her. Lily wasn't particularly fond of spiders. In fact she hated them. They were one of her biggest fears. It was something she'd picked up from her Mum. Rose Evans had once found a spider in peanut butter jar she was eating from, and from then on was terrified of them. Her husband John had always had to be on high alert in case his squashing skills were needed. Now Lily was staring at one of her biggest fears. _Literally._ The beast itself was the size of a bulldozer.

"Bloody hell" she whispered slowly, lighting her wand and rising from her current sprawled position hesitatingly. She held her wand out to get a better look at it.

Its entire body was huge. The head itself was the size of a wrecking ball. The beast was massive. And it might have been her imagination but she was pretty sure it looked hungry. Her voice was long gone and her knees couldn't seem to support her weight, so she was stuck on the ground. The spider's eyes blinked menacingly. Its mouth opened and Lily shut her eyes, expecting the worst.

"I never knew humans were so very daft." A raspy voice rang out. Lily opened one eye "To stumble into an acromantula sleeping ground and stay there"

Lily opened her other eye. She looked around. Despite what she'd surely just witnessed, she couldn't seem to comprehend a massive spider speaking to her. She stared back at the spider, mouth open.

"One who can't move" she snapped. Despite still being exhausted and broken and near death Lily didn't like what it was implying and she wasn't going to sit or rather…kneel and take it. The spider's many eyes widened in surprise.

"Obviously I'm not exactly up to snuff at the moment" she rolled her eyes and pointed to her many bruises and cuts, ignoring the rapid beat of her heart.

"I'm not that daft. I would have moved. If I could have. You're not so bright yourself challenging a wi-Lily Evans" Lily covered herself quickly hoping he hadn't caught it. If it knew she had a wand she would lose the only advantage she had.

"With no wand?" the beast asked suspiciously. Lily blinked and slid her wand into the waist band of her jeans. He hadn't noticed the bright light coming from it moments ago? And he had the nerve to call her daft?

"Your point?" she asked coldly. A low rumbling sound came from the spider, and for a short moment, Lily thought she was experiencing an earthquake, that is before she realized it was laughing. Laughing at her, seriously? She was half dead and her biggest fear was twelve feet tall and laughing at her?

"You are a feisty little witch….without a wand. I am a feisty acromantula with a large stomach" it answered chuckling. Lily shrugged, doing her best to keep her fears down.

"Fine. I'd just like to tell you though, I taste very sarcastic" she said trying again to stand up. The spider made the low rumbling sound again and Lily shivered.

"Having trouble, human?" it said inching towards her. Lily subconsciously took two steps back, shuffling on her knees. She rolled her eyes.

"And you called me daft?" she asked "Did you not hear me say the words 'not up to snuff'?" She gritted her teeth, refusing to let the spider win. She rose carefully to her feet and rested her weight on a large oak tree near her. Her ankle hurt like hell but she was standing. And that was all she needed at the moment. The spider watched, amused.

"What or more likely _who _hurt you, human?" it asked. "Clearly someone did it to you, and no one comes into the forest by accident" Lily snorted and tried to get a better grip on the tree.

"Let's see, would you like me to start with my parent's death, Death Eaters, or my ex best friend, who coincidentally is now a Death Eater?" she asked. The spider's face twisted with confusion. Never had a human been so open with him. Not since his days with Hagrid.

"You are a strange human Lily Evans" Lily cringed at its use of her name. "You don't seem to be fazed by my appearance" Lily smirked cheekily.

"Oh I am, I'm just not stupid enough to show it" the beast let out its rumbling chuckle. Then it became an all out, hoarse laugh.

"I am Aragog Lily Evans. And I would very much like to hear your story" Aragog said. Lily slid down the tree to the ground.

Her story? She wasn't even sure what her story was anymore. A month or two ago she could have told the large spider that she was a seventh year muggle born with a best friend named Hestia and a slowly becoming less of a pest named James. Now she could tell him how she'd been tortured. Or how her parents had died in a car wreck- a car wreck of all things! How she hadn't been there to save them. Could she have?

But was she honestly going to play Dr. Phil with an acromantula? She'd read about them. Their venom was highly valuable but their pincers were highly lethal. No doubt Hagrid had something to do with this.

"Do you know Hagrid?" she asked quickly, trying to change the subject. The spider's eyes widened in surprise, if she didn't know any better, Lily would say it's mouth was open in shock too…then again…it was a talking spider.

"Just tell me your story Lily Evans, it may prolong you're inevitable death "Aragog said harshly. Lily's hear beat quickened. Wand and a distraction. That's all Lily Evans needed.

She gave a fake sigh of relent. "I was…upset because my parent's died" she began. The spider listened quietly, not interrupting.

"Then a er….friend of mine was in the same situation and I tried to help" she continued. The spider sighed. He knew of a friend that had gone much too far to help him.

"He said some…things and I ran into the forest because I overreacted" she continued, tears threatening to fall. Aragog shook his gigantic head. Humans.

"Then I woke up and…I was captured by Death Eaters" tears were brimming her eyes, and her voice began to shake.

"Then my er…ex best friend helped me escape, but I was too tired and hurt so I stopped here." She eyed the spider warily "Which apparently makes me _daft_" the spider chuckled. Lily wiped at her eyes hastily.

"Why were you out here?" she said, avoiding the subject. Aragog gave her a look before answering in his low rasp

"I was hunting"

James stared at the last shimmers of the screaming doe. All other eyes were on him. He just stared. Like a stone. He couldn't move. He couldn't think. Actually, he could think. But only about Lily. A year ago, the fact that every eye in Hogwarts was on him, would have made him giddy. But today the fact that ones that mattered weren't and probably never would be made him a statue. His mind was blank. He vaguely heard Dumbledore dismiss everybody. Part of him may have felt Sirius gently tug him out of the room. But all he hear was the words of the doe repeating in his head and all he could feel was the ache in his heart where Lily was supposed to be. And the funniest part? She hadn't even to seemed to notice that a few years back she'd taken up permanent residence there.

"James" a voice called. James didn't answer

"Potter" said another. James responded with the same lack of response.

"Oi where's Lily?" said one. James arms shook and his head twitched, but Sirius and Remus kept him on a straight path ahead, Peter close behind.

"Potter!" a voice yelled. Again, James ignored it.

"James!" the same voice called again. James kept walking.

"JAMES SODDING POTTER!" the voice screamed. The Marauders stopped. The voice was a girl's but the tone was what made them stop. James turned his head to see Hestia Jones' raging face coming towards him.

"Why did she think you would take the blame?" she asked bluntly. Sirius looked at her in surprise. James didn't answer, but looked down.

"I said WHY DID SHE THINK YO WOULD TAKE THE BLAME?" Hestia screamed. Clearly, the loss of her friend was not a light one. Sirius dropped James' arm and held a hand towards Hestia, glancing back at James warningly, telling her to back off. Hestia gave him a glare.

"I will most certainly not back off Sirius Black" she huffed loudly.

"My best friend is missing and I just found out that you're little golden selves are part of it!" she screeched, attracting the eyes of many wanderers. Remus stepped in.

"Hestia" he said calmly. Hestia fixed her glare to him. Remus flinched but didn't back down.

"We'll tell you everything we know about…Lily" he continued, Sirius looked at him, shocked. Remus ignored him.

"But can we do it in a place where were not basically telling the public?" he asked glancing around nervously. Hestia rolled her eyes.

"She pretty much took care of that for you" she muttered, but nodded. Sirius grabbed James' arm again and they continued to drag him towards his room. The head's room. His and Lily's room. He suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to burst into tears. James Potter _never_ burst into tears. But that little feisty red head was enough to do it. Remus muttered the password and pushed James inside.

Hestia sat down dramatically on a couch and eyed the Marauders, waiting for an explanation. Remus and Sirius exchanged a glance. They sat James down into one of the arm chairs.

"James…he- well he was upset" Remus began. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"James was a bit of a git so Lily ran into the forest and was captured and apparently escaped and is now in some sort of trouble and so James feels very guilty" he said in a rush. Remus held up his hands in exasperation.

"You couldn't do that any kinder?" he whispered angrily. Sirius shrugged. Hestia sat back into the couch, digesting the new information.

"wh-wha-wha-what did he say?" she asked, her voice quivering. For the first time, the boys noticed that her cheeks were streaked with tears.

"erm…" Sirius said, for once at a loss for words. Remus huffed. Sirius looked at him and said:

"Yeah, that was kinder" under his breath.

"He yelled at her for not understanding the pain of grief?" Hestia's face contorted with rage. The boys nodded.

"Not understand grief?" she whispered murderously, rising slowly from her seated position. The three boys took a step back. James looked up for the first time.

"Do you understand-" she threw her hands up, and her face reddened.

"Her parents are dead, her sister hates her, and her former best friend has decided to make a hobby out of killing people like her!" she screamed. All four boys flinched.

"Last week Mulciber attacked her in a corridor- a bloody corridor!" she lowered her voice to a deadly whisper. The boys' eyes widened.

"The day before that someone sent her muggle-born hate mail!" she said voice back to screaming. The boys look shocked and took another step back.

"The day after Mulciber attacked her, Avery tried to jinx 'mudblood' across her damn forehead!" Hestia's face was red and she looked on the verge of exploding. She eyed the Marauders, daring them to say something.

"We- we-" Sirius stuttered.

"Didn't know?" Hestia interrupted angrily. Sirius nodded sadly. Hestia huffed.

"OF COURSE YOU DIDN'T KNOW!" she shrieked. The boys flinched and James' eyes welled up.

"That girl spends more of her life making sure no one sees her pain then she does living!" Hestia panted.

"You all think you know everything but you don't even see what's right under your nose!" Hestia was furious.

"Well he was upset" Sirius stammered nervously. Hestia rolled her eyes.

"It's not even the fact that you told her things like '_you don't understand grief'_" Hestia mimicked in a mocking tone, looking straight at James.

"It's that you claim to love her but you didn't notice she was miserable, but as soon as you're upset you can say the most awful things I guess the world stops for James sodding Potter!" James raised his eyes to her stomach, unable to make eye contact.

"I hope you're happy! You can go on her list of absolutely bloody awful things that have happened to her! Hestia spat, throwing a pillow above their heads, towards the stairs.

The Marauders just stared. Lily? As in bright, happy, optimistic Lily? They'd never seen her smile waver, not even the week her parents died. They'd never seen her cry or even stumble when someone insulted her. She'd been going through all of this? There were no words for the amount of guilt James felt. He wanted to crawl into a hole. Surely he'd be smothered by his own guilt. Lily had been through so much… and he'd only added to that pain. He knew that muggle-borns were looked down on, but to this extent? Lily was the most talented witch he'd ever met and she was the target of all this hate?

James looked straight into Hestia's dark, tear filled eyes and said

"I'm the farthest think from it"


	12. Mudblood and Damn Well Proud Of It

**A:N/ Hey Guys! Okay so that last chapter? BEST REVIEWS YET! Did you guys really cry? No offense but that makes me really happy! You know that I could write something that makes people cry! This chapters a little weird just hang in there. I got some advice to make Aragog a little more...intersting. Here's to hoping it worked!**

**Read and Review!**

**LOVE YOU GUYS! YOU ARE THE BEST READERS EVER!**

**Disclaimer- Nope. No sucky track times for J.K Rowling.**

"oh." Lily gulped.

She hadn't noticed how badly her legs were shaking until now. Aragog stared calmly at her, many eyes blinking slowly. Lily coughed. Her throat was dry and scratchy. Tension filled the air.

"Were you su-su-successful" she managed after a good five minutes. Aragog didn't show any emotion. He didn't say a word or twitch a pincer.

"I do believe I was. But I prefer to play with my food." he said after painstaking minutes of silence.

Lily rose her head slightly. Was he threatening her? She looked into his many eyes.

"So do you want to tell me about Hagrid?" she asked hastily, not wanting to talk about her being likened to a snack. Aragog flinched.

"That should not be your biggest concern Lily Evans" it said quickly. Lily's eyes became slits.

"Why?" she asked shrewdly. The spider shifted uncomfortably.

He looked nervous, Lily realized. Then she thought of Remus. Everybody thought Remus was a monster, but did he really have a choice? If she could accept a werewolf, shouldn't she accept a giant spider?

"What?" Aragog asked. Lily jumped, she hadn't realized she'd said the last part out loud.

"My friend is a werewolf" she said dazedly, as though this answer explained her previous comment. Aragog blinked.

"Lily Evans, I don't know what you are talking about" he said bluntly. Lily blinked rapidly, then looked at the spider as if she hadn't noticed a large acromantula in front of her.

"If I can accept that a man eating monster isn't really a monster, then I should probably give you a chance" she said quietly, eyes flicking between the spider and the ground.

"Plus not a lot of people come in here, so you probably weren't hunting for me."

The spider just stared. Lily backed farther against the tree she was grasping.

"That, Lily Evans was either incredibly poetic or incredibly stupid." it said finally.

"well. I suppose you have a decision to make" she said, unconsciously backing herself farther against the tree. "I do however enjoy poetry" she said scratchily.

Aragog was very confused. Had it not been a human who had forced him to his exile? Hagrid was not strictly human so he didn't count. But it didn't make sense. He had thought that all humans were heartless and closed minded. But this little girl. This little seventeen year old was willing to give him a chance? If he was hearing correctly.

"I am confused" the spider admitted finally. Lily raised her eyes from their resting spot on the ground. She smiled sarcastically.

"Dr. Phil for me is over. Would you like to try Oprah?" Aragog said nothing. Lily shifted her legs under her feet in an Indian style and rested her head in her hands.

"Would you like to talk to me about Hagrid?" she asked quietly. She figured that would keep him distracted from eating her until she could get out her wand. It worked.

"He saved me." he muttered, then his eyes widened then closed as though he was surprised at his own answer and worried of Lily's reaction. Lily's expression didn't change.

"from?" she asked bluntly. The spider opened half of it's eyes.

"Humans" Lily looked up.

"I see" she said knowingly. "were they hunting or exterminating?" she asked. Aragog took a step back. How would Lily Evans take hearing the barbaric tendencies of her own kind?

"Both" he said, not blinking. To his surprise, Lily nodded.

"It seems humans have problems with both of us" she whispered. The spider raised an eyebrow…..or at least Lily thought he did.

"Forgive me if I am mistaken, you are a human are you not Lily Evans?" he asked questioningly. Lily sighed and Aragog could tell this was a subject that had caused her deep pain.

"According to them no, because I was born to erm…non magical parents" she said angrily, eyes flashing. The spider's eyes widened in acknowledgment.

"You are a mudblood" it said knowingly. Lily glared and swore to herself that when she could move, she would tear the monster to pieces. Noticing the look on her face, Aragog backtracked.

"It is what you are is it not?" he asked quickly, for some reason praying that he hadn't angered the girl.

Lily thought about it for a moment. Mudblood. She didn't believe that her blood was dirty.

"no-" she started, but stopped. Why was she so offended by that term. Mudblood. She thought again. Mudblood. Mudblood. Mudblood. She continued to think it until it didn't even sound like a word anymore.

"just a word" she muttered quietly. Aragog gave a slight nod. Could the huge spider actually be right?

"_No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" _she heard her mother's voice said. Lily felt tears spring to her eyes.

The Eleanor Roosevelt quote had been one of Rose Evan's favorites. She'd tell it to Lily every time she'd gone to King's Cross. And before that, to primary school. I gave them my consent, she realized. Never again. She swore to herself. She refused to be ashamed of who she was.

"I am" she said, with a determined look in her eye "and damn well proud of it" The spider nodded again.

"as you should be" it said.

"Well. Isn't that just a coinky dink?" she said, coughing again. Surely she'd lost a lung by now. The spider blinked rapidly, a look of confusion briefly passing over it's features.

"What do you mean Lily Evans?" it asked, masking it's uncertainty. Lily let out a hoarse laugh. Lily rose in what she hoped was a dramatic way. The spider took an involuntary step back. Even disheveled and broken, Lily Evans was positively terrifying.

Her fiery hair flew around her face more like fireworks than hair. Her arms were rigid at her side. Her hand were clenched around a wand that Aragog hadn't noticed and her knees, locked. Her steps were incredibly painful but you wouldn't be able to tell by looking at her. Mouth, set in a hard line a gust of wind blew into her face lifting her tattered clothes and hair. This was all scary, but it was her eyes that truly made Aragog nervous well that, and the wand. Green and stone cold, they were filled with pure determination and a refusal to be afraid.

Suddenly, her eyes softened and she threw aside her wand.

"I accepted myself, now it's your turn" she said softly, grasping his leg in a friendly gesture. "You Aragog, are a creature of nature. Perhaps not gorgeous" the spider huffed and Lily gave him a 'get real' look.

"But you are kind and were able to get me to believe in myself. You should do the same for yourself" Aragog's eyes sprang tears, but Lily wiped them away carefully.

"I do believe Oprah is finished" she said.

And then all hell broke loose.

Sirius was in the corner. Which wasn't usually weird. Except for the fact that he wasn't saying anything. Now _that_ was a first. James and Hestia were in rapid conversation about Lily and Sirius was just standing there. What did I do? He thought.

The unbearable column of guilt that had been floating above his head, fell, crashing over him in a wave.

Sweet innocent Lily. What had she done to deserve this?

She'd been the one to slap Regulus when he insulted Sirius. She'd hexed Snape when he tried to get him from behind. She'd even stayed up until five in the morning with murlap essence and healing books on every full moon. Except for this one.

It was all his fault. All of it. James was his best mate, he should have known he would say something stupid if she went down here. He should have stopped her. And then he'd yelled at James. Surely he hadn't deserved that. Now one was missing or-... and the other was heartbroken.

To be totally honest, he hadn't even believed James. Seventeen and in love? Yeah, sure. But now? Sirius could tell just by the look in James' eyes when he'd found out. And by how he could hear him crying into his pillow every night.

A few days ago he'd even caught him with a picture of Lily snuggled neatly between two pages in his transfiguration book. James had found the rumored love of his life. And now she was gone.

Thanks to him.

Peter was feeling even guiltier than Sirius. But certainly not for the same reasons.

_They don't respect you 'wormy' why don't you just help us _The voice of Lucius Malfoy played over and over in his head.

He'd been so afraid, was it really his fault? No of course not. He didn't actually kidnap Lily. He just helped….find her. That wasn't so bad right? He'd helped James find her many times. Albeit he wasn't going to torture her.

But he really hadn't known about the whole Marauder ransom. If he had he wouldn't have done it…would he?

Maybe he would have. But so what? They hadn't even noticed his guilty expression. Or maybe it was because they all felt guilty….no they just didn't care about him. They never had. He was just a lap dog.

"_I'll-I'll-I'll send you message" _His own voice replayed in his head. And he had. As soon as Sirius told him where Lily was going, he'd sent a charmed piece of paper to Lucius. And it had gotten Lily taken.

Lily was always nice to me. He thought. What about that time she stayed up late to make sure you passed that transfiguration test and didn't tell Sirius or James so you wouldn't be embarrassed. They'd been so happy with his grade. But then again was that just a front? Peter felt as though a devil and angel were on each shoulder, like in his Saturday morning cartoons. But he didn't have a devil inside himself did he? He shouldn't have done it.

Then again they didn't respect him.

It was a full moon. To Remus it seemed like it was _always _the full moon. He barely recovered from the last cycle before he began the next. It was exhausting. But Lily made it better.

When she'd first found out she'd been mad. But not because he was a werewolf. If he remembered correctly, her exacts words when he'd told her were

"_yeah I know. Your point?"_ and then she'd slapped him for ever thinking she'd hate him.

He hadn't ever told her, but that reaction had really helped him. He knew she was in the same boat being muggleborn, but until Hestia had yelled at them, he hadn't truly realized how bad it was.

Lily was a good actress. She'd never shed a tear, that he could see. Hadn't complained, or gone into hiding like so many others. But she was in pain, just like the rest of them.

But he hadn't noticed.

And that was the part that was eating him alive. He'd spent rounds with her for hours and studied for even longer. They'd even started doing "wolf sessions" where Remus told her all of the things he couldn't tell his friends because of what they'd say.

She was honest with him. She knew his secrets. And he knew that she loved James. And if he was right, so did she. But now she might never tell him.

And not only because she was missing and maybe-….but also because she was about to get mauled by a werewolf. As soon as the moon rose.

Hestia knew James liked Lily. She knew Lily liked James. But she didn't know how much he loved her. The love in his eyes reminded her how much her best friend had been through and how much she really needed James. Her will power was constantly battered by racist bastards. James had always been there for her. Even so, Hestia had never seen her cry once, and only heard it the week her parents died.

Lily didn't deserve this. Actually, no one deserved this, but Lily especially. Before she moved to the Head's dorm Lily wouldn't come back to the common room for hours because of some tutoring session. She refused to hex people unless they deserved it and defended those who couldn't do it for themselves.

She was the sweetest person alive. But Hestia knew better. When she wanted to be, Lily Marie Evans could be fierce.

Fierce and kick arse as Hestia liked to say. Lily wasn't a person that you pissed off, which was why Hestia was next to certain she was still alive. Because if anyone could piss Lily off, it was a Death Eater.

And pretty as she was, Lily got ugly when it came to Death Eaters.

For the next two hours James talked to Hestia about Lily. Only about Lily. Where would she go? what would she do? would she fight back? Or was she too hurt? The constant talk of her lifted the pain in his heart briefly, but he knew it would be back as soon as they got around to talking about the lack of red heads in the room.

He knew she said not to mope. But James hadn't been doing what Lily told him to for years. Why stop now? He wanted to find her. Save her. Be her hero. Even if he had gotten her into this mess in the first place. Actually, even all the reason more to do so.

She was worth finding. He knew that. Remus knew that. Sirius knew that. The whole damn school knew that. The key was finding her. She'd been very cryptic with her message….and that scream. What in the name of Merlin had found her? Please he prayed, not Death Eaters. If she evaded them once, they wouldn't be very happy now.

He had to find her. That was the bottom line. But he had to shake Hestia first. Now way would he get another girl captured or endangered. Especially not one Sirius had been eying for the past semester. His friend thought he was being secretive, but James knew the goo goo eyes well. They were old friends. No, not secretive at all. He liked her. So James made a decision. No way would she be going with them.

He stood up in determination, and as he did he felt a piece of paper crinkle against his leg.

A piece of paper that he hadn't put there.


	13. Run Lily Evans

**A:N/ So what's new? I'll tell you what...THIS CHAPTER! Hopefully it's better than the last one, because let's be honest that was a bit of an epic fail. SORRY! So I really tried to proof-read this one, but were sort of on an interim laptop in my house until our real computer gets fixed and it kind of hates me so many of the mistakes are in fact due to my lack of a good computer. Again I apologize. Thanks to everyone who reviewed last week, review again! Thanks to everyone who reads it too! **

**Read & Review!**

**Disclaimer- Judging by my lack of an awesome british accent I am not J.K Rowling.**

* * *

><p>A green jet of light flew over Lily's head. A tree to her right cracked and fell over in defeat.<p>

"I found her!" the nasally voice of Rodolphus Lestrange screamed. Lily locked eyes with Aragog. They'd found her. In his dark eyes, she saw understanding and a silent goodbye.

"Nice to meet you Aragog" she said, before pushing herself off the ground in one fluid motion that she definitely shouldn't have been able to accomplish in her current state. Aragog, slunk back into the shadows.

The gangly, dark haired figure of Rodolphus Lestrange was hidden by the few trees he'd left in tact. Lily rotated in a circle. She had no wand. It was halfway between her and Lestrange, she snorted. Of course. Her eyes scanned what was left of the clearing she was in. Lestrange's eyes rested only on her.

That was his big mistake. Lily was nothing if not resourceful. So when she saw the very long, very sharp looking splinter of wood inches from her feet, her mind jumped through possibilities.

"Hello Miss Evans" Lestrange said wickedly.

"Well bloody hell Lestrange, long time no see!"

Another one of Lily's talents. Stalling. Now she was playing to Rodolphus Lestrange's biggest flaw: he had one hell of a temper.

"We have been looking for you" Lily stared again at the piece of wood. It was her best shot.

"Yeah I got that thanks" she said, fighting the urge to stare at the splinter and give it away.

"I see your wand is not…in use" he smirked, nodding towards where her wand lied on the ground, useless without it's master. She smiled.

"Shocker. So I imagine old Voldy is not too happy about the whole…took you forever and a day to find one little hurt mudblood" Rodolphus' face twisted in anger.

"The Dark Lord shall be very pleased with me, as it was I that found you" Lily opened her mouth to answer, but another voice cut her off.

"YOU!" it shrieked, Lily's eyes roved the trees to find it's owner.

"YOU did NOTHING! It was I who told you to look in that clearing!" A woman with frizzy black hair and a frightening look on her face stepped into view.

"If anyone gets credit, it shall be me" Bellatrix Lestrange screeched at her husband, who rolled his eyes.

"Bella" he said seductively. Lily laughed. Was he trying to seduce her? Bellatrix? She clearly hadn't married him for his smarts. Bellatrix's eyes widened in anger.

"Don't you _Bella _me! I am the leader of this group, so-"

"And who declared you the leader Bellatrix?" a slimy voice cut in. Lily jumped. Not him again.

"I was kind of enjoying the marital spat but I think this will be much more fun" she said weakly, fighting eye contact with the emerging form of Severus Snape. The group ignored her.

"We both know it to be true, Snivellus" Bellatrix turned on Snape. The evil glint in her eyes flashing. Snape gave Bellatrix a hard glare, but it was clear to Lily by the twitch of his mouth that he was fighting making eye contact as well.

"Only one of us seems to believe that Bellatrix" he said coldly. Lily watched them warily. This could blow up in her face.

"I found the mudblood!" Bellatrix screamed. Obviously her patience had broken. Lily resented being talked about like a lost sheep, but by the look in Bellatrix's eyes now was not the time to piss her off.

"On the contrary, I told you about remembering this clearing, so I shall take the mudblood to the Dark Lord myself" Bellatrix's hands were clenched and she was shaking.

"You shall do no such thing! I will take her to the Dark Lord!" Lily blinked. Bellatrix was so loud, surely the students of Hogwarts heard her from the dungeons. Even Rodolphus had backed away from his wife.

"She is MINE!" Snape didn't even flinch.

"Um, I hate to remind you but I am right here." Lily intervened. Despite their believes she would not be talked about like she was invisible.

Not one of the three Death Eater's even looked her way. Although, she was sure Snape's eyes had flickered towards her.

"I will be taking her to the Dark Lord" Bellatrix insisted again, grabbing Snape's full attention. Lily huffed and threw her hands up. Of course, no one noticed. She edged closer to her abandoned wand. Perhaps her 'weapon' wouldn't be needed.

"For the last time Bellatrix you are not responsible for her capture" Snape said nonplussed by Bellatrix's red face or angry features. Lily edged closer, only three feet away now.

"Actually-" Rodolphus jumped in but was stunned by Snape before he could even finish his thought.

"SNAPE!" Bellatrix screamed, but she didn't make a move to check on her husband. Lily snorted. Some marriage. She edged even closer. The two Death Eater's still hadn't noticed her movements. Lily smiled to herself.

"Oh shut up Bellatrix" Snape said, his eyes flickered toward Lily again. Lily froze. Surely he'd seen her. She'd been shuffling towards her wand again, she was caught she was sure of it. But to her surprise, Snape gave her a small eye twitch which she supposed was a wink and turned back to his fight with Bellatrix. Lily nearly fell over in surprise. He'd seen her alright. But he'd let her go. That's when it hit her.

Snape was fighting with Bellatrix on purpose, so she could get her wand. He must have taken out Rodolphus to help her as well. He was saving her. Again. Lily cleared her head. She'd worry about her ex-best friend later, right now she had to get out of here. Only a foot left. Half a foot. A little bit more She knelt to the ground and reached her hand out.

"Oi!" Bellatrix screamed pointing at an in-motion, very close to a powerful weapon Lily. Shit. Lily lunged the last few inches, steadying herself with a tree stump that had been a casualty in Rodolphus' rampage. Bellatrix pointed her wand to Lily, but Lily was faster.

As soon as her fingers clenched around her wand she pushed herself off of the tree trunk and swerved to land on her back, stunning Bellatrix in the process. She held her wand on Bellatrix's still form to make sure she was down before pushing herself up off the ground and turning her wand towards Snape. He nodded. Then he fell over. But she hadn't stunned him. Lily looked around surprised.

Then, a large spider emerged from the shadows.

"Run Lily Evans" Aragog said, before shuffling back into the darkness. Not all humans are bad. He'd discovered.

Lily looked at the three still Death Eater's surrounding her. It was the most innocent she'd ever seen them. She obliviated each of them in turn before taking a deep breath.

Then for the second time in a very short time, Lily ran. But this time she didn't get very far, because she wasn't two miles from the clearing when she ran into something very solid. Something with antlers.

James halfheartedly listened to Hestia's plan to find Lily. He still hadn't sat down, he was too busy pacing. But now he was pacing for an entirely different reason. No one had even noticed. Sirius was still sulking, as was Remus and Peter. Hestia was still planning and he was freaking out.

The piece of paper that he'd found in his pocket, was now clenched in his fist. It had to be him. Only he would send him a lifeline that was so utterly useless. Was it a joke? A prank to get his hopes up? Or did he actually think this was a helpful tip? No that wasn't it, Snape was no idiot. He had to know his tip was useless.

James unfolded the piece of paper for what must have been the thousandth time. The spindly words across the small strip still gave him chills. He hated that Snape could do that to him. He crumpled the paper in anger, only to smooth it out again and read it over. And over.

"That's when we'll-" Hestia started before noticing James' extreme pacing and lack of input on Lily's rescue.

"James?" she asked instead. He didn't even look at her. Hestia rose slowly from her chair and walked to where James was still staring at the small scrap of paper.

"James" she asked again, snapping her fingers in his face. James' face snapped to meet hers.

"What?" he asked half dazedly and half irritatedly. Hestia took a step back when she heard how broken he sounded.

"Are you okay?" she asked quietly. He nodded and stuffed the piece of paper back in his pocket.

"Fine" he said shortly. By now the others had noticed them and all had questioning looks on their faces.

"I'm fine!" he yelled loudly, throwing up his hands. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, right mate. Would you like to tell us what's wrong?" he said. James sighed. He knew he could never lie to Sirius .They knew each other too well.

"It's nothing" he attempted weakly. Sirius rolled his eyes again, walked to James and punched him in the arm. James looked shocked and rubbed the sore spot.

"That was for lying to us. Twice." he said "Now tell us what's is wrong" James pulled the note from his pocket reluctantly.

"It's just-" he began, but Hestia impatiently snatched the piece of paper from behind and slapped his hand when he reached for it.

"What the hell does _Act Normally_ mean." she asked looking up from the note. Sirius shrugged, Peter gave his normal confused look, and Remus stared at the ceiling. James sighed and grabbed back to the paper.

"I have no idea!" he said loudly, putting his head in his hands. Hestia bit her lip.

"Where did you get it?" she asked "You're obviously upset about it" James shrugged.

"I think it's from Snape. I just randomly found it in my pocket. And no Peter I didn't put it there" he said exasperatedly to Peter's open mouth. Remus snapped his fingers.

"That's what he was doing at breakfast!" he realized. James looked up and nodded excitedly. They were getting somewhere.

"So he obviously wanted you to get it" Remus continued. James nodded again.

"Enter the dead end" Sirius jumped in. "Why did he want you to see it and what does it mean?" James' head drooped again.

"A joke probably" he said, forlorn. Hestia shook her head vigorously.

"Snivellus has no sense of humor. At all." she said. The boys stared at her. She held up her hands in surrender.

"Long story" They nodded, too immersed in the current situation to worry about Hestia's answer.

"Let's start with what it means then" Remus said, sinking into a large arm chair and putting on what his friends called his 'thinking face'.

For the next half hour, the Marauders and Hestia thought. And thought. They thought about everything Lily had ever told them about Snape. They thought about what they did normally. They thought about what Lily did normally. And still nothing. It was two thirty in the afternoon when it him.

Remus gasped and ran out of the room quickly, pulling everyone else out of their deep thinking states. They stared at each other, confused.

"Wh-" Sirius broke the silence, but was interrupted by the arrival of a shocked and sad looking Remus holding a calender. But the calender itself was strange. It didn't go by months, but rather moon cycles. And today was circled in red. The Marauders each gasped in turn.

Peter last, as it took him longer to understand.

"No" Sirius breathed. Remus nodded.

"tonight" he said. James fell back into the couch. Somehow all four of them had forgotten the date. Even after the morning's events. And the fact that it was a full moon. And what they always did on the full moon. But surely Snape didn't mean that? He didn't know about that….did he?

Hestia stared from Remus to James to Sirius to Peter, utterly confused. They were doing that talk without really talking thing that made her mad to no end.

"What!" she asked angrily she hated being out of the loop. Remus snapped out of his daze and looked to her.

"We um….We er…." he stuttered, distraught.

"We had plans to leave tonight and come back tomorrow morning, and apparently Snape thinks we still should" Sirius lied easily. Remus nodded warily. That made sense. James blinked.

"Should you?" she asked quietly. Remus looked ready to fall apart, Sirius looked like he was about to murder someone, James looked guilty, and Peter looked like he didn't know how to look.

"I don't know" Remus choked out. He of course, had to go. But dragging the others with him? That could be dangerous. Sirius noticed Remus' distress and took charge.

"Hestia could you leave" he asked quickly. Hestia opened her mouth to protest but a sharp look and a gesture to Remus stopped her.

"Sure" she said, squeezing Remus' shoulder before leaving the common room. Sirius waited until he heard the large portrait close before turning to Remus and opening his mouth.

"You don't have to come" Remus said, holding up a hand to stop Sirius. James, looked up quickly.

"Like hell we don't!" he yelled. Surprising his friends. He jumped up and began using rapid hand gestures.

"Lily's out there!" he yelled again. Sirius sent him a glare, and a worried glance to Remus.

"No offense mate, but I'd like to be there" he finished, before slumping back into the chair, defeated. Sirius nodded.

"I'd like to be there as well" he said eying Remus warily. To his surprise Remus only nodded, before getting up and heading for the portrait. The boys gave him a questioning look. He shrugged in return.

"No Lily to help tonight" he answered before leaving.

So that night, they did as they were told for once. They acted normally. Peter, in rat form touched the knot. James and Sirius blocked Remus from all things dangerous. Nothing happened. James began to get discouraged. It was three hours later when a loud bark dragged him from his thoughts and nodded it's shaggy head towards a path between a few trees. The stag James nodded in return.

And so that's where they led the werewolf that was Remus. Which turned out to be a quite a large mistake. Because when James was hit by a very small person. A person that had such vibrant hair and eyes he was sure he was dreaming about. Because if he wasn't then this was going to turn into a nightmare.

In seconds.


	14. Just a Few More Seconds

**A:N/ Hi! So, 'As the Stag finds the Doe' is winding down! Now, I need some serious help from you as readers. I can keep going and make them hit another challenge or I can explain what happened to the big black dog and Remus. OR I can just end it right here. Any ideas? All of them are greatly appreciated! So this week it's REALLY important for you to review! Thanks for always being such great readers! **

***Special thanks to for her late night advice skype sessions! The story wouldn't be anything without you!**

_**Disclaimer- **_**As much as I wish it to be so, I am not J.K Rowling. Darn. **

Lily stared. It seemed it was all she could do lately. First a huge spider and now this? A random stag that she was next to certain was staring her down? Really?

"Oh Come _on!_" she screamed, throwing up her hands. The stag took a few steps back, surprised. It's eyes widened and its head snapped to look at the trees behind him.

"What?" Lily asked the stag, feeling ridiculous, when she noticed its sharp turn. The stag swiveled back around just as quickly to look at her.

Then it starting moving. Towards her. With its antlers out.

Lily stumbled backwards, one step, two steps, three, four, until she was pressed up against another tree. _Figures._

Normally, she wouldn't have moved but… its eyes. They were a deep hazel, like something she'd seen before but couldn't quite place, like a song stuck in her head.

But it wasn't their color that pushed her to move, it was the deep urgency the eyes held. Absolute terror mixed with determination, mixed with anticipation.

Well, that and the fact that it's antlers looked quite sharp.

And they were pointed at her stomach.

Lily watched, confused as the stag kept turning its head to glance at the space behind him, like the trees would come to life and eat them both.

But, he wasn't attacking. Is he _protecting me_? Lily asked herself.

"What" she repeated, though in a softer, less demanding tone. "Is going on?"

Her fear of the beast was rapidly decreasing. When the stag made no move to acknowledge her question, Lily again, began to feel ridiculous.

She was talking to a stag. A deer. An animal that couldn't talk. That was how far she had gone.

"Oh dear Merlin" she said, hanging her head, "I've gone bonkers" the stag didn't move an inch. Lily found herself, lost in its never ending eyes.

"And now" she exclaimed "I have hit rock bottom" The stag stayed still.

A loud rustling noise made Lily flinch and a sudden gust of cold air made her rap her arms around herself. She looked expectantly, waiting for the stag's next move. He made none.

Another rustle. Still, the stag did nothing.

Another noise. But this time, it wasn't just a rustle.

Somehow Lily expected it. Maybe it was the long string of near-death experiences. Maybe, it was the way the stag's muscles were tensed. Or maybe it was just common sense. Whatever it was, Lily wasn't surprised when a huge werewolf crashed into the clearing, taking down nearly all of the trees it hit with it.

Scared? Yes. Surprised? No.

Apparently, Lily noticed, the stag wasn't either. It seemed he, too, was expecting the worst.

Truly, the only person confused it seemed, was the wolf. It obviously hadn't expected to see Lily. It looked to the stag with a puzzled expression as though it didn't understand what was happening. For a moment he looked almost harmless.

Lily looked to the stag, then to the wolf, then back to the stag. Was this really happening? She escaped death eaters, befriended a giant spider, and now a werewolf? Somebody upstairs must _really_ hate her.

Suddenly it all hit her. Everything she'd done. Everything that'd happened to her. The exhaustion hit her hard and she began to feel dizzy and her body swayed.

Lily put one hand on a tree to steady herself, and one hand on her stomach. Breathing slowly, she tried to regain her balance.

Neither the stag nor the wolf noticed her slide slowly down the tree trunk. She felt queasy, dizzy, and her head was pounding. She clutched her head and looked to the two animals in front of her.

They seemed to be having a conversation through glares. Apparently, the stag wasn't happy. _My brain is going too!_ Lily thought, surely they aren't communicating. I'm mental.

A blast of pain hit Lily's forehead and she bit her tongue to keep from crying out, attracting attention from the very large beasts was probably not the best course of action, she decided.

The stag and the wolf continued to glare at each other, oblivious to Lily's pain.

Lily thought she was going to pass out. Which was the last thing she wanted to do, in front of her were two large animals that could kill her. Passing out? Bad idea.

Surely the werewolf would strike anytime, she knew that would happen. It wasn't the werewolf that bothered her, it was the stag.

She'd known that Remus would be out tonight. It was a full moon, or rather, the end of one. So, no she wasn't surprised when he jumped out of the trees ready to eat her. But the stag. It seemed almost…protective over her. It clearly had enough brains to stay around. A normal deer would have run at the mere noise the wolf had made, much less the sight of him.

Lily tried in vain to connect the dots between Remus and the stag, but her body was already fighting to stay awake, she couldn't handle deep thinking.

Then something changed. At first, Lily couldn't tell what it was, that is, until she realized that the animals had stopped their staring contest, and instead, started staring at her.

She didn't have the strength to speak. But she knew what was going to happen. She could see it in the werewolf's eyes. It wasn't confused anymore. Or scared. It was angry and maybe…hungry.

She saw the instinct to strike rise in its eyes. So she closed hers, what was the point of watching if she knew she would feel her death? She wished she were wrong.

But Lily Marie Evans was rarely wrong.

The werewolf charged deep eyes locked with Lily's closed eyelids. But she could feel its stare, and its warm breath on her face as it got closer and closer.

She refused to cry out as the werewolf flung her to the side. She refused to acknowledge the broken bones, and absolute pain that were now coursing through her body. She heard the stag cry out in anger.

Not today. Not again. She thought.

Lily painfully moved her leg. Then her arms. Then, pain and all, Lily Evans was standing, barely, but standing. It seemed the more pain she was in, the more determined she was. But that didn't mean she wasn't scared out of her bloody mind. That's why she didn't want to open her eyes. The painful seconds continued.

Lily was surprised when she finally did open her eyes. Because, while she was expecting to see the werewolf looking right at her, ready to hit again, and no stag at all, what she actually saw was quite different.

The stag was standing in the middle of the wolf's path to Lily and stopping him from hurting her any more than he already had.

Lily felt like death. And that's probably what she would have been if the stag hadn't stopped the werewolf.

Now they were having a stare down. Lily prayed to Merlin the stag won.

She looked to the sky, the moon was rapidly fading. If the stag could just keep Remus distracted for a few minutes, he'd transform. How she was going to get him out of the forest was beyond her but she figured she should focus on staying alive first.

She stared to the sky, then back to her watch. A few more minutes, one or two even. She glanced back to the stag and werewolf.

Their eyes were still locked. The stag's hoof pawed the ground warningly, and the werewolf's paw twitched back and forth.

Lily glanced back to the sky.

"Yes" she breathed before dropping to the ground and passing out.

The stag ran to her side in seconds, stopping the silent conversation it was having with the werewolf abruptly. Its eyes were filled with worry and it kept exchanging nervous glances with the wolf.

It seemed, the werewolf, was worried as well, as it began to move towards the limp girl.

But it didn't get two feet before the stag, with pure warning in his eyes, ran in front of him, antlers dangerously close to the wolf's heart. His message was clear. No way in hell was that wolf getting anywhere near the still girl.

The wolf backed off quickly, not even he would mess with the stag right now. When he was sure the wolf was no longer a threat, the stag began to pace, shaking its head every so often.

Lily and the werewolf started convulsing at the same time.

Lily's tiny body began shaking, while the werewolf's body was thrown all over in a spasm of changing body parts.

His hairy arms shortened and his legs straightened. He was becoming a man again. In less than five minutes, a tall, sick looking man with sandy blonde hair was laying in front of the stag staring worriedly at the quivering red-head.

"Did I-" the man said weakly to the deer. The deer did nothing. He trotted away from Lily and then he too, began changing. Though his looked much less painful.

Where the stag used to be, there stood another tall man, though this one had crazy black hair and round glasses. He too, looked worried.

"James did I-" Remus asked his friend again gesturing toward Lily's body. James looked nervously back and forth between his two hurt friends. Then he bit his lip and replied:

"Sort of-she-she was already really banged up mate" he said in a consoling tone, not wanting to lie, but not wanting to hurt his friend at the same time.

It didn't work.

"No" Remus groaned. "Please tell me she's not…"

James shook his head vigorously.

"No er- not yet anyway" he said quickly watching Remus' reaction carefully. Remus opened his mouth to say something but Lily chose that moment to start seizing.

Her entire body quaked with short spasms. Her head hit the ground repeatedly and her legs flew everywhere.

Remus stopped talking immediately and James fell to his knees at Lily's side.

"Wha- wha- what do I do?" he asked shakily, looking to Remus who had long been conceived as the 'smart marauder'.

But Remus was in no condition to be the 'smart marauder'. He was physically and mentally exhausted from his transformation.

"Keep her fro- from hurting herself" he said weakly, eyes fluttering. James did as he was told, kneeling over Lily and holding her arms and legs down (something she would never forgive him for if she were awake). James vaguely realized this was the closest they'd ever been. Not that it really mattered if she died.

"Bu-bu-but you have to get her out of here or she'll-"Remus couldn't even finish his thought before he too passed out.

Now James had two fainted, nearly dying friends, that needed medical attention in the middle of the forest and one of them was seizing. Brilliant. Bloody brilliant.

As James held Lily down he looked to sky.

"Dear God" he said. Normally he would have said 'Merlin' but 'God' was something he'd overheard Lily saying once in her room. At first, he'd thought she was sick, since she was kneeling by her bed but then she'd started thanking this 'God' for things like her Mom and Dad. She'd even mentioned him…along with the other marauders briefly and partly to ask for patience. It hadn't mattered; she'd said his name, which had still made his night.

Since it was for Lily, he assumed he should ask 'God' since it was her he was talking about.

"Lily's a great person and a great witch…if you know what that means" he started before shaking his head and continuing.

"I mean, she's super nice and really tough when she needs to be, but then all soft when she needs to be erm…soft" James was quickly losing the right words to say.

"Well, err she's always been the best person to be around, you know, she has a great laugh, and a good sense of humor" he plowed through his uncertainty.

"And I know I haven't made it easy on her, and she hasn't killed me yet, so she has patience and tolerance too" he looked back down to Lily's convulsing body tenderly.

"An-and I love her, so her dying right now would kind of suck" he said admitting at last what he'd known for so long.

"So could you please help her…if you can I guess. She of all people should be saved. Er…thanks"

He looked from Lily's body to the sky, to Lily again. Nothing happened. He sighed.

"Well that didn't wo-"

All of a sudden, Lily's seizing abruptly stopped. Her limbs stopped thrashing against his restraints and her head landed peacefully on the ground.

James looked up in wonderment. Apparently, Lily had the right idea.

He looked back down. His eyes scanned Lily's beaten form. Everywhere he could see, which was a lot considering the state of her clothes, was scraped, scratched, bruised, or broken. He hated that he couldn't help her, he felt so powerless.

His heart began to beat heavily as her eyes fluttered open.

"Ja-James?" She asked roughly looking up at the boy had been making her heart hurt- in a good way this time- for a while. He nodded, unabashedly crying.

"Te-Tell Remus…not his fault" she said weakly. James shushed her, urging her not to use up her limited energy.

"I will" he said through his tears, holding her close and rubbing her hair.

"You know I love you Lily" he said quietly, cringing, waiting for her reaction.

"Well I love you too James. Now will you stop being sappy and help me get the hell out of here? This place gives me the creeps." She said croakily. James laughed. He looked around, and what he saw almost made him laugh out loud.

A large black dog winked at him from the bushes and gave him a slight nod.

"Sure thing love" he said winking at her annoyed look, which quickly turned pained as he picked her up baby style and began walking from the clearing.

"Shut up James"


	15. The Supremacy of Pancakes

**A: N/ HAPPY SUPER BOWL SUNDAY! Thank you so much to everybody that answered my question and gave me ideas! They were all much appreciated. I think everybody who did wanted another chapter so here you go! I hope it's up to your standards! PLEASE REVIEW! It makes me so happy! I might dance a little if you do!**

**Disclaimer- Does J.K Rowling support the Patriots? Ehh… who knows. Even if she does, I'm still not her, nor do I claim to be.**

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><p>"<em>Shut up James"<em>

The large black dog chuckled loudly. Only Lily. The dog looked around quickly. Then he began to transform. In his place stood a handsome teenager with carelessly messy hair and deep gray eyes.

Sirius Black sighed. They'd found Lily. She was nearly mauled… but whatever, she was alive- if only barely.

His eyes fell to the sandy haired boy strewn at his feet. He sighed again. On a normal basis, Sirius kept up a careless facade, but he really did hate what the moon did to his friend. He was utterly powerless in the face of one damn day. His sigh turned to growl. Whenever he started this train of thought his mind always came to one place-or rather one name.

Fenrir Greyback.

Damn him.

He'd done this to his friend. He'd ruined Remus' life. It was ALL his fault. His growl grew louder. His eyes fell again to his fallen friend and the growl faded. Not the time, he thought.

He stared at the limp form of Remus Lupin. He crouched down to his level and surveyed the night's damage.

That night had been better than most- he hadn't attacked Lily on sight. That was progress. James and Sirius had been working to help Remus learn what they called "Werewolf Etiquette".

He'd seemed particularly mellow before they'd found Lily. That didn't mean he hadn't scratched and clawed at himself, Sirius noted.

His body was covered with long scratches and gashes. Sirius shook his head. The morning after was always the worst. Having to see Remus transform was bad enough- but seeing him in so much pain and the way he seemed embarrassed about it was even worse.

"Time to get you out of here" Sirius muttered to himself, planning how to get him out.

"You know Padfoot- talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity" a weak voice said.

Sirius jumped.

"Moony!" he exclaimed loudly looking down to see an exhausted looking Remus with his eyes open. Remus snorted.

"No it's Merlin." He deadpanned, but flinched with pain. Sirius' face broke out into a large smile.

"Remmy Poo! So glad to see you awake! Talking to myself is so boring. All Sirius does is talk about himself!" Sirius said brightly. Remus rolled his eyes.

"That Sirius can be very annoying can't he?" he said hoarsely, struggling to push himself up off the ground.

Sirius pushed him gently back down- careful to avoid any particularly large wounds.

"Hey guess what!" Sirius suddenly said excitedly. Remus, used his friends random change of topics, rolled and eyes and played along

"What?"

"They finally got together!" Sirius screamed, feeling no need to explain who 'they' were. Remus' eyes widened.

"Seriously?" he said- then immediately regretted it

"Of course I'm alwa-. You know what that one was too easy; I'll wait for the next one!" Sirius said happily. Remus sighed in relief. Then he rolled his eyes.

"About time! Only took them death eaters and a werewolf!" he remarked sarcastically. Sirius nodded eagerly.

"I know right! If we'd known that we could've gotten Snivellus out here on a full moon and we'd be good!" Sirius jokingly threw up his hands. Remus glared at him.

"If I remember correctly you already tried that" he said gravely. Sirius immediately looked guilty and Remus felt bad for bringing it up.

"Yeah- I guess I was daft then" he said awkwardly. Remus nodded.

"Erm Sirius, I don't mean to be rude but can we get out of here, this is really uncomfortable" he said roughly, gesturing toward his current position.

The entire conversation had been painful for him and he was ready for his usual morning-after transformation hospital bed.

Sirius' eyes widened in realization.

"Oh sorry mate! Of course!" he said quickly whipping out his wand and conjuring a stretcher. Remus hated the way his friends looked at him with pity after his transformation. Of course when he asked them to stop, they tried to act natural. Tried being the operative word.

"Wingardium Leviosa" Remus was lifted into the air by Sirius' charm and landed on the stretcher.

"Thanks" Remus said adjusting himself painfully. Sirius nodded once before levitating the stretcher.

"Let's go" Sirius deadpanned, before skipping out of the clearing. Remus rolled his eyes as his stretcher trailed behind his friend.

"Padfoot" Remus muttered under his breath.

"What was that Remmy Poo, are you commenting on my extreme sexiness?" Sirius sang, mockingly holding his hand to his ear and stopping abruptly. Remus rolled his eyes.

"Oh nothing dear Siri, I was just having a conversation with the other Sirius. You're most certainly right- he is a tad full of himself. Sirius' mouth widened in fake horror.

"That GIT!" he screamed, faking outrage. Remus nodded along.

"I couldn't agree more" he said winking. Sirius nodded resolutely.

"So then it's decided. Pancakes are better than waffles" he declared. Remus gave him a curious look.

"Was there ever a question?" he asked jokingly.

"Didn't you hear? The supremacy of pancakes was questioned the other day by a Slytherin no less!" he yelped. Remus' jaw dropped.

"No!" he gasped, Sirius nodded. He clutched his chest.

"Say it isn't so!" he breathed. Sirius wiped away an imaginary tear.

"Bollocks, what the hell is wrong with the world? Everybody knows pancakes are much better!" Remus shouted. Sirius nodded. Remus suddenly dropped the act.

"Okay, I indulged your lunacy, time for a real conversation. Sirius looked frightened, but nodded. Remus glared at the back of his head seriously.

"In a choice between a hippogriff and a unicorn which do you choose?" Sirius giggled then deadpanned.

"Hippogriff. Every time. I always have this strange dream- where I leave Hogwarts on a Hippogriff" Remus nodded.

"I see." Remus said "And how do you feel about that?" he asked in an imitation of a muggle movie Lily had made them watch. Sirius laughed.

"Like a dog" he answered tonelessly before breaking down in raucous laughter.

"You're such a phsycherpist" he said through his laughter.

"Psychiatrist, Sirius. Its psychiatrist" Remus rolled his eyes and painfully laughed too, before it quickly turned into a cough. Sirius sobered immediately.

"Are you okay?" Remus nodded his head fiercely. Sirius snuck a small smile.

"You know you're really fun when you're completely bonkers after a full moon" Remus glared at him.

"Good to know" he croaked- he was loosing his voice. Sirius nodded happily.

"But tomorrow you'll be all 'Bloody hell Padfoot why are we talking about that shit?' and I'll be all like 'because we can dear Moony'" Remus stared at him.

"Have you taken something tonight?" he asked. Sirius shook his head.

"I'm naturally like this!" he exclaimed. Remus nodded.

"Okayyyy then. Where are we?" Remus asked craning his head to look around them. All he could see was the green of the trees.

"Erm." Sirius said guiltily. "Close?" he said hopefully. Remus rolled his eyes.

"Really Padfoot. Really? Are we lost?" Sirius waved the notion off with his hand.

"Of course no-" Sirius stopped mid sentence. A loud voice had interrupted him.

"I LOVE JAMES POTTER!" the voice of Lily Evans blasted through the trees. The boys looked at each other and simultaneously they began laughing hysterically.

"I would say were close" Sirius managed through his peals of dog-like laughter. The kept walking and talking about the most random of things.

"Okay so bacon or ha-" this time Remus was cut off.

They'd walked strait into the middle of a full-blown battle.

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><p>James rolled his eyes. This was taking forever. His eyes fell to a struggling Lily and he sighed.<p>

"Lils really-" He started, but stopped when he received a fierce glare.

"I can do this James" Lily hissed between gritted teeth. James rolled his eyes.

They'd had to stop every few minutes so that Lily could try to walk on her own. It wasn't working. She'd broken one of her legs and rolled the other ankle. But she was just so damn stubborn.

Lily hesitantly took a few steps before her legs gave out and she started to fall. James rolled his eyes again and stepped forward to catch her by her arms. Again. Lily huffed and blew a strand of hair from her eyes.

"Thanks" she mumbled under her breath. James nodded but didn't let go.

"I'm no medi-wizard but Lily will you please just let me carry you!" he asked exasperatedly. Lily sighed.

"I can't be weak" she said softly. James craned her neck to look at her with wide eyes.

"What?" he said slowly. Lily huffed.

"I can't be weak. It makes me scared when I feel…powerless" she said with the air of someone who normally didn't talk about themselves. James nodded.

"Well you don't have to worry about it" he said firmly. Lily looked at him, surprised.

"What do you mean?" she asked quickly. James' eyes bored into hers.

"You'll never be weak. Never have been" he said before turning red and looking away. Lily felt tears spring to her eyes. She pulled James' face down so she could see it.

"You can carry me James" she said softly before raising her head and kissing him on the cheek.

James' face burned but a wide grin split across his face as he leaned down to lift her up. Lily grimaced uncomfortably as James gently hoisted her up.

'Hey James?" she asked. James glanced at her.

"Yeah?" he asked, concerned.

"Why aren't you just levitating me?" she said curiously. James gave her his signature smirk.

"Love, this is the closest I've ever been to you. Do you honestly I'll waste this opportunity?" he said. Lily giggled.

"Good. I don't think I trust your wand. But I most certainly trust you" James chuckled, and then his eyes widened when he realized what she'd said.

"So err- Lily did you mean what you said?" he asked nervously. Lily looked at him then shifted her position.

"Of course I trust you James, you just saved my life" she said, avoiding the question she knew James was truly asking. James sighed.

"No I mean about the umm when you err. When you said you loved me" he said quickly, then closed his eyes tight, waiting for the bombshell. Lily hesitated, James sighed again.

"It's ok-"

"Yes" Lily cut him off. James looked at her surprised.

"Wait wha-" he started again, but Lily cut him off again:

"Yes James. I meant it when I said I loved you" she said softly. James looked down at her again, even more surprised. Then his face broke out into the biggest smile Lily had ever seen.

"SUCCESS!" he screamed. Lily started then slapped James on the arm

"shhhhhh!" she hissed looking around worriedly. James rolled his eyes.

"Lils were in the middle of the forbidden forest there no one to hear us" he reminded her, with the goofy grin still on his face. Lily huffed and tried to cross her arms- but it was too painful. James immediately sobered.

"I'd fix it but I'd probably make you lose all the bones in your arm or something" he said, trying to lighten the mood.

"What idiot would do that?" she asked through giggles. James shrugged, pulling Lily's body up with him. Lily shifted to look into James' eyes.

"I love your eyes" she said abruptly, before promptly turning beet red and covering her face with her even redder hair. She could feel James chuckle loudly against her.

"Thank you love, I quite like your eyes as well" he answered gazing straight into her eyes. Lily giggled.

"Sorry I've just been waiting a while to say that" she said quietly. James gasped and rolled his eyes.

"Well why did you wait?" he asked, dramatically. Lily gave a weak shrug.

"I was um…scared" she answered softly. James rolled his eyes again.

"Bloody stubborn is more like it" he muttered. Lily gave him a feeble slap.

"Shut up James" she mumbled before resolutely looking away.

"Oh Lily-flower you know it's the truth!" he laughed loudly. Lily sighed.

"Well maybe a little bit of both" she answered. James chuckled and gave her a soft hug.

"You mean a lot of both. When did your mind finally change?" he asked curiously. Lily gulped.

"Well a while ago I was walking down the hallway and I saw this Slytherin bullying a little first year Hufflepuff" she started. James nodded for her to continue.

"Well, I was about the go tell him off…but someone beat me to it" she said looking up at him. James nodded again, remembering that day clearly.

"And, you well, you pushed him against the wall, made sure the first year was okay, and I was going to come tell you to not hurt the Slytherin, but you let him go before I could" she continued staring at the rapidly lightening sky. The trees around her formed a gorgeous green frame around the pink tinged sunrise.

"Then you told him that you knew from experience that bullying doesn't get you anywhere, and it certainly doesn't get you girls- at least the ones that matter" her eyes found him again. James gave her a confused look and said:

"But, Lily that Slytherin tortured the next first year he saw" he said, puzzled. Lily gave a light laugh.

"Well yes, but he was a Slytherin. It was the speech that mattered. It meant that you really had changed" Lily looked down embarrassedly and said:

"I guess from then on I just sort of…fancied you" she said quietly. James bit his lip thoughtfully.

"I LOVE YOU LILY EVANS!" he screamed suddenly, causing Lily to start painfully. Lily looked at him, irritated.

"James!" she hissed.

"What was that for?" James gave her an exasperated look.

"I was validating our love!" he said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Lily clearly did not agree.

"Now you!" he said happily nudging her. Lily shook her head and glared at him.

"No."

"Yes!"

"No."

"YES!"

"Fine!" Lily whispered angrily. She looked around herself quickly.

"I love James Potter" she said slightly louder than usual. James shook his head.

"Nope. Not loud enough" Lily huffed and rolled her eyes.

"I love James Potter" she said again, only a little louder than last time. James shook his head again. Lily sighed and rolled her eyes again.

"I LOVE JAMES POTTER!" she screamed louder than even James had, making James jump. She looked around again, noted that they were close to the end of the forest and cursed. Surely someone had heard her.

"Much better" he said approvingly. Lily rolled her eyes yet again.

"Is our love validated yet?" she asked dramatically. James nodded and opened his mouth but never got to answer because someone else did for him:

"Oh look, how cute, the little mudblood is in love!"


	16. Life Sucks and then You Die

**A:N/ Alrighty- O! I know it's late Sunday- which is not the norm for my updates but to be honest- you guys are lucky it's up here on time at all! I've been at my friend's house this weekend with no wifi on her laptop, so I wrote this chapter prepared to flash-drive it. Then we found a computer that did have internet. SO I spent the next two hours re-typing/editing. So it better be REALLY good.**

**REVIEW PLEASE! I really need your help! And answer the poll I put up- it will impact this story greatly.**

**Thanks for your patience- enjoy this chapter!**

**Disclaimer- I'll bet J.K Rowling never loses WiFi.**

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><p><em>"Oh look, how cute, the little mudblood is in love!"<em>

Lily let her neck fall back as she looked to the sky.

"REALLY!" she screamed, making James and their current…company jump. They each looked to her the universal 'what the hell?' look. Taking no notice, she continued to glare at the sky.

"ARE YOU BLOODY KIDDING ME!" she continued, unconcerned with the strange looks she was getting.

"I DEALT WITH THE DAMN DEATH EATERS THE HUGE SPIDER AND THE BLOODY WEREWOLF AND NOW **THIS**!" James tightened his grip on her as if that would make her stop.

"LIFE SUCKS AND THEN YOU DIE!" she continued before abruptly stopping. Her head snapped up to glare at the new arrivals.

"Put me down James" she said quietly so only he could hear. James looked at her.

"No." he said raising his eyes to avoid looking at her and squeezing her tightly. Lily lifted her hand and guided his face down to look at her.

"Please James" she said pleadingly. James melted, nodding; he gently put her to her foot. Immediately she began to sway, James caught her and watched her sadly.

Lily took a deep breath, then taking her wand, did the spell she'd been too afraid to try before.

"Episky" Lily raised her head and shook her newly healed leg. James gazed at her, praying that she'd done it right.

The fire in Lily's eyes ignited. She raised her wand and pointed it to the face of Lucius Malfoy.

"I swear to God or Merlin or Buddha whoever the _hell_ is listening that I will kill you if you even _try _a move" Her glare was so strong that even James slid back from her, but not before raising his wand and aiming it at the same place Lily's was. Lucius' eyes widened and his mouth opened a little at the forcefulness of Lily's demand.

"Oh and the rest of you can come out. Who do you think you're fooling? Lucius is too much of a bloody wimp to even consider stopping us alone. That and you really suck at the whole not stepping on branches thing. Have you _ever _seen a horror movie? Of course not that's _mudbloody._ "She ranted. James looked at her incredulously.

"Mudbloody?" he chuckled. Lily glared at him. Now was so not the time. Even now, ten more Death Eaters had joined Lucius, making his smirk grow much wider and James' to shrink.

"Worried yet?" Lily asked with a fake attempt at a chuckle. James didn't notice- all of his attention was on a very angry looking Severus Snape.

"Lily?" James said, not taking his eyes of Snape. Lily turned to him and nodded.

"I love you" he said, forcing himself to look into Lily's bright green eyes, but he could feel the glare of Snape on his back. Tears sprang to Lily's eyes.

"I love you too" she said, cupping his face in her hands.

"In case I don't get to see you ever again-" James said before grabbing Lily by the waist and planting a kiss on her lips. Lily gasped.

At first Lily was going to push him off and tell him this was neither the time nor the place, but she couldn't. It was a breathtaking kiss. His lips tasted like tangerines. Lily hated tangerines. But after tasting it on James, she thought she might try them again. Her hands clasped immediately around his neck and his arm pulled her off her feet. As their mouths moved together, Lily forgot everything. She forgot that her leg still hurt from her make-shift episky spell and that there were over twenty death eaters now staring her in the face ready to kill her as she kissed the guy she'd sworn to hate.

As Lily struggled to keep the kiss going, she began to hate the human need for oxygen.

As James reluctantly broke the kiss, he felt a jolt of happiness at the crestfallen look on Snape's face. The old James would have jeered at him, but the new James, the one Lily had made, felt a second pang of sympathy.

But that sympathy faded as soon as he saw Snape's face harden in anger and watched him raise his wand towards his heart.

James abruptly realized that he was still holding Lily three inches of the ground, but she hadn't seemed to notice. Honestly, she looked like she was in la la loopsy land. James felt a rush of pride at making her feel like that. He'd only imagined that he could make her feel that way.

Of course, she was Lily Evans, so she wasn't that way for long. As soon as it had started, the loopy phase passed and Lily was once again, hardcore and furious.

During their extended kiss, the Death Eaters had formed a circle around the couple, brandishing their wands and taking the time to make their faces extra menacing.

"Let's kick some arse" Lily said before throwing a stunner at Rodolphus Lestrange. Her spell hit its surprised mark and Lestrange fell backwards into a tree.

James looked to Lily nodded, and then he too sent a stunner- only this one to Severus Snape. Snape easily deflected it and with a murderous look in his eyes, he began to duel James with a fervor James had never seen before.

He was mad to say the least.

While James did his best to fight off Snape, Lily was picking off the other Death Eaters one by one.

Some were just stupid enough to turn their backs to her, others underestimated her, and most just weren't powerful enough to take on the wrath of Lily Evans. She was a ball of fire. Pure energy, pure magic. As she moved in circles taking out everyone in her path, even if they were three times her size. She used every spell she knew, causing many people to erupt in crazy forms of boils or gain weird attachments. Many times she used Snape's spells.

But she never aimed to kill.

She absolutely refused to stoop to the levels of the people she was fighting. Put in emergency care? Hell yes. Kill? Absolutely not.

Lily stopped moving. The wind circled her like in a whirlwind. Despite her efforts, she was still outnumbered by seven to one, not counting Snape who looked to be on the warpath with James.

Lily was still mad. But now she was even more tired than she was when she'd started, which was a real accomplishment. And she was still screwed. James was clearly occupied- She'd definitely have to deal with that if she didn't die right now. Seven wands were pointed at her face.

What now?

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><p>Severus Snape was seething. James was kissing Lily. His Lily.<p>

His Lily was kissing the one person she promised she'd never like.

His eyes were burning at the sight, but he couldn't move them he watched as Lily responded to the kiss with such passion, even he was surprised.

They weren't even supposed to like each other.

Sure James had always fancied Lily, but she'd never acknowledged it, as far as he knew she'd still hated him when the Death Eaters had taken her.

It was all his fault. He'd basically told James how to find her with that note. She was in love with her here.

No not love- infatuation.

Snape found that the idea of Lily's infatuation with James Potter was much easier to consider than her love of him.

It was clearly infatuation with her savior.

But shouldn't that be him? Wasn't he the one who'd set her free? Wasn't he the one who'd fought with Bellatrix just to save her? Where was Potter then?

Then again.

Wasn't he part of what got her there in the first place?

He missed her. That's what it all came down to. He missed their secret smiles. Her cheeky smirk. Their conversations through significant their own kind of Morse code in Potions. When her cheeks turned as red as her hair. When she called him 'Sev'.

Snape sighed.

Maybe this was all his fault.

Now it wasn't. It was James Potter's fault.

He'd bewitched Lily. He'd turned her against him that day by the lake. She wouldn't hate him if he hadn't been provoked into saying that word.

Yes, it was all James Potter's fault.

So clearly the best course of action was to eliminate James Potter.

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><p>Sirius and Remus had seen the whole thing…or most of it. And more.<p>

They watched in awe as Lily and James, back to back, began fending themselves.

Never had they seen a couple more perfectly in sync. Or an angrier Snape.

As Lily blasted through Death Eaters left and right, even they were scared by the intimidating look she held on her face.

James' expression wasn't pleasing either. Clearly he was disgusted, but he also looked…pained. That and angry. Really angry. Like- Lily just turned me down again but times three, angry.

But they were being beaten. Even though they didn't want to admit it, Remus and Sirius knew their friends were outnumbered and losing.

And they were about to be losing by even more.

Usually, as soon as Sirius and Remus saw a battle they jumped in. And they would have…had they not been surrounded in a quite literal circle by a very large snake.

And with this particular snake, something much worse always came with it.

Mesmerized by the scene in front of them, a standing Sirius, and floating Remus, hadn't noticed the snake slither up to them.

It wasn't until the slimy creature had rubbed up against Sirius' leg that Sirius acknowledged it's presence with a high pitched squeak, causing him to nearly stop levitating Remus. This obviously got Remus' attention fairly quickly.

The snake stopped slithering and stayed dangerously still for the next couple of minutes.

The boys didn't dare make a move. Both were at a loss for words- which didn't happen of then for the Marauders. Sirius, as always, was the first to slice through the thick tension.

"Guess we won't be charging into battle" he murmured quietly to Remus who gave him an incredulous look.

"And how exactly, was I planning to charge into battle on a stretcher?" he said weakly. Sirius nodded thoughtfully, glad that their voices were overriding the angry hisses from the snake.

"You know what the snake means right?" Remus said fearfully. Sirius gave him a half jerk of the head, a nod to say he understood but didn't want to.

"How do we handle this? How do we warn them?" Sirius asked in a tone he reserves specifically for danger.

"I-I-I don't know" Remus replied, brain working through every possible outcome of every possible move they could make.

None of them ended very well.

"Well we can't just leave them! Voldemort is here! "Sirius screamed, gesturing to the snake.

The snake hissed angrily and snapped at Sirius' heels at the sound of its master's name.

Sirius jumped and suddenly remembered his parents calling it Nagini.

"Shut up Sirius, we can't do squat if were snake food!" Remus whispered, casting a nervous glance at Nagini.

Sirius had never been so quiet or so still for so long since he was six when his parents had stuck him to a chair and silenced him. Then forgotten him for a day and a half.

He felt helpless.

And he didn't like it.

"Well we can't just sit here!" Sirius hissed angrily. Remus rolled his eyes.

"Well Merlin Sirius, here I was thinking we'd just feed ourselves to the damn snake!" he said sarcastically. Sirius huffed and threw his arms up.

"Well it feels like it is all were doing" he muttered.

Remus rolled his eyes again then looked to the snake thoughtfully. Sirius took one look at Remus' expression and said

"We can't trick her" Remus glanced at him.

"She's Voldemort's pet; do you honestly think he hasn't trained her against everything we could possibly throw at her?"

Remus nodded in understanding. Then a familiar spark in his eyes lit up. Sirius looked at him eagerly.

"Wait- I know that look- that's your 'I'm the smart Marauder and I have an idea' look!" he yelped happily then mentally kicked himself for his volume and sent a wary look Nagini's way.

The snake hissed again but didn't make a move.

"What's the one thing Voldemort won't have thought of?" Remus whispered urgently. Sirius gave him a clueless look. Remus huffed.

"Sirius that git has no idea you're an animagus, you can confuse the snake and get of here to go get help!" he said as if it were obvious.

Sirius' grin widened, and then faded just as quickly.

"Remus if I transform you're bed thingy will fall and you can't walk or defend yourself" he whispered, defeated. Remus rolled his eyes.

"And if you don't, I'll need a hell of a lot more than a stretcher. And Lily and James will need gravestones" he hissed, mad at his friend's sudden worries.

Sirius felt trapped. If he transformed he'd be leaving Remus defenseless after his own transformation, and if he didn't then his other friends would die...

It was an impossible decision and he had to make it.

Sirius turned to look at Remus with sad eyes.

"Fine." Remus nodded and braced himself. Slowly, Sirius lowered Remus until his stretcher touched the dirt.

Sirius and Remus shared a look. A look that said good-bye. A look that said be careful. A look that said we're brothers- I'll miss you.

Then Sirius transformed.

In his place stood a large black dog. The snake look at him, confused. It had never encountered a dog-man. What now?

So it followed its natural animal instincts.

As soon as the dog that was Sirius began to run, the snake shot into the night the same direction the dog had gone.

This of course, left Remus completely open to run. Or it would- if he weren't an exhausted werewolf.

So he stayed where he was.

Trying desperately to stand up.

Trying desperately to do anything actually.

And praying to Merlin that dogs were faster than snakes.


	17. Burn in Hell Mudblood

**A:N/ So apparently you didn't read my last author's note since a whopping 2 people answered my poll.**

**Thank you if you did! I REALLY need help with this! PLEAE PLEASE PLEASE. I am begging you right now. **_**Begging. **_

**I tried to get this one out a little bit earlier than last time- I hope you like it! I don't think it's my best but…let's hope you do!**

**REVIEW PLEASE! (Begging again)**

**And yes. I do have an obsession with cliff hangers. Just a warning.**

**Disclaimer- J.K Rowling doesn't have a huge History Test coming up does she? Didn't think so. **

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><p>Lily was a brilliant witch. With that, there was no question.<p>

But not even Merlin himself could get himself out of the position she was in.

Anyone besides Merlin would be dead.

Lily glanced over at James. He wasn't exactly in the best situation either.

She'd never seen such rapid fury in her ex-best friend. She couldn't fathom why he seemed to be going out of his way to kill James.

Maybe Hestia had been right.

She'd always told Lily Snape had a crush on her, was that why he was doing this?

But when Lily thought of the word crush, she saw little kids holding hands, or cheesy Valentine's Day cards in primary school.

_Those _were crushes.

Lily defined a crush as liking someone without knowing who that person actually was. Maybe they had nice hair- or a hot body…but a crush definitely was not something to kill over.

But love was.

No. Lily thought. He most certainly is NOT in love with me. She reassured herself. He wouldn't have called me that word.

_Then why is he trying to out your new boyfriend_? The pessimist on her shoulder asked. Lily blinked rapidly. She'd have to come to the truth eventually.

But maybe she'd do it when she wasn't about to die.

Of course, lately, being safe was wishful thinking.

Lily's attention was forcibly brought out of her daze when one of her attackers started laughing.

"Nowhere to go now little mudblood!" Bellatrix cackled.

James saw it immediately. That spark in Lilly's eyes. The one that told you she was about to kick your arse. It was that spark that always told him to run. Apparently the Death Eaters didn't get that memo.

They were so dead.

So he laughed.

Laughing. Really? Lily thought. But there was someone else laughing too- James. Lily whipped her head to see him body -binded and being chained to a tree.

What is it with these guys and tying people to trees? Was Lily's first thought. Her second was

Why is James laughing like a madman?

And he was- quite loudly to add effect.

Lily wasn't the only one who noticed either. As soon as he'd started seven heads swiveled to look at him. All of them giving him the 'what the hell?' look.

"You guys are so daft!" he breathed through raucous laughs. Bellatrix's glare could've blasted through steel.

But apparently not James Potter. James continued to laugh, ignoring the glares and strange looks he was receiving.

"I mean this is why she keeps kicking your arses!" he giggled.

Eight pairs of eyes flashed to Lily. Lily shrugged innocently.

"Come on guys" James said in a false disbelieving tone.

Six people looked at him in confusion.

Two people looked at him with hate.

And one person looked at him with love. And fear. If James pissed these people off- they'd kill him in a heartbeat.

"Okay. Fine. I'll spell it out for you." James said, as though he were talking to a two year old.

"You corner her. There's like a bazillion of you and one of her." He said, nodding every so often. Lily rolled her eyes. Then she prayed for the thousandth time.

This was so James. Please don 't let him die.

"Then you say something stupid like 'nowhere to go now little insert nasty word here' and you piss her off!"

After that Lily was pretty sure she heard Bellatrix growl.

"Haven't you learned yet? You NEVER piss off Lily Evans!" he continued laughing.

The Death Eaters shared glances nervously.

The mudblood _had _escaped them many times already. Maybe this was why.

Come to think of it- red heads always had been fiery," a death eater called Crabbe thought. Then a thought clicked in his head. Fire.

"Well if that's true, why aren't we dead?" Crabbe asked, twirling his wand between his fingers.

Lily eyed him warily- Crabbe was positively daft- he was a ticking time bomb with a wand.

Bellatrix turned her glare from James to Crabbe. No way should he be talking. This was her time to shine.

James caught a glint in her eye too- but it wasn't strength or power- it was malice.

"Vincent back up" she said through clenched teeth. Crabbe's pudgy face screwed up as though it was a tough decision. When he didn't move, Bellatrix's glare hardened.

"Crabbe back up" she hissed again. But Crabbe didn't move. Instead he opened his large mouth dramatically and bellowed:

"I can kill the mudblood!" and brandishing his wand high in the air he summoned something that was so dangerous and powerful that even Bellatrix took a step back.

Fiendfyre.

"YOU IDIOT!" Bellatrix screeched before promptly running away, but not before turning to Lily and saying:

"Burn mudblood"

Every other Death Eater followed her.

Well- almost every single one.

James had stopped laughing and was now pushing away the abandoned chains.

Lily stared at the fire with wide eyes. She knew what it was and what it could do.

She had to get to James. Now.

"Lily!" she heard a worried voice call out. Assuming it was James, she followed it, barely avoiding the rapidly growing flames.

"Ja-" She started when she'd found the person who'd called her name in an area behind quite a few old trees that seemed to be protected from the fire.

Only problem? It wasn't James.

Where, as far as Lily was concerned James should be, stood Severus Snape.

Lily's worried gaze hardened.

"Get away from me" she fumed.

She was sure if she were a cartoon-she'd have smoke billowing out from her ears.

"Lily wait!" Snape said urgently. Lily whipped her head around.

"Wait for what? My boyfriend to die?" Lily yelled. She watched as he visibly cringed at the word 'boyfriend'.

"That's what he is Snivellus. My boyfriend. You know the person you just tried to kill?" Lily said in a manic rush.

Snape just stared, stunned and hurt. Lily's gaze suddenly lightened.

"I love him Sev." She said gently.

Snape stood up straight and glared at her.

"Burn in hell mudblood." He spat.

Lily felt tears rise to her eyes as she watched the shape of her old friend slide into the trees.

"Toughen up girl. He doesn't deserve tears," she whispered to herself before running back into the fire to save the one who did.

* * *

><p>Tears were stinging Severus Snape's cheeks, but he didn't care.<p>

"_I love him Sev"_

Replayed in his head over and over and over again.

..Love

She'd used the _L _word.

Of course she'd used it before, but only for things like:

"_I love you Sev but your friends are creepy" _or _"You're hilarious Sev of course I love you, you're my best friend"_

She'd never used like she had for James Potter.

James Potter.

He hadn't even succeeded in killing one measly Marauder.

Damn Crabbe.

That idiot was always doing daft things that just made everything worse.

Fiendfyre? Really? W hat idiot would unleash Fiendfyre- in a forest?

Crabbe that's who.

Merlin he hated this! They would've had her- of course he could have saved her again- he'd have killed James so that wouldn't be an issue- and she'd fall in love with her savior.

What part of that plan was so hard?

"_I love him Sev" _The voice of Lily inside his head reminded him. Then his own voice:

"_Burn in hell mudblood"_

She'd used his nickname. He'd used _that_ word. Again.

Snape lashed out with his hand, forgetting his wand, successfully breaking the branch…and his hand.

He waved it around for a moment until it went numb from swelling. He raised his wand to fix it but stopped-

I deserve this, he thought.

He didn't know why, he didn't have those kind of morals; he just felt he needed the pain.

Maybe to distract him from the loss of Lily, maybe so he could complain about it later. Who knows? He didn't care.

And so, Snape kept running.

And as his hand continued to throb- so did his heart.

* * *

><p>Sirius ran.<p>

He ran like he'd never run before.

He could hear the leaves and branches rustle and crinkle as the snake shot after him.

He had to beat it. He just had to.

The only thing running through his mind besides 'shit there's a snake after me' was the place he'd left James and Lily in.

And Remus.

He'd left Lily at wand-point, James facing the fury of Snivellus and Remus alone after a full moon.

Well he was a sucky friend.

But what could he do?

Where the snake was- a bigger monster was. He had to get help from the only person who could help.

Dumbledore.

Wasn't he the only person Voldemort had ever been afraid of?

Therefore he was the only one who could help.

That is, if they weren't dead when he got there.

Luckily, the Death Eaters had positioned themselves in the worst possible place for an ambush.

A mile away from Hogwarts.

Sirius tried to track his project, but it was too hard, so he went back to watching the ground disappear beneath his paws.

Jump. Swerve. Jump.

Just go straight. Just go straight.

It seemed like a simple thing- just going straight. How hard could it be?

But let's be honest.

Nothing was simple now.

So of course, in no time, Sirius was lost.

Great. Add to the list of problems that was constantly growing.

Obviously- Sirius didn't know he was lost because he was too busy running from the very large snake chasing him.

It was only when Sirius braved a few seconds of rest to get his bearings that he realized he couldn't hear the snake's movements anymore.

And being a dog, his hearing was extremely acute.

Was it possible that he'd actually lost Nagini?

Sirius banished the thought almost immediately. No way did he lose _Voldemort's _pet. It must know something he didn't.

But what?

Then it hit him. No lights. No smoke. No sound. Which meant-

No Hogwarts.

Surely if he was in the correct direction he'd have at least seen some kind of sign of Hogwarts by now.

But he hadn't.

Sirius turned in a circle, eyeing his surroundings. He was circled by trees- per usual for the Forbidden Forest. But these trees were different, they seemed…younger than the others.

Sirius figured he must be at least near the castle if the trees were young. But the age wasn't the only weird thing about the trees- they were also covered in some kind of plant like Kudzu (A muggle vine Lily had explained to him in excruciating detail) only it seemed to be writhing.

Sirius never paid much attention in Herbology but at the moment he wished he did. The fact that he- in a way had the mind of a dog right now didn't help. If he only knew what kind of plant the dark tentacle like thing was, he might know where he was.

Suddenly, Sirius felt something on his hind legs. When he looked down his eyes nearly popped out of his head.

One of the plant's tentacles had encircled his leg and was now squeezing it as hard as possible.

Sirius let out a loud bark and began thrashing against it. But he couldn't break free, and before he knew it, not only his arms, but his entire body was being squeezed.

The harder he fought, the tighter the plant got around him. He tried desperately to remember something, anything, from Herbology class.

Nothing.

Well this is what I get for not paying attention in class. Sirius thought. Too bad I'll die before Remus can say 'I told you so'.

He thought about Remus, alone and in pain.

He thought about Lily fighting for her life.

He thought about James who'd finally won the love of his life- only to have it so rudely take away.

He let out one last fading bark before the slimy tentacles clasped around his neck and began strangling him.

The world went dizzy and Sirius' sharp dog vision blurred. His head throbbed and his legs were going numb.

He was fainting.

The last thing he saw was a bright light and then-

Nothing.


	18. How Cliché

**A:N/ Okay guys. My latest ever yes I know. I was at an LYO (Lutheran Youth Organization) youth church trip ALL weekend and just got back today. Which left me with no computer which left me with a little bit of writing and no way to finish it. So yes I did work very hard to finish this on time. Therefore it's probably not my best work and there are probably a lot of grammatical errors. I know. You don't need to comment on that this time. But PLEAE do comment. I really do love them- and do my poll thanks to those who did! If you don't I'll just leave you more cliffy's. How do you feel about that? Thanks for reading my work! It makes me all excited!**

**Read&Review**

**Disclaimer- I have no energy to make a witty Disclaimer. I'm not her. Shocker. **

* * *

><p>"James!" Lily screamed jumping over the next plume of fire in her way. The heat tickled her calves, threatening to burn.<p>

"James!" she called again, quickly becoming frantic. He wasn't answering. Did that mean he was-?

No.

She couldn't lose him _now- _or ever for that matter. She'd just been crushed _again _by her ex- best friend. Did that make him an ex-ex-best friend?

No.

She didn't care. She refused to care. It was all too much.

At this point the flames seemed like her best option.

"James" Lily tried feebly choking on smoke and her own tears.

This was not happening. It couldn't be happening. Not now. No again. It seemed like fate just couldn't handle happiness. Or at least Lily's happiness.

Well fine. If pain and suffering was what fate wanted then Lily figured that's what she should get. She plopped down on the heated dirt between three columns of fire. Tears made zig zag patterns down her face and she wiped them away furiously.

The fire was closing in on her- but she didn't care. She was long past caring. The physical pain was nothing compared to the emotion she was feeling. James was gone. _Gone._ She didn't want to die, but she didn't want to live without James either.

He was the reason she'd gotten past Aragog and stunned so many Death Eaters. Come to think of it- he was the reason she made it through Transfiguration. What if he was gone forever?

Lily knew he wouldn't be very proud to see her now but she was just done. Maybe Hell really did end in flames. She was numb. Her mind, her body, everything. She couldn't even feel her heart beating in her chest. Surrounded by flames, she was ice cold.

Then she heard it, a signal of hope.

How cliché.

"Lily!"

The voice was muffled, more than a cough than a word, but it made Lily jump nearly face planting into the growing flames before her.

As she scrambled and tripped her way past more fire, ashes and soot coater her eyes and filled her mouth.

But she didn't notice.

He was alive. James was _alive_.

In a matter of seconds Lily became a sprinting hurdler. She jumped over each pillar of fire at a dead sprint.

Alive. Alive. Alive. The best word in any dictionary.

Flames licked at her feet, urging her to go faster and faster. Until she was going so fast, if she sped up she'd be flying. That's what she felt like she was doing anyway.

Alive. Alive. Alive.

James. James. James.

She had to get to him, had to tell him how much she loved him, had to hold him. She imagined him broken and burning, and she sped up.

She wished she could save him, be his savior.

But not even Lily Marie Evans could stop Fiend-Fyre.

The flames grew and grew, burning anything in its path. All wildlife had scattered and only Lily's random shouts of 'James!' could be heard over the roaring of the fire.

The heat chapped Lily's face and hands, and soon she couldn't feel either.

But she'd rather never feel them again and get James back than the other way around.

It seemed her body was tag teaming. Each part of it hurt at a different time.

But the only thing on Lily's mind was James.

James, and James alone.

He was out there- out there fore her to find.

Lily stopped moving when she realized she'd past a seemingly endless amount of burning foliage with no sign of James.

But not even this dampened her spirit. He was there- she knew it. She'd feel it if he was gone.

"James!" she screamed. The yell scratched at her raw throat. She held her breath, cursing the deadly silence.

The cracking of falling trees was all she heard until:

"Lily" The sound was weak, a desperate plea, almost like the voice of a person who'd given up.

But it re-charged Lily once again.

"James!" she yelled in triumph before sprinting off in the direction where the voice came from.

Her eyes filled with fresh tears, and the inside of her stomach tore at itself.

Almost there. Almost there.

"Ja-" The name caught in Lily's throat because there in front of her was the man himself.

A broken and bruised version, but her true love none the less.

Lily fell to her knees, lifting her hands to her eyes.

She'd never be able to un-see this image. She'd never be able to sleep again. James. Her James. Barely standing up and gasping for breath. His eyes darted around, looking for something. Or someone. He wasn't moving but the fire around him was.

"James!" she said, causing his head to snap to look at her. She gasped at his red-rimmed eyes and ashen face; even though she knew she looked much worse.

As soon as their eyes met, his lit up. He wasted no time in running to her, engulfing her with his scent. He gave her the feeling of safety.

Lily forgot the fire, the Death Eaters, and even the entire war for just a moment. One blissful moment where she didn't have to think or worry. All she did was breathe. Deep breaths that took in James' pure clean smell.

In, out. In, out.

The moment he let go, was the moment reality snapped back into place. They were surrounded by fiend-fyre, lucky to have made it this far already and injured. Both of them.

Long story short- they were screwed.

But they'd been screwed before and they weren't dead yet.

James and Lily locked eyes and nodded. With a raw throat, and barely a voice, Lily whispered

"I love you" James blinked back tears then did the same.

Then for what Lily was sure must be the eight-thousandth time, they ran.

And ran.

And ran.

And ran.

They ran until run wasn't even a word anymore. They ran until the forest floor was nothing but passing ground. They jumped over fallen trees, plumes of fire, and even small animals, without missing a beat.

Finally, with more burns, scratches, and cuts than the Merlin himself could count, they saw a light at the end of the tunnel.

Or rather, a place without burn-inflicting flames from Hell.

James pointed and Lily nodded. They picked up the pace and found themselves in a small dark cave.

The fire danced before their eyes. James turned to Lily and opened his mouth to say something but was cut off with a high pitched scream.

Hearing it, Lily said something instead-

"He's coming"

* * *

><p>Remus watched helplessly as the flames inched closer and closer. He knew what it was. What it meant. Lily and James had almost died more times than he cared to remember, Lily even more than James but not even a rogue werewolf was as bad as this.<p>

Fiend-fyre. Who'd been stupid enough to unleash it? Half the forest might be gone before it was contained again.

And it was coming closer.

And he couldn't move.

He'd tried over and over, painful and strenuous movement with the reward of a couple of inches.

He just couldn't do it. He'd always known it'd be his lycanthropy that caused his ultimate downfall, but he hadn't considered it to be like this. His two best friends were fighting for their lives and for a loved one (one who he'd nearly killed) and he was sitting on his back, flailing about like a waterlogged spider.

He was useless.

He'd thought about trying healing spells, Merlin knew he'd seen Madam Pomfrey perform them enough times but he didn't trust himself. He could end up doing more harm to himself than good. Besides, he was mostly just exhausted.

So he did what all classified 'nerds' do-

He made a mental Pro/Con list.

He could hurt himself- but the fiend-fyre would undoubtedly be worse. He could heal himself and still get killed by the fire. But at least then he'd have a fighting chance.

Yes he'd have to try. Even if it killed him, he'd die by fire anyway.

So slowly, methodically, Remus began healing his many bruises and scars. They didn't truly go away but it was better than nothing. Each patch of cleaner skin gave him new hope, and new energy.

He _could_ do this.

He _had_ to do this.

So he did.

As each bit of bruise cleared, so did his mind. When he was more or less clear of serious damage, he began to stand up.

Very, very, _very_ slowly.

Eventually, he was standing, shaky, but standing.

Just in time too. Because it wasn't just Remus that was fire seemed to have a mind of its own.

And even worse- that mind wanted Remus burned at the stake.

* * *

><p>Sirius awoke to fuzzy vision and lack of air. Was he dead? Surely he didn't escape that monster plant alone. What happened? His memory was fading in and out. The only thing he could remember was seeing the plant and a flash of silver. Where the silver came from he had no idea.<p>

There was a pounding in his head that wouldn't seem to go away. A headache to add to his problems.

Brilliant.

He wasn't in dog form anymore- he must've transformed during attack. He was spread-eagle in the middle of a ring of tentacles from the killer kudzu. When he first noticed this- he jumped in fear but it was all shriveled and dead.

How did that happen?

Surely he didn't do it? How could he possible have gotten out of that strangle hold long enough to kill it _all_. No way he did that.

No, someone had to have helped him.

Shit. Wouldn't that mean that they'd seen him change too?

Being an unregistered Animagus was not only dangerous it was also illegal. How was he going to get out of this one?

But that wasn't even in the top five most important things on Sirius Black's mind.

His top priorities were currently filled by James and Lily. He had to get help- if someone had helped him then surely they could help them too, right?

"Devil's Snare can be a very tricky thing Mr. Black" a calm voice said.

Sirius jumped up and fell again. He'd been too busy worrying to even notice that he wasn't alone.

A very old man with very long silver hair tied at the tips stood directly in front of him.

Well at least he'd found the silver.

Sirius stared up at two twinkling blue eyes behind half moon spectacles. It took a moment for him to regain his voice.

"Dumbledore?" he croaked when he finally did. The man nodded.

"I just happened to hear a scream as I took an evening walk and thought I'd check it out. I can now say that I am very glad that I did." He said, taking a seat on a nearby log.

Sirius was fairly certain he had not been taking an 'evening walk' but thought it best not to say anything in the current situation.

"B-bu-bu" he sputtered, unable to get out a clear thought. Dumbledore chuckled and stretched out a hand.

"I must say- Devil's Snare. I assume you were looking for young Mr. Potter and Miss Evans?" he asked, helping Sirius to his feet.

Sirius nodded guiltily, staring at the ground to avoid looking into his professor's eyes.

"I must confess, as was I" Sirius snapped his head up in disbelief. Dumbledore chuckled again.

"You did not think that Nelrim would dissuade me from searching from two of the best students Hogwarts has ever seen did you?" he asked. Sirius shook his head vigorously, but still could not find the words.

"Of course not" Dumbledore supplied "I will look for my students until I find them" he answered himself firmly. Sirius nodded again.

"I do hope I find them" He didn't say it, but Sirius heard it. The unspoken 'alive'. He knew there was a chance that Lily and James weren't alive when he got back to them- Remus too. But he didn't want to even think about it.

That's when he saw it.

"Lily and James!" he shouted, finally finding his voice. Dumbledore looked at him quizzically, but was wise enough not to say anything.

Sirius pointed to the flames now waving above the many trees in the distance. Dumbledore gasped.

Then his face hardened and he jumped up with surprising agility. Wand drawn he motioned for Sirius to either go back to the castle or stay put. Then he dashed off into the distance.

Sirius stared after him. Then did neither.


	19. Not a Chance in Hell

**Disclaimer: Is J.K Rowling coughing up a lung right now? Well I don't know, I'm still not her.**

* * *

><p>James could feel Lily's rapid heartbeat against his chest. She had been pressed to his side for a while and he wouldn't say it out loud but his arms were going numb. His eyes darted back and forth. From Lily's bright hair, to the end of the cave, it was almost like a nervous twitch he did it so quickly. He glanced at Lily worriedly. She wasn't daft- she knew what was about to happen as well he did.<p>

He was coming.

What were the chances they got out alive? James wouldn't mention it to Lily but terrifying scenes were roving through his mind and he didn't like the outcomes. He pressed Lily closer to himself. He couldn't think like that. He had to take a page out of Lily's book.

Never give up.

It seemed like her life motto. How many times should she have died? James couldn't even think about it.

His Lily. Having to fight for her life.

And now they were probably going to die.

Brilliant.

How could he do this to her? He still hadn't forgiven himself for getting her into this in the first place. It was his fault, he reminded himself. She wouldn't even be out there if he hadn't driven her away. His mind again slipped into a dream state where all he could do was berate himself repeatedly.

His fault. His fault. His fault.

"James?" a soft voice said, breaking James from his trance. He glanced down at her in surprise. He thought Lily was crying- he was on the verge of tears himself. She'd removed her head from his chest and was staring at him with her startlingly green eyes.

"It's not your fault" she said, caressing his face with her hands and kissing his cheek.

James gaped at her. This was one of the reasons he'd always loved her so much. She was so in-tune to everyone's feelings.

Especially his own.

It was amazing. It was like she could read his mind. It was crazy how well she knew him.

"I wasn't speaking out loud was I?" he asked with a chuckle, only half joking. Lily laughed and shook her head.

"No, just your facial expression" she giggled kissing his cheek again before sobering quickly.

"It really wasn't your fault" she said, lowering his arm for him and massaging them gently.

"Yes it was, I forced you into the forest- if I had only known what you were trying to do- no if I wasn't such an absolute git then you'd be safe in the castle!" he said turning away from her angrily. Lily sighed and turned his body so he was facing her.

Then she slapped him.

James stared at her wonder while nursing a new red mark appearing on his cheek. Lily just rolled her eyes.

"Will you just shut the hell up?" she yelled loudly, causing James to cower in fear. Lily didn't seem to notice.

"This!" she said gesturing wildly around her "is _not _your fault! If anything it's my fault for being that stupid girl in the horror movies that runs into the forest!" James, wide-eyed tried to argue but Lily would have none of it.

"You will never again speak to me about this topic. Ever. Or you will earn a lot more than a red mark on your cheek!" she warned before kissing said mark and turning to look at the mouth of the cave.

James continued to stare at her in wonder. Lily wasn't like anyone he'd ever met in his entire life. She was an entirely different kind of person- the best kind.

"I love you Lily" he murmured quietly. She nodded in agreement but didn't move her gaze.

"He's near isn't he?" she asked gently. James nodded, refusing to look anywhere but Lily's hair.

"Then shouldn't we move?" she said turning sharply to look at him. James shook his head.

"He'll find us" he said morbidly.

Lily kicked a loose rock angrily.

"Are you telling me we're absolutely screwed? That there is no way out of here?" she screamed. James shook his head.

"I learned a long time ago never to say that to Lily Evans, love" he said wrapping his arms around her again. She pushed him away.

"This is not the time to be charming James" she said angrily, kicking another rock.

"We might, we might-" Lily started but she couldn't finish. She broke down in sobs, falling to the hard rock floor.

James stared at her like a deer caught in headlights. He didn't do crying girls. Every time Heather cried it was because of something stupid and he just ignored it. He thought girls only cried when they were on their period. Apparently not.

What was he supposed to do? He had a feeling girls like Lily didn't cry often making this a big deal. Did he comfort her? Did he slap her? He had no clue.

James had never felt like this about a girl. Watching her cry was gut-wrenching. It made him want to shed his own tears. Most girls looked pitiful when the cried- but not Lily. It made her, somehow, even more beautiful. It gave her a regal look. How she did it- he didn't know.

All he knew was he had a strange urge to be with her- despite the tears. So he crouched down carefully next to her, and wrapped his arms about her shoulders. Lily instantly leaned her head into his chest and sobbed even harder.

James stroked her hair gently but didn't say anything.

"Thanks" she said gently a few minutes later, wiping the tears off her face. He nodded and kissed her forehead.

"It's just so much has happened" Lily's voice went in and out. "I don't know how to handle it" she looked to James as if he held the golden answer.

He shrugged.

"Looks to me like you're already handling it pretty well" he whispered softly into her ear. Lily nodded but James could tell she didn't believe him.

"You know what you really need" he murmured. She looked at him questioningly.

"Sleep" Lily shook her head and tried to protest but James wouldn't let her. He held a finger to her mouth and arranged her into a more comfortable resting position.

"_I guess you'd say what can make me feel this way? My girl…"_ he sang softly.

"James?" Lily said drowsily, James stopped singing for a moment and looked down at her.

"You are so off tune"

James chuckled lightly as Lily fell asleep.

As he watched her angelic eyes droop two words replayed themselves in his mind, over and over again.

He's coming.

Sirius wasn't lost. No really, he wasn't. James and Lily just weren't where he thought they were. He was in the middle of what looked like a forest fire- but he knew better. This was the work of fiend-fyre. What idiot had set of fiend-fyre? Getting trapped by Devil's Snare seemed easy peasy compared to what it looked like his friends went through. They made it out didn't they?

Who was he kidding- it was James and Lily of course they did. He could see their heroic rescues now. No way did the too brightest people he knew get killed by fiend-fyre.

Right?

Sirius shook the thoughts out of his mind. This was no time to be morbid- he had to find them. He knew Dumbledore was there but that just wasn't enough.

_He _was coming.

* * *

><p>Sirius most certainly had to something.<p>

He could probably trace their scents as a dog- but he couldn't afford to be found by a Death Eater in that particular position-with no access to a wand? Wouldn't that be bloody brilliant?

Not to mention Remus was still injured and roaming about the forest. Was he dead? Was he eating biscotti at the castle? Sirius had no idea and he really didn't like it. It wasn't like him to be out of the loop. He always knew all the gossip practically before it happened. This was a new feeling.

And he didn't like it.

He couldn't stand this limbo. Not knowing where two of his best friends were- or if they were even alive.

Speaking of best friends, Sirius thought, where was Wormtail? Usually he'd be right next to Sirius stating the obvious and asking extremely stupid questions.

Come to think of it he hadn't seen Wormtail since they'd left the Shrieking Shack for their full moon adventure.

Where was he?

Sirius didn't have the energy to think about it. Peter was a coward- surely he was back at the castle gorging himself and biting his finger nails.

No, James and Remus. That was who he had to worry about right now. They were the ones in real danger.

Sirius went back to surveying damage. Every tree within a mile radius was shriveled and splintered. The ground was black and ashes covered the dirt and the air smelled of smoke.

How far could they have gone?

He knew Lily was hurt- so either she was gritting her teeth or James was carrying her.

Probably the first one.

Lily didn't accept help lightly. If she was still hurt then they couldn't go far. They were no idiots- surely they knew that Voldemort was near.

James would know they could never run away fast enough- so they were probably in some sort of shelter waiting for the storm.

But where?

Sirius looked around himself, confused. Which way did they go? He turned in circles until he was dizzy.

Which way?

"You know Sirius, I think confused is a good look for you" a raggedy voice said. Sirius turned around sharply and immediately smiled.

"Moony!"

* * *

><p>Wormtail was indeed biting his finger nails. This was his fault. All of his friends were probably dead.<p>

What would he do if they were?

He knew he wasn't smart like Remus, or good at Quidditch like James, and especially not handsome like Sirius. Without his friends, he'd be nothing. He'd be a joke, a bullied little kid. He wouldn't even be an Animagus.

When his friends had gone off into the woods during the full moon- he hadn't known what to do. He didn't know where they'd gone and the forest scared him-even as a rat.

Especially as a rat.

He was so small! How was he supposed to handle the big creatures in the forest? So he did what any rational person would do.

He ran.

Back to the castle, back to the warmth of the Gryffindor common room and treacle tart. Now he was sitting on his bed, surrounded by food he'd gotten from a house elf, staring at the three empty beds which seemed to be staring back at him.

Every sound he heard made him jump.

Was it a Death Eater coming to yell at him for something his friends were doing?

Or worse- his own friends mad that he wasn't doing anything to save Lily and James.

But what could he do?

Nothing. That's what.

He was a rat. A bloody rat. He was worthless, useless. All he could do was sit here and worry like an old wife.

Of course, he did hope they weren't dead.

Who would protect him?

* * *

><p>Hestia never wore dresses when she was little. She didn't wear make-up unless she had too. She got in fights with kids nearly every day when they insulted Muggle-Borns.<p>

So why did the Marauders think she couldn't handle this?

Like she was really going to sit back and watch them try to save _her _best friend.

Not a chance in Hell.

She'd never backed down from a fight and she didn't plan to start.

Hestia had waited until the next morning after the full moon to go out and find Lily- she figured she'd need the daylight and going out on the full moon? That was just suicide- if she didn't die because of it- Lily would kill her later.

So she waited what seemed like forever then she went out to find Lily and possibly start a fight.

Of course- she hadn't factored in actually finding this particular fight.

She'd been searching the Forbidden Forest for hours and she still couldn't find Lily. She couldn't even find a clue to help her.

That is until she saw the smoke.

She smelled first, really. It wasn't hard to find the clearing after that. She just followed her nose.

As she traveled deeper and deeper into the forest, the smell of smoke got stronger, and the light grew dimmer.

By the time she started seeing burnt trees, it was pitch dark, the only light coming from her wand.

It seemed like the row of carnage never ended. Tree after tree sabotaged in what looked like a clumsy effort to kill her Hestia's best friend.

Hestia promised herself then and there that she would make the Death Eaters use their last breaths as prayers of mercy for what they did to Lily.

She could hear a voice now- or was it two? She swore she was going crazy until she saw the first sign of human life she'd seen in hours.

She got there just in time to see Remus step into Sirius' view.

At least she'd found them.

Two down. Two to go.

* * *

><p><strong>A:N What's up? Thought I'd try an Author's Note at the bottom! So I've been sick all week which SUCKS so appreciate this chapter's on-time-ness. I have to give a shout out to who punched through my writer's block for this chapter. Now on the 'sirius' stuff (couldn't help myself) REVIEW. I love reviews. Like really love them. And please do my poll! Thank you to those who did! I love you all!  
><strong>


	20. Might As Well Fight

**Disclaimer- Has J.K Rowling ever been in a musical? Ehh. Not her.**

* * *

><p><strong>Lily:<strong>

Lily awoke with a start. The dream had been painfully vivid and detailed. She could still hear the high cruel laugh, and the crazy taunts. She was back with the Death Eaters. Voldemort was there. She shivered again.

James' head slid down her arm into her lap. The action momentarily distracted her from her terrifying thoughts. He must've fallen asleep. Lily gazed down at his face and sighed. He was so quiet so…peaceful. She wished for that peace. When would this all end?

It felt like never.

Maybe they got out of this alive. _Maybe_. And even then, it still wouldn't be over until Voldemort was rotting in the ground.

She looked to James again. That peace. That tranquility. That was something she was willing to fight for. _He_ was something she was willing to fight for.

Lily made a promise right then and there that she would be the one to do it. Or at least she would help it happen.

To the very last breath she breathed may it be today or in a thousand years, she would fight. She would make the wizarding world the place to be.

She smiled to herself.

Voldemort wouldn't know what hit him.

* * *

><p><strong>SiriusRemus**

Sirius ran to his best friend and gave him the biggest hug he'd ever given anyone.

"Sirius" Remus gasped "I need to breathe" Sirius let go of him immediately and gave a sheepish smile.

"Sorry. It's just…long time no see Moony!" he shouted. Remus shushed him and looked around warily.

"Well I think we were both a bit preoccupied" he said gesturing to Sirius' current look, which was worse than before…if that was even possible.

Sirius nodded vigorously before launching into a dramatic story about being nearly killed by Devil's Snare (Remus smacked him and yelled "idiot") being rescued by a crazy old man ("Professor!") and finishing with their current status.

Remus rolled his eyes as Sirius finished acting out his daring adventure then he recounted his own story with far less drama.

"And now, I'm here" Remus finished gesturing toward the burned ruins. "Any ideas about where James and Lily are?"

Sirius sobered immediately, his smile quickly faded and his shaking arms fell limply to his sides. He shook his head in a defeated way. Remus gripped his shoulder comfortingly.

"We'll find them, no way they're dead, Lily doesn't want it and we both know Lily usually gets what she wants" he said with a meaningful look. Sirius gave a fake chuckle and nodded.

"I just…" he was at a loss for words. Another feeling unknown to him, he was breaking a lot of barriers today. Remus seemed to understand.

"I know" Sirius sent him an appreciative look then his face hardened.

"Let's go kick some Moldy arse"

* * *

><p><strong>Peter:<strong>

Peter looked out the window again. They were out there- he'd know if the y were dead-

Right?

He stared down at his feet. His shoes were old and faded. The fabric was peeling and the soles were upturned.

It was easier to think about shoes than his possibly dead group of friends.

He kept having flashbacks to all the times they had helped him, was that…normal?

Lily would know. She knew everything.

Especially the medical stuff. She'd once told him she didn't know what she wanted to do- but healing sounded good so she studied it a lot.

Peter barely studied on a regular basis, and he definitely didn't study for things he _might_ do.

She had to be alive- she was much too smart not to be.

"Of course she is" he muttered reluctantly looking towards the window.

Somewhere out there his friends were fighting for their lives.

And he was eating Chocolate Frogs.

It almost made him want to go out and help.

Almost.

It wasn't like he could do anything. He was a better use inside- he'd just get in the way. That's all he ever did.

He sighed again.

Then he picked up his Transfiguration homework and started writing.

* * *

><p><strong>Hestia:<strong>

Hestia debated showing herself as the two boys hugged. She considered doing it as Sirius acted out his exploits (she had a few choice words in mind- Devil's Snare?) and she even took a step forward when Remus was telling his account.

But it just didn't seem smart.

How would they react?

She could hear their voices now. Sirius would force her to back the castle and Remus would regard her creepily then do the same.

She couldn't risk it.

She had to find Lily and she had to do it now- might as well do it on her own.

So quietly, she skirted around the area where Remus and Sirius seemed to be having a moment (At a time like this- really?) careful not to step on anything that might crunch, crack, or crinkle and alarm them to her presence.

She knew Remus had super hearing. He always seemed to know when she was near his secret chocolate stash, which meant she had to be extra careful not to touch anything but soft dirt.

Pretty soon she was around the circle and about to sneak off into the area the ashes were thickest.

She almost made it too.

"HESTIA ELIZABETH JONES WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

* * *

><p><strong>James:<strong>

James' eyes fluttered but he didn't open them. He figured if he kept them closed he wouldn't have to see what he knew was coming.

But Lily's voice sliced right through that fantasy.

"James?" she said. "Are you awake?" He sighed. He would never be able to fool Lily.

"Yeah" he said drowsily, rubbing his eyes. He hadn't realized how creepy and dark the cave was.

Maybe that was because of Lily. Even dirty and broken she was a ray of sunshine. Gorgeous in a fierce kind of way. He saw her give him a small smile. She was glad he was awake.

That was a first.

It felt good to know that she wanted him there, that he was important to her. He thought about losing her for a moment but cut the thought quickly.

No.

"Anything new?" he asked, scared for the answer.

"No" she said shakily. James gave her a knowing look.

She could fool him about as well as he could fool her. Lily stared at her feet.

"I had a dream" she said finally, not looking at him.

James sighed and wrapped his arms around her.

"Death Eaters?" he asked, she seemed calmed by his touch. She nodded.

"And…_him _that absolute arse" she spat. James looked at her, surprised.

What went on in that pretty little head?

"It's okay it was just a dream" he said soothingly, Lily nodded.

"But…" she said but a loud rustle cut her off. She looked to James to confirm her fears.

He nodded and whispered

"Here they come"

* * *

><p><strong>Sirius:<strong>

Sirius couldn't even breathe he was so mad. He'd never felt like this before, not for a girl. He knew he loved her, he just knew it. And now of course because _he_ loved her she was going to die. Just like his friends.

Damn.

"_Life sucks and then you die" _he remembered.

Maybe Lily was right.

As he looked into Hestia's guilty eyes he couldn't even imagine saying something. He felt like exploding, for a moment he actually thought he might.

Was this how James felt about Lily when she was missing?

It sucked.

He pointed toward a tree and started walking; Remus didn't need to see this. He turned around to see Hestia reluctantly following. Usually she would have made a sarcastic comment about being ordered around, but she seemed to sense that it was not the best time for that.

She stood straight in front of him, meeting his angry eyes.

"How could you-"

"She's my best friend" Hestia erupted, cutting him off. Sirius was taken aback. In all of this he had completely forgotten that.

"Of course I came after you- like I'd leave her out here all alone and dying!" she continued at the same high volume. Sirius glanced nervously to Remus who wasn't even hiding his interest.

"bu-" he said but was once again over powered.

"But nothing! James is your best friend you find him, I'll find Lily. Maybe we can find them together!" she screamed. Sirius noticed with alarm that she was turning purple.

So he screamed too.

"But what if you die!" he said then realizing how vulnerable he sounded, looked away. Hestia's eyes immediately softened.

"I'll do my best not too I promise" Sirius nodded, choking on his next words.

"I love you"

* * *

><p><strong>Remus:<strong>

Remus looked at Sirius like he was a ticking time bomb. His face was red and he seemed, once again, to be at a loss for words.

Twice in one night. Wow.

He knew that Sirius was more committed to Hestia than the other girls but this…? All because she wanted to save her best friend?

The two had gone off towards yet another burned tree to 'talk'.

More like 'shout' Remus thought as he watched what looked like a really heated argument. They seemed to be playing verbal tennis.

Remus was reminded instantly of the infamous fights between Lily and James. He smiled to himself. Lily usually won. Of course Lily usually won almost everything.

He hoped that extended to evil snake-like wizards.

Remus sighed. As much as he hated getting in the middle of things they needed to find their friends and the shouting match happening a few feet away was not helping.

He sighed again.

Time to break up a lover's spat.

* * *

><p><strong>Hestia:<strong>

As soon as she realized what he said Hestia's eyes widened and she whipped her head around. After all her yelling had he just said what she was pretty sure he had just said?

I love you. Three words that he had told from the very beginning he would probably never say. The time where she laughed and said "me either".

Those three words?

Hestia jumped from guy to guy a lot but this…Sirius was different. He was so much like her. It was almost insane.

And she loved it.

But she had never planned to tell him that. And now he was scared about her dying?

Well, if she was being honest she was scared about his dying too. Did that mean she loved him?

Of course she did.

But saying it out loud? That made it real.

And did he have to do it now? Right when she was trying to focus on getting her friend out of endless hell? _Now_ he had to make her brain go all fuzzy?

She had to snap out of it- go get Lily. But the way he'd said it. Like he meant it.

She turned around.

"I love you too. Now let's go get our friends"

* * *

><p><strong>Lily:<strong>

He was a snake. He was a man. He was a snake again. Lily couldn't remove her eyes from the face that haunted her dreams. Flanked by five Death Eaters on both sides, Lord Voldemort had come to collect his payment.

Yeah. That was going to happen.

Lily looked at James. She could see the same fear and determination that was surely evident on her own face.

Together, they raised their wands.

"Lily?" James said, voice wavering. Lily tried but failed to remove her eyes from the oncoming group.

"Yes?"

"I love you" it seemed like a recurring theme to Lily. She kept hearing her favorite three words, when she was about to die.

Merlin fate was cruel.

"I love you too" she choked out. Her eyes slid back to Voldemort.

He looked angry.

No, not just angry he looked pissed.

Pissed and…confident. He knew he was going to win this. Two Hogwarts kids against his mini-army?

They had no chance.

"_Self –conceit may lead to self-destruction"_

The voice of her mother reciting Aesop popped randomly into Lily's mind.

She raised her wand a little higher.

Might as well fight.

* * *

><p><strong>James:<strong>

They were almost there. Lily hadn't taken her eyes of the approaching group and it was scaring him.

James was pretty sure she wasn't scared- that wasn't Lily's style. She seemed too…calm.

Being a Gryffindor, he would never admit it, but he was scared.

The look on Voldemort's face was freaking him out. His kept his nose high, like Mudblood was a smell.

James held his wand a little tighter.

Merlin he hated that word.

His arms were limp at his sides; his wand was barely even in his hand.

As if he didn't even need it.

His expression was distant, like he didn't really care about what was happening.

Basically, he thought he was Merlin.

James growled. For a moment, he even considered chuckling.

How long had it been since a prisoner had escaped him?

There were probably none- until now of course.

He glanced at Lily.

She was one of a kind- the most powerful being he'd ever met, and the kindest.

Plus she was Muggle Born.

Apparently, that didn't sit well with Voldemort. He'd been bested by a Muggle Born, a girl no less! Now he had to redeem himself, he could only blame others for her escape for so long.

Eventually he'd have to either take the shame, or take Lily.

James preferred the first option.

As he glanced back up, he started.

He hadn't realized they were so close.

"Hello Mudblood"

* * *

><p><strong>A:N Hi there! Yeah it's late, but I've had rehearsal for the musical at my school every day this week (I sit on the bench. Woo.) Anyway, I tried something new this time and I hope you like it- tell me if you don't! By the way I'm sorry I never reply to reviews- a lot of you deserve it, I just…er forget…er a lot. SORRY! **

**REVIEW PLEASE! Oh! and do the poll too (I need more than 10 votes people!)**

**Love you!**


	21. A Circle of Crazy Maniacs

**Disclaimer- Again. Really? NOT MINE!**

Lily had never hated anyone before.

Until now.

She hated him with every fiber of her being, his nose, his skin, his voice.

Lily shivered.

Especially his voice. She'd prayed to never hear it again.

Apparently Merlin was on holiday.

She'd always hated him from afar, but now, with him standing right in front of her, it was a different kind of a hate. It was a burning, fiery, painful hate. The kind of hate that never ends well.

The kind of hate that ends in pain.

Lily fought the urge to spit in his face. She'd always been cheeky, and today was no different.

He was no different.

But she restrained herself. What would he do to James if she did? She didn't know and she couldn't risk it.

"Hello snake" she retorted. She felt James grab and squeeze her hand.

Was it out of warning or encouragement?

Voldemort's eyebrows raised and he said something. She felt James tense and he too said something, but she didn't hear either of them.

She was zoned. A question was whirring through her brain.

Voldemort had eyebrows?

Well not really, she acknowledged. He just had an area where eyebrows would usually be.

She knew it was the stupidest thing ever to think about when you were flanked by blood thirsty murderers, but somehow it seemed to drag her down to Earth.

Until now, it could have been a dream. Voldemort could've just been a crazy, evil, man that she'd never see or deal with. Until now, even when she did meet him, she could show him nothing but disgust and kill him. It wasn't like he was human.

But he had eyebrows at some point.

Which meant at one time he had a nose. He could even have been handsome. And a Mom and Dad. He was human.

What could possibly have happened to him to screw him up this bad?

Lily could have stayed in her trance forever if shock by way of a stupefy curse hadn't jumpstarted her. The curse flew right over her head. She swerved to see who'd casted it.

Bellatrix.

But she missed? - No way. It was a warning. James must have said something, and by the guilty look on his face, Lily was pretty sure she was right.

His eyes were dark and his hand was clenched on his hand tightly, she knew he was about to go bonkers. She dropped his hand and stared dead-on at Voldemort.

"You are a coward." She stated.

It wasn't a question.

Usually, Lily knew, Voldemort was extraordinarily good at hiding his emotions and that was what he was trying to do now.

But she was Lily Marie Evans.

Nothing goes by Lily Marie Evans.

His nose (was it a nose?) contracted briefly. That was all the sign Lily needed.

"I am the greatest wizard to walk the Earth" he said steadily, but Lily saw his hands clench.

"Sorry to break it to you sweetie but that position has been filled, by someone who doesn't need so many sadistic cronies to take down two students. That. Is. Pathetic. And you know what?"

Now Voldemort was seething now. His eyes, if possible, were glaring with even more hatred. He didn't say anything, so Lily continued.

"It makes sense because _you_ are pathetic"

Voldemort snapped.

Merlin what was Lily thinking? Sure James had antagonized Voldemort when she'd been off in la la land thinking Merlin knows what- but the cruelty in Voldemort's eyes was building, he was going to blow.

James kept squeezing Lily's hand, harder, and harder, but she wouldn't stop. James knew it was going to happen seconds before it did.

Voldemort's wand was in his hand faster than humanly possible. Before he even knew what was happening, Lily was writhing on the ground, screaming.

The piercing sound was haunting. Like her hair was on fire and every limb broken and he knew nothing could stop it. He could do nothing.

James dropped to the ground in an instant. He knew exactly what Voldemort was doing.

The cruciatus curse.

Damn him.

A sort of fierce, vicious pleasure took hold over Voldemort's features. The anger gurgled in James' stomach.

He rose and raised his wand, but six were already pointed at him. Voldemort was twirling his through his fingers, like this was all a game.

James seethed, but he kept his mouth shut. The angry light had faded from Voldemort's eyes as the curse did.

Breathe. He told himself, Lily needs you.

He could hear Lily groaning. It was like a knife through his heart every sound. He watched her rise, she stumbled once, but he kept her steady.

Through all of this her eyes didn't once leave her attacker's.

Fearless and brave. That was his Lily.

He felt a rush of pride. She knew what was happening and she still wasn't scared. It was amazing, inspiring, and also…stupid. Every time she opened her mouth, James could practically see Voldemort's temper rising.

This would not end well.

"I just want to talk" Voldemort said, and although his anger was carefully concealed, James knew he was popping a vein in his head.

"Bloody hell you do" Lily spat weakly. James cringed. Not this again.

"And I am just dying to join your little cult" Lily rolled her eyes.

James tried the hand squeezing thing again.

It didn't work. Lily seemed to be on a mission to piss Voldemort off to the maximum of her ability.

Mission accomplished.

The angry eye thing was coming back. James tried to step between him and Lily, but they were surrounded by idiots in masks. One step could mean another fiend-fyre disaster.

"Lily" James warned quietly. He could see the hunger in Bellatrix's eyes, and her husband's hand itching on his wand.

She glanced at him quickly and nodded.

Then she kept talking.

"Which will _never_ happen. Ever." James sighed. He knew it was the last straw. The Death Eaters were done. Did they even wait for a green light from Voldemort? James didn't know and he didn't care. All he knew is that there were spells coming at him from all angles.

Again.

The only thing on his mind was fighting back.

And Lily.

Hestia rolled her eyes. The boys were fighting. Again. She really should've just gone by herself, maybe she would be there by now.

"It's that way! I can see the burned line of trees!"

"I'm the smart Marauder and it's that way!"

There was no way they were going to get anywhere. Fifteen minutes later, Hestia was done. She was tired, hungry, mad, and scared. She was scared for herself and for her friends.

"Shut the hell up!" she screamed. This quickly got Remus and Sirius' attention.

"We are going to get nowhere if you don't just shut up, stop fighting, and work together!" Her face was read and tears were streaming down her eyes.

The boys looked at each other for a moment, then slowly, they nodded.

"The burned trees are that way" Sirius muttered quietly, gesturing to his left. Remus glanced around.

"Which means they went that way" he said pointing away from Sirius' outstretched hand "or they'd be-" a glare from Hestia silenced him.

"Let's go" she grunted.

Sirius gazed at the back of Hestia's head admiringly. As soon as he and Remus had decided which way to go, she'd set off, not even looking to see if they were following her. She had spirit. It was something he hadn't seen in a lot of girls he'd dated.

None, actually.

She was something special, and he was leading her to her death. Single file even. It was like a movie.

But they had to find their friends. Somewhere out here in the vast forest, his best friend was hurt, in pain, and possibly dead. He had to find them. But would he like what he found? Surely not, considering what he knew had happened.

And Lily. Strong and stubborn Lily Evans. How was she? Surely not good.

Sirius stumbled over another tree root. At this rate, the big battle that was sure to be raging would be over when they got there. He glanced around nervously. Something big was going to go down, and he needed to be there. Now.

As if Merlin himself was listening, Hestia soon stopped short, causing Sirius to run into her. She didn't seem to notice, she turned and held a finger to her lips. Sirius wanted to ask why, but he soon got his answer.

He'd never been so glad to hear Voldemort's voice.

Remus followed behind Sirius quietly. He was sure his friend was brooding. He and James. That's what they did when they had girl problems.

Which was most of the time.

What with James absolute obsession with Lily and Sirius' constant string of one week girlfriends? It was a madhouse of testosterone and drinking in their dorm room.

And Remus wouldn't change any of it.

It was the first time he had real friends. At least since… his transformation. Only they and Lily had accepted him. Granted, no one else new. But they didn't look at him like he was dangerous or a mental patient. It was the first kind of real friendships he 'd ever had

It was amazing.

And now two of those people's lives were on the line. Not to mention one of them was injured because of him.

But this was Lily, surely she'd find a way.

He hoped.

Remus didn't snap out of his thoughts until he roughly ran into Sirius. He saw Hestia give them the shush sign and started listening intently.

A large smile broke out on his face a second later.

Lily felt James' back ram against hers as she shot another disarming spell. She still refused to kill. It seemed like curses were coming from every direction. Oh wait, Lily thought, they were. There was a circle of crazy maniacs. Which, normally Lily could deal with, but these psychopaths had wands. Some curses they sent she couldn't avoid- she'd been stunned (James always revived her in time) tickled, she'd even laughed uncontrollably for a while. Anything that could happen to her did.

But nothing life threatening.

It appeared that the Death Eaters, too, were avoiding killing. No 'Avada Kedavra' had been sent and both she and James still had all of their body parts.

Lily knew they were losing. She knew it from the very beginning. But she supposed that was the point. Fighting even when you knew you were going to lose. That was how they would stop Voldemort.

She and James were hopelessly outnumbered. They had no hope. But that didn't stop Lily from taking down Death Eaters with a fierce ability.

The only person not throwing curses at her was Voldemort. He was leaning against the stone wall outside of the circle.

The nerve of him.

Bringing a mini army to find her and not even fighting? That absolute coward. The smirk on his face told Lily that he knew he was winning too. What an arse. She glared him down for as long as possible before a near miss of a stunner caught her attention.

She locked eyes with James. His held the same worry that hers did. He knew just as well as she did.

They were screwed.

James' only instinct was to protect Lily. He casted curses with a ferocity he'd never felt before. He'd never had something to protect like this.

It sucked.

All he could think about was Lily's death. Every time she was stunned he nearly burst into tears. Seeing her so lifeless was heartbreaking.

He knew they were outnumbered. He knew they were pretty much dead on their feet. But he didn't care at all. He'd decided to live for the moment. He'd nearly died, and watched Lily nearly die too many times to care about whether or not he made it out. All he could do was fight like hell for now and worry about the consequences later.

So that's what he did.

But he felt himself get tired. He felt Lily sag behind him. They were exhausted and losing. Not a good combination.

The Death Eater circle was closing in on them and both were losing their fighting spirit.

James refused to lay down and die, but his other options weren't exactly good. James was a free person. He loved flying, and he hated being trapped.

And that's what he was.

Trapped.

Within a circle of asylum patients, James was trapped. He didn't like the feeling, so he sent out more hexes and more curses.

But James could send a million curses and it still wouldn't be enough. The enemy was advancing and James and Lily were going down faster than the Titanic.

He couldn't stop it and he knew it. James felt Lily's hand slip into his own. These could be the last moments of his life, he thought. He closed his eyes.

He didn't open them until he saw the lights.

**A:N/ SORRRYYYYYY. I know I missed a week! But it was hell week for the musical, and true to its name it was hell. APOLOGIES! I hope I didn't lose any of my lovely readers! Love you guys! Hope you like it! THE BATTLE IS HEATING UP!**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE!**


	22. Close Your Eyes

**Disclaimer- Nope.**

* * *

><p>Lily felt like her eyes were burning. What idiot was flashing lights that bright? They'd all go blind! It was a while until she noticed that curses had stopped flying towards her. She couldn't hear them shoot by her and no one was shouting foul words.<p>

What happened?

Lily raised her head but she didn't open her eyes. She was scared. If she did would she end up staring straight at the curse that would kill her? Or maybe the lights would blind her forever.

She was scared.

She felt James stir next to her. She lifted her head a little higher. She'd have to do it eventually. Like ripping off a band-aid. Way easier to do it fast and get it over with than sit there and peel it off painfully for an hour.

On three she told herself. One…Two…Three…

Wait.

Was that?

No it couldn't be. She was in the middle of a ring of Death Eaters. She must be hallucinating. She honestly could not be hearing the obnoxious voice of Sirius Black right now. No way.

"Why cousin! You've gone soft!"

There it was again! It had to be him. But then it couldn't be. But who else had a cousin they'd be fighting.

Alright. She'd try the counting thing again- she never had like numbers.

One…two…three

This time, she sucked it up and opened her eyes. What she saw amazed her.

Her friends.

Sirius, Hestia, Remus.

Fighting.

And Merlin's toenails they were holding their own.

"You crazy b-" Hestia yelled before she fell to the ground.

Lily shot up so fast her head span. That was her best friend and no way in hell was Bellatrix Lestrange taking her down.

Hell no.

As soon as she got up, Bellatrix had turned and fired blindly. Of course, because Lily had the worst luck in the history of luck it flew straight at her.

Lily ducked and shot a stunner. She was filled with that new energy having friends beside you often brings.

"Lils!" a voice called.

"What!" Lily screamed back, not looking away from Bellatrix Lestrange's cold black eyes.

"I'm glad you're not dead!"

Yep. That was definitely Sirius.

Lily was a good fighter, but even she had to admit that Bellatrix's cruelty gave her an edge. While she only sent stunners and disarming spells, Bellatrix was aiming to kill.

It seemed she was a little upset about being duped by a 'mudblood'. Half of the Death Eaters were already stunned, and none of their people were smart enough to stop and help them to replenish their numbers.

And still Voldemort was leaning against the wall of rock with a completely serene look on his face.

Merlin that pissed her off.

Bellatrix sent a well aimed curse and it nearly caught Lily off guard.

Oh that was so it.

Lily took all her anger and channeled into one stunner.

It hit Bellatrix smack dab in the face. She'd be out cold for hours.

"Take that" Lily spat. She turned. Hestia was up again and fighting the other Lestrange, It seemed Sirius had jumped from Bellatrix to Malfoy. Remus was absolutely tearing through Macnair. Lily swerved around again. They couldn't possibly be the only three left.

Could they?

She took a deep breath. Then a terrifying thought hit her.

Where was James?

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><p>James opened his eyes in a rush. He was never one for thinking before he did something.<p>

What was the fun in that?

Apparently this was the wrong move as he was immediately met with such a bright light, he nearly passed out. James clamped his eyes shut quickly.

What now?

He definitely couldn't fight if he couldn't see. He started groping around aimlessly. All he touched was rock. Could he open his eyes now?

The brightness had caused flashing colors to go across the black of his closed eyes, but it had stopped. He cracked his eyelids. No sign of any deathly lights. He took a deep breath.

One…two…three…

Open. He still had black spots dancing in front of his eyes but he ignored them. He rose slowly. His head was spinning and for a second he actually thought he saw Remus. But that was crazy. James looked quickly from his left to right.

Lily was still on the ground- her hands were over her eyes. He wanted desperately to go to her but there was a problem.

Voldemort was in his way.

Really? James thought. Before this experience- he wouldn't have believed anybody had this much bad luck.

"Mr. Potter" James heard the words but he didn't respond.

"I am so glad to see you are alive" the battle around them was still raging, but James felt as if time had stopped. He couldn't see Lily or hear the Death Eaters. All he saw was Voldemort's emotionless eyes. All he heard was the voice of a snake.

"You see, I would like to extend to you an offer" James stayed silent. He kept his eyes locked on Voldemort's. No flinching. No reaction.

"You may join me" James actually snorted. Voldemort gave him an amused smile.

"Let me rephrase myself. You may join me or you may watch the mudblood die" Voldemort was pointing a wand straight at Lily's bent head.

James' arms started to shake with fury. How dare he. How dare he threaten Lily! He raised his wand.

"No sir" Voldemort said wagging his finger "make a move, and the girl is dead" James lowered his wand. Now his whole body was shaking.

"What if I-" he started.

"Dead"

"What if-"

"Dead"

"But-"

"Dead"

James saw no way out.

"Fine. Now get that wand away from her head" He mumbled, voice trembling with rage. Voldemort smiled and did as he was asked.

"Glad to see we came to an agreement" James nodded mutely.

"Now please go outside this repulsive cave and wait for me to inform you of your next task"

James started walking, stopped, and turned around.

"Do I have your word?" he asked. Voldemort sighed.

"Yes, yes, I won't hurt the mudblood- but if you run. She's gone."

James turned and headed out the mouth of the cave. The last thing he whispered before getting assaulted with sunlight was:

"Oh Lily"

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><p>Sirius never knew how fast Hestia could run. As soon as she'd heard the voices she had taken off in a dead sprint. She was going so fast, Sirius thought for a moment she had a broom.<p>

It took him a moment to catch his bearings but when he did, he was right beside her, running full speed towards the cave. Even Remus was keeping up. It was crazy what adrenaline could do to you.

They were getting closer and closer to the cave and the voices were getting louder and louder. It sounded like absolute chaos. There was shouting, curses were flying, a mass of bodies twisted and contorted.

Sirius figured this was what Hell was like. He wasn't even in the cave yet, and he could tell it was bad. There was even evil laughter.

How cliché.

The three stopped just outside the bottom of the cave. They looked at each other. Back to the cave. Sirius grabbed Hestia's hand. She didn't protest.

Nobody said a word. Hestia looked at the two boys. She nodded. They took this to mean

'Let's go'

As soon as they started walking Sirius jumped in front of Hestia so that she was between him and Remus, because the trees were so thick they were going single file. Clearly he wanted her in the most protected place possible She was about to argue, but Sirius' hard stare straight ahead shut her up.

It wasn't long before they were in the middle of the chaos themselves. Sirius went strait for Bellatrix. Merlin she pissed him off. Cousins. Yeah, sure.

"Hello cousin" she said. Sirius raised his wand and clenched his fists.

"Bella" he nodded to her in greeting, not lowering his arm.

"Must you be so futile Siri?" she asked, purposefully irking him with the use of his old nickname. He clenched his teeth.

Sirius glanced to his right. He could see James and Lily on the ground. He didn't know how someone could be so banged up but not dead.

Sirius felt tears come to his eyes. Then Remus' voice came at him from his left side

"Sirius close your eyes!"

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><p>Hestia saw Lily and she nearly broke down. She was so hurt. How was she still alive?<p>

Oh, right. She was Lily. Hestia was pretty sure nothing could kill her. It made her so mad. So she did what any logical witch would.

She found the first Death Eater she could and put him through Hell. When she was sure he was knocked out cold she moved on to the next one. He was a better fighter than the first.

"So I see my wife's cousin can't do very well. Of course you are better than I expected" he said giving her an appraising look. Hestia snorted. She could see Sirius fighting Bellatrix but she knew he'd heard every word.

And he was pissed.

For some reason that made her really happy.

"Well you're one to judge. Bellatrix, really? That's the best you can do?" Rodulphus Lestrange gritted his teeth.

"She's much better than you- what are you...a half blood?" he scoffed. Hestia's eyebrows rose.

"That's all you've got? Bad comebacks about how I'm a half-blood? Wow. Nice." She shot a stunner at him. He dodged it, but his nostrils flared.

"Shut up" he seethed. Hestia laughed.

"Wait, are we first years now? Stop waving that wand or I'll call your mommy!" she teased. Hestia was pretty sure he was about to snap but apparently Rodolphus Lestrange had more self control than he was credited.

"You are worthless" he said through his teeth. Hestia giggled like a school girl.

"How low do you honestly think my self esteem is? I know I'm not worthless. Everybody else thinks I'm pretty useful thank you. So maybe you're just out of the loop!" she was just baiting him now.

It worked.

Rodolphus lunged at her, but not before a large, familiar hand covered her eyes.

Remus knew he had to come up with a plan. A good one too. He wasn't labeled the smart Marauder for nothing. He knew that as soon as all of his Death Eaters were gone Voldemort would decide it was time to jump in and by that time they'd be too exhausted to do anything about it. He couldn't let that happen.

Of course that didn't stop him from taking down one or two himself. He knew he had to act- soon.

There was a spell he could use. But...it was dangerous. And it could possibly harm his side of this battle. Would he be able to live with the guilt if something happened? If he...hurt someone? But they were all dead if he didn't do something. Now.

He'd found the spell in a potions book somebody had left on their potions book. It was written in the margins. He'd tried it once – in a very controlled area. After that, he couldn't even believe he was thinking of setting loose in the cave. It was a scary thought.

Was it necessary?

He glanced at Sirius goading Bellatrix-he could take her if he didn't let his temper get in the way...which wasn't likely.

Hestia was teasing Rodolphus...how long until on or Merlin forbid both of them snapped?

And then there was Lily and James. James looked like he'd been through a cheese grater and Lily... well Lily looked even worse.

How long would they last? His indecision was wasting time. He had to make a choice. He glanced at all of his friends again. He'd made his choice. He raised his wand.

"Sirius close your eyes!"

Of course. Being Sirius he completely ignored Remus and ran to Hestia. But Remus knew Sirius well enough to plan for that. He watched as Sirius quickly closed his eyes and shoved his hand over Hestia's. Then he closed his eyes and said the spell.

"Illumascopa"

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><p><strong>A:N Review!**


	23. Yet Another Hurtle

**Disclaimer- Okay really? Saying I'm not J.K Rowling is making me depressed because as we all know I will never be J.K Rowling. Stop poring salt in my wounds.**

**A:N/ Okay I'm a little offended. Two reviews? Really. I know this chapter is late and I'm sorry but I would really appreciate more than TWO reviews. Is it that bad? If it is just tell me. This no reviewing thing is hurting my feelings! This time I won't even remind you. Thanks to the two beautiful, amazing people who didn't make me sad last week. You guys are the best.**

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><p>Lily looked around frantically. All this and now she couldn't even find James. She saw Sirius rip into Rodolphus- probably said something about Hestia. She saw Remus face relax- maybe that was where the light came from, and she saw Hestia, outraged that Sirius had taken her dueling partner, start firing hexes at Bellatrix. But she didn't see James.<p>

She even forced herself to look at the bodies on the ground. Her e yes scanned through the limp.

She breathed a sigh of relief. No James. So then where was he? James wouldn't just walk out of a battle- there had to be a reason for his random disappearance. She examined the room again. There was nowhere for him to go unless he walked straight out of the front entrance. Lily gasped.

Voldemort had been standing right next the front entrance. If he hadn't wanted James to leave he wouldn't have let him.

Lily wasted no time as she weaved through one on one duels giving her friends encouraging words and a few extra hex suggestions as she passed. Hestia Occasionally she hit a Death Eater with a spell of her own, but she was too committed to getting to James to be much help to the others.

"Hestia hit him with a stinging jinx on the left" she said when she reached her. Hestia nodded and didn't say a word about Lily's sudden need to leave the cave. She knew if Lily wanted to leave, she was going to leave, and probably for a good reason.

Sirius and Remus watched her move towards the cave's only opening too. Despite their current battles they had confusion written on their faces. Lily tried to motion that she was finding James But they were too busy fighting to really give her silent explanation much thought. But they too like Hestia didn't say anything and didn't make a move to try and stop her. They trusted her to know what she was doing.

Lily took a deep breath and launched herself out of the cave.

Of course with her luck, that landed her face to face with Voldemort.

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><p>He'd never admit it but Voldemort was actually quite impressed with the mudblood. She was much harder to kill than he'd given her credit for. Plus, she actually wasn't that bad at magic.<p>

But that didn't make her any less revolting. Mudblood. Why was she allowed to be a witch? Why could she do magic?

He'd heard about the perfect redhead. Beautiful. Talented. Mudblood. That's why he'd sent Malfoy to kill her parents. He wanted to get her angry, do something stupid, so he could kill her and not have the weight of a powerful muggle born on his mind and clouding his favorite Death Eater's thoughts.

Yes he knew all about Snape's…_ infatuation. _He'd known it since he was first marked. His mind was harder than others- but he was Lord Voldemort and he could break anybody. So he'd made the plan to kill the girl's family. Make her feel his pain. Kill her.

And it worked.

Except for the kill her part. That and the fact that the daft mind of Lucius seemed to forget that he'd also said kill the sister. Which he hadn't.

But no matter. He still had her in his grasp. Her and the "Marauders". Another group of talented students. And he hadn't even known one was a werewolf! Even better.

But of course, his Death Eaters had messed up again. A mudblood had fooled them twice. A mudblood! When he heard he was so made he'd seethed.

Voldemort didn't seethe.

Now, he finally had her cornered. Her lover was in the middle of his very own mind games, her friends were no match for his minions.

She could do nothing. She could call nobody. It was the perfect.

Voldemort laughed quietly. No mudblood was smarter than him. No magical being would ever be stronger than him.

He got pleasure out of torturing the weak. He was excited to see what the mudblood would do when she realized her precious love was gone.

He laughed again and started to head back to watch his victory in the battle.

He hadn't planned on running right the mudblood he so wanted to be dead.

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><p>James was shouting on the inside.<p>

He'd be shouting on the outside too, but Voldemort had performed the silencio charm on him. How could he have been so stupid?

Voldemort never kept his word- of course he was going to kill Lily. She'd beaten him, defied him, and proven the strength of a muggle born. As soon as he had walked outside, Voldemort laughed, disillusioned him and stuck him with some sort of spell to the cave wall.

There was no way to even warn Lily, much less save her. There was nothing he could do but sit and wait.

He knew everything about Lily. He knew she'd discover his absence. He knew she'd come looking for him. Her loyalty would be her death sentence.

And it was killing him. Every single moment he wasn't with her killed him. It had been that way since the time he realized he loved her- that was in fourth year. Now he finally had her- thanks to the circumstances- and he was going to lose her just as quickly.

Curse his stupidity. His bravery. His loyalty. His Gryffindor personality. If he'd been a Slytherin he would have stopped asking her out, left her alone, taken the defeat, and none of this would have ever happened.

James might actually feel better if he wished that had happened.

But he didn't.

If he had the chance- he'd do it all over again just for the little time he'd already had with Lily. Whether he died in the end or not.

James mentally shook his head. Erase the feelings he told himself. Concentrated on Lily.

_Don't come Lily, Don't come Lily, Don't come Lily. _

He said the three words to himself over and over again.

So of course, she came.

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><p>Sirius tried to watch Lily's back as she made her way to the cave's only exit and duel Rodolphus Lestrange at the same time.<p>

It didn't work.

In the few seconds he had concentrated on Lily, he'd already been nearly hit by three hexes and a number of other, deadlier curses.

He decided he'd just have to trust Lily and stopped watching her. He turned all of his focus back to Rodolphus. He felt the anger in the pit of his stomach gurgle. How dare he talk to Hestia that way? It may not have fazed her, but it sure as hell made him want to castrate Lestrange.

He'd never felt so protective over a girl- unless you counted Lily but that was different. Normally he just let his girls fight for themselves- and they complained about it.

Not Hestia. She seemed determined to fight her own battles. And he was determined to keep her safe.

So when he saw Bellatrix Lestrange nearly kill her with an unforgivable curse he may or may not have lost it.

Okay, so he totally lost it.

He completely forgot the fact that Hestia was a very bright witch and that she really, really, really hated the whole knight in shining armor act.

He forgot Rodolphus and sent so many curses at his cousin when he was through, she was unrecognizable. As he turned back to Rodolphus, he saw random shock and anger in his eyes.

Oh yeah. Sirius had just creamed his wife. Maybe not so random shock and anger. Sirius raised his wand quickly, but he didn't have too. Rodolphus was at his wife's side, cradling her head. Sirius rolled her eyes.

"Oh like you actually love her" he said before stunning him. He scanned the room. There were two Death Eaters that hadn't been blinded or stunned and Remus seemed to be making quick work of them.

He caught Hestia's eye and paled at the anger in them.

"You didn't have to do that" she huffed. He shrugged.

"Yeah I kinda did" he answered. She huffed again and rolled her eyes. He knew she was mad so he did the most logical thing he could.

He kissed her.

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><p>Kissing Sirius was different than usual. He wasn't just trying to shut her up- well that was part of it, but really he was trying to get her to understand. Understand why he had to protect her, why he acted like her knight in shining armor.<p>

To understand how much he loved her.

When the kiss broke, Hestia realized something herself. She realized that with Sirius, she didn't mind as much being the 'damsel in distress' it made her feel wanted, special.

Her mind stayed foggy for a few moments after the kiss. Then she snapped out of it.

"I am not a damsel in distress" she reminded Sirius sternly, but he could tell the fire behind her statement was gone.

"Okay" he whispered back and Hestia actually got chills. Then she remembered Lily.

"Hey do you know where Lily went- and why?" she asked hurridley. How could she forget the very reason she was out hear freezing her arse off?

"No" Sirius said just as worried. Hestia began looking around anxiously, kicking the arms of stunned Death Eaters.

"You saw her leave" Sirius pointed out. Hestia huffed.

"Really? Thank you so much for that insight. It just so happens I am looking for the reason _why_!" she spat.

Sirius smiled sheepishly. Hestia raised her eyes from the ground to the exit and gasped.

"James" she breathed. Sirius looked at her confusedly. Hestia rolled her eyes. She grabbed his hand and began running. On the way out of the cave, she saw Remus finish off the last two Death Eaters. She motioned him to join them and then kept running, not even looking back to see if he was with them.

She knew exactly what had happened. James was gone- and Lily went to find him. Lily wasn't stupid. If she'd found him they'd be together here in the cave.

But they weren't.

So where were they? And why were they there?

* * *

><p>Remus breathed a sigh of relief. The lights had worked. Most of the Death Eaters were blinded and passed out. The ones that weren't were easy pickings and for the first time in a long time he was confident he and his friends would be getting out of there alive. That is until he saw Lily leave.<p>

He knew Lily; they'd been friends for a long time. She wouldn't leave the scene of a battle unless there was a place she was needed more. He hadn't seen James leave- but he had noticed his absence.

He knew James even better than Lily and he _definitely _would not leave a battle scene without a plausible reason. Especially battle scenes with Lily anywhere near it.

So the big question was where did he go?

He finished the opponents with ease and looked around for something to do next. Hestia was towing Sirius out and beckoning him to come too.

When he saw the look on her face, he knew she knew something. Sirius was obviously oblivious- but that was nothing new. When was he not oblivious?

Remus followed them hurriedly. He jumped over and avoided the fallen Death Eaters and soon he was at the exit. What he saw made him catch his breath.

No James and a full on staring contest between Lily and the most powerful and evil wizard of all time.

Only Lily would enter a staring battle with the worst person alive.

Only Lily.

Remus and Sirius had the same idea. Both of them ran straight towards the two people. But a warning hand from Hestia stopped them both. She pointed at the opening and touched it gently. Her hand was thrown back violently.

A barrier. Voldemort had set up a barrier.

Remus held a finger to his lips. Voldemort hadn't seen them yet. If they could get through the barrier, they could sneak up on him.

Remus sighed. Yet another hurtle.

Brilliant.

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><p><strong>Sorry it was late!<strong>


	24. Hey There Voldy

**Disclaimer- If I had all the money J.K Rowling does I would not be writing this- I would be reading my own books on a beach, sipping a fruity drink. Which clearly I am not.**

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><p><strong>A:N Three reviews. THREE. Do you know how depressing that is? I know last week was late but three? Three of you are perfect. Three of you are amazing. The rest of you are lazy. Thanks guys. Thanks a lot. **

**To the three people who did review- I love you, you are perfect, gorgeous, amazing, and my favorite people ever.**

**NarglesAreBehindIt**

**jwtwifan**

**HarryJamesPotter31**

**I love you soooo much!**

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><p>Lily had never been so close to something so evil. At first she was staring into his cold, dead eyes with awe. Now, after seeing what he'd done to James her eyes popped with rage. They stayed that way for a while. Noses nearly touching, eyes locked. Neither one of them wanted to give up the power they knew came from holding a gaze.<p>

Good thing Lily was the all time champion of Girl Scout staring contests. You know before she got kicked out for setting the tents on fire. Curse accidental magic.

Lily felt like she'd been standing stock still for hours. Her hands were clenching and unclenching to a rhythm and her toes had started following suit in her threadbare shoes. She wanted desperately to break eye contact with Voldemort and run to James, but she knew she'd be dead on the ground the moment Voldemort got over his shock. She couldn't risk leaving James alone.

She tried to distract herself from the fact that she was staring down the most evil wizard ever to walk the planet. She tried to distract herself from the fact that the person she loved was currently glued to a rock wall. She tried to distract herself from the fact that James was crying.

She tried but she didn't succeed. So she focused on just one of the things on her list of shit as she had now decided to call it.

Voldemort.

They both knew someone had to break contact- they just refused to be the one to do it. Eventually one would crack but Lily hated awkward silences- she wouldn't tolerate them- and this was the longest one she'd ever experienced. She'd never been the one to let the air go stale so she took a deep breath and in her calmest, clearest voice said:

"Well hey there Voldy"

Lily could tell by the darkening of Voldemort's eyes that he was less than impressed with her amazing use of nicknames. Keeping her eyes locked on his she continued, with a never wavering voice.

"Wait do you not like Voldy?" she asked innocently "Well, how about Vold? Mort? Volly? Morty? Marty's a stretch but we might be able to make it happen"

Voldemort's hand tightened on his wand. He raised that arm.

"Now Marty, you know I have one of those too" she said raising her own wand dead at his face.

She saw James flinch every word she said. She saw him shudder when Voldemort raised his wand, and she saw him utterly collapse when she raised her own. His eyes were closed.

He thought she was going to die. Lily smirked. She had a different plan. She abandoned the teasing tone.

"You know I'm not weak. You know despite being a mudblood" she paused waiting for his reaction to her saying the word with pride, she registered the shock on Voldemort's face then continued "I am a talented witch. You know that I would rather die than be on your side. And finally, you know that I will kill you before you get anywhere near my Marauders"

Lily finished with a sense of absolute finality. She raised her wand but a voice and a flash of silver in her peripheral vision made her stop.

"Miss Evans I quite liked your speech"

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><p>James watched Lily rush through the cave opening and felt his stomach drop. Why did it seem that they had the worst luck? He thrashed his arms and legs but he couldn't go to her. He screamed silently until his throat shredded but he couldn't warn her. He couldn't do anything.<p>

He felt like Lily and Voldemort stared at each other for a year and a half. He couldn't stand it. Although her face was emotionless, he saw her eyes go from surprised, to scared, to angry. His heart clenched. An angry Lily was a rash Lily. Who knows what she would say?

He saw her eyes flick to his position and her expression harden. She was even madder know he figured. As she opened her mouth James felt a tear fall down his cheek.

He was shocked to find that he didn't care.

If he was anywhere else- doing anything else he would immediately wipe them away and deny it ever happened to protect his manly reputation.

But now, he wouldn't wipe away the tears even if he had the physical ability to do it.

Every time Lily said something snarky he flinched. It felt like he was physically being beaten every time Voldemort's hands clenched at her words. She was pissing him off on purpose. It was killing him.

Voldy.

_Flinch._

Vold.

_Flinch._

Mort.

_Flinch._

Volly.

_Flinch._

Morty.

_Flinch._

Marty.

_Flinch._

Every time she came up with a new nickname he thought he might have a seizure. She was borrowing time and he could tell she knew it.

Especially when she used Marty. Marty?Really? That didn't even go with Voldemort's name! But apparently she was sticking with it.

Then Voldemort drew his wand. James breath caught in his throat and he felt a long shudder rack his body. He wanted to rip the snake man's head off. He wanted to tear him limb from limb.

But of course- that required the mobility of his body.

His must have dropped ten feet when Lily smiled, laughed, and raised her own wand. What was she thinking? She was a talented witch but she wasn't invincible! That man had a good twenty years of experience on her. She was screwed!

His body went limp and he couldn't feel the pain of being stuck to the wall anymore. His eyes closed and he waited for a scream. A scream that would define the rest of his life. A scream that would probably haunt him until the day he died- which now that he thought about it might not be so much of a problem considering he was stuck to the wall of a cave.

Then he heard Lily gasp and he thought it was over. She was strong enough to be killed and only gasp. But the voice he heard next made his eyes flit open in record speed.

Dumbledore.

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><p>Sirius silently threw his hands up in exasperation. He was so done with all of this. Remus kept reminding him to be quiet as he worked on a way to get them through the barrier, but quiet just wasn't Sirius' style.<p>

He'd already thrown himself at the wall and been thrown back three times. Despite Hestia's constant eye rolls and reminders that it clearly wasn't working, Sirius refused to believe that there really was a barrier between him and his friends who clearly needed help.

When he'd finally stopped uselessly throwing himself at a barrier that clearly was not going to move- he'd taken to pacing back and forth the cave and asking annoying questions.

"Are you done yet" He asked Remus for what must have been the thousandth time. Remus rolled his eyes and said as he had a thousand times

"No Sirius- now shut the hell up" Sirius huffed and resumed pacing. He didn't want to look at Lily staring at Voldemort. It was disturbing.

One of them would have to break eventually. His money was on Voldemort. He'd tried doing a staring contest with Lily- big mistake.

But when Hestia gasped he turned to look through the barrier at full speed. He saw immediately what Hestia saw. Lily was talking. Calmly. It seemed she was having a one sided every day conversation with the craziest person ever. And she was pissing him off.

Perfect. Just bloody perfect. Lily was pissing off a man who killed people for fun- he'd have no problem doing the same to Lily.

Sirius looked at Remus urgently. Remus nodded and resumed tampering with the barrier. Sirius' eyes moved to Hestia. Her eyes were locked on the scene before her and her mouth was open. Her hand was trembling and Sirius was scared she was going to fall over. He rushed to her side and wrapped his arms around her waist. She leaned against him and buried her face in his chest. Sirius stopped asking Remus if he was done and focused all of his attention on Hestia so when Remus grabbed his arm he jumped a little.

"What?" he said irritably, Hestia didn't need any more bad news. Remus smiled.

"I'm done"

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><p>Hestia couldn't move. She couldn't drop her gaze on the scene before her. Her best friend staring at You Know Who. It was like one of those horrible muggle horror movies Lily made her watch where the tension builds then BAM. The girl's head is gone and so is the crazy ax-murderer.<p>

Hestia watched the two stare each other down, barely breathing. Thank Merlin Lily was so good at staring. Must come from her extended time glaring at people as Head Girl. Just one of her many talents.

Another thing Lily was good at- breaking the ice. She'd never known a true awkward silence thanks to Lily. Her best friend couldn't stand the weird moments where no one has anything to say so she often made up random things on the spot to break up such times. Things like "did you know muggles have places called theme parks where they go to feel like they're flying?" That usually started a good conversation.

Hestia couldn't imagine a time when no one was there to do that. She shuddered. She knew Lily was going to open her mouth just by seeing the scene. But she still gasped when she started serenely ticking You Know Who off.

Of course that attracted the attention of Sirius and Remus. They were just as worried at she was that Lily's sharp sarcasm would be the death of her. The literal death of her.

She didn't want to watch but she couldn't move. She knew she must look like an idiot standing there with her mouth wide open, still as a piece of wood. She wanted to cry but she couldn't.

Hestia didn't cry. Ever. But today- she was scared she might. Then she felt arms wrap around her and she knew immediately it was Sirius being her knight in shining armor again. Despite wanting to refuse his help, she buried her face in his chest and didn't move it until Remus told them he had cracked the barrier.

She raised her head and nodded to Sirius. Together they walked through the barrier and out of the cave.

* * *

><p>Remus was about to snap and take Sirius out. If his friend kept asking him if he was done- he never would be. He huffed after snapping an answer to Sirius' question-again- and resumed his work on the barrier.<p>

He'd started by examining every single place the barrier covered. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Every place the barrier covered was a place they couldn't touch. He knew that from 1. Sirius' ridiculous notion that the more times he hit the weaker it would become and 2. He'd thrown stick and things at it to see if there was a weak spot. There had to be one. How did Voldemort expect his Death Eaters to get out?

Of course he might use a counter curse….

No, Remus thought, that wasn't Voldemort's style. He'd want to humiliate them. Make it something obvious enough to make them want to hit their heads with their hand when he told them before killing them.

Something natural. Something already there. There wasn't much in the cave- maybe a few twigs.

And rocks.

Remus looked up from the barrier excitedly to tell Sirius and Hestia but they seemed a bit erm….wrapped up so he decided just to do it himself.

Every rock he could see he felt to see if it was different than the others. Maybe it was bigger or darker in color. It had to be something right in front of him- something most people would never find.

Remus decided after a good ten minutes that if he never saw another rock in his life he would be content.

He was on the second to last one and he still hadn't found anything. His hope was fading. Maybe he was wrong and it _was _a counter curse. He felt stupid- but he examined the rock anyways.

The top of it was cold and it had clumpy, dark dirt on it. He looked around again. The dirt was displaced around it.

That meant it had to have been dug up or turned over. He searched the rock for anything unusual.

Nothing.

Maybe it was just an upturned rock. He shouldn't have gotten so excited by it.

But then- could it really be that simple?

He turned the rock over and put it back in it's place. Hesitantly he threw a nearby twig at the barrier.

It went straight through. Remus gave a silent cheer before turning to Sirius and Hestia and saying:

"I'm done" he said with a big smile. They nodded. Remus took a deep breath and walked out of the cave.

His breath immediately caught in his throat.

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><p><strong>On time!<strong>


	25. And Then She Promptly Fainted

**A:N/ Hey guys! So I left this one short because I had a bit of a hectic day and I kind of like it this way. So I have some morose news. I think this story might be coming to an end. Now don't get out the the pitchforks! I just feel like it isn't going anywhere but a dead end, so maybe I should go ahead and stop it. I'll probably write something new... I just don't know what to do about this one! Suggestions?**

**Thanks to the FIVE people who reviewed! (Better than three! I'll take it!)**

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**Thanks beauties!**

**Discalimer- Not me. Still not me. Never will be me. NOT J.K ROWLING!**

Lily's head whipped around so fast she was surprised it didn't break. Her mouth fell open when she saw the familiar half moon spectacles and long white beard of Albus Dumbledore. She gasped.

"Well it's about bloody time!" she said gesturing towards Voldemort "Do you not see the current situation I'm in?"

She heard a gasp behind her. She swirled around to see her three friends, wands pointed, mouths open, standing in a protective half circle shape around her. How did she not notice them?

The gasp had come from Sirius. Of course.

"Lily that is no way to talk to your elders!" he scolded. Lily let out an out of place giggle. Dumbledore's eyes twinkled.

"On the contrary Mr. Black, Miss Evans makes a very valid point. I do apologize" he stated clearly, mischievous twinkle leaving his eyes as he turned to Voldemort. "I had quite a time getting here" Dumbledore didn't explain, and no one was brave enough to ask why so there was an uncomfortable silence instead.

Which Lily promptly broke.

"That's fine Professor, you'd only be truly late if I was dead" she said bluntly grabbing the attention of her friends. "Would you mind unsticking my boyfriend though? I have a feeling I'll collapse at some point- it seems to be a theme- and I assume he'd rather like to catch me"

Sirius, Remus, and Hestia started on her use of the word 'boyfriend' but they kept silent. Dumbledore chuckled and did as she asked.

As James peeled himself carefully from the rock, Voldemort twitched but didn't make a move. James rushed to Lily's side. He held her hand delicately, careful of the bruises he was sure she had.

"Mr. Potter" Dumbledore said gently. James raised his head and caught the small item he'd thrown to him. He looked at it curiously. It was a midnight blue orb, and as soon as it touched his hand it lit up and a holographic compass shimmered above it.

"Please escort Miss Evans back to the castle" Dumbledore said, causing James to raise his eyes off the gadget. "It should heat up and glow when you are going the right direction"he said not removing his eyes from Voldemort. "Take your friends as well"

Lily was sure James would have argued- but she must look really bad so he just nodded. Lily sighed. She could feel the adrenaline that had been pumping through he And looked at Voldemort. She was shocked he hadn't said anything yet. She turned.

He was gone.

That bloody coward.

"Well alright then" she said out loud. Everyone looked at her. She gestured wildly. "He's gone!"

Then she promptly passed out.

James caught Lily swiftly and looked up worriedly.

"Just follow the orb right?" he said quickly. Dumbledore sighed and the chuckled.

"I'm afraid that's nothing but a charmed Remembrall" he said "I knew that he would leave if it was just me and him" he said as though reminiscing.

The teenagers were too worried about Lily to notice his use of 'Tom'. Hestia had hurried to Lily's side as soon as she'd fallen, with Remus and Sirius close behind.

"I think" Dumbledore continued "I can handle an apparation for all of you" he said thoughtfully. Remus looked up from Lily's limp body incredulously.

"But you can't-" he started, but was cut off with Dumbledore.

"Mr. Lupin I believe I can bend that particular rule" he said, eyes twinkling. "Would you all please take my hands" he said holding out both of his hands. Each of the boys nodded and took his hands.

James morosely lifted Lily's fingers so she too could be apparated. Dumbledore gave her a tender look. James kept his eyes on her as he felt the tug on his belly button. When he raised his head, they were in the hospital wing.

"Oh my!" the new nurse, Madam Pomfrey exclaimed. "You've found her! Quick get her to a bed" She bustled around, grabbing potions and books of shelves as she went.

James put Lily down gently on the bed nearest to him. He let go over legs but refused to drop her hand. He softly brushed a strand away from her face.

"Wha-wha... what happened?" the shaking voice of Hestia reminded James that he and Lily weren't alone. He looked to Dumbledore curiously. What had happened?

Dumbledore sighed." I believe the experience has just now caught up to her" he said gently. "She is in very bad condition and her body is just now realizing such"

James had nearly forgotten all that Lily had been through. Had he not noticed the blue tinge to her skin? The bruises that painted her body? How could he have missed the cuts and scrapes? She'd been through Hell more times than the devil himself!

"Will she be okay?" Remus' voice was soft and halting. As if on cue, Madam Pomfrey reapearred from the back store rooms. Remus turned to her and repeated his question. She ignored him and began casting spells to see how bad the damage to Lily's body truly was.

"broken" muttered under her breath. James cringed, just like he had when she'd muttered 'bruised' and 'infected'.

The nurse had long since given up on getting him to release her hand. Hestia had latched on to her other one. Sirius and Remus were standing demurely behind them, hands on her shoulders.

Halfway through Madam Pomfrey's examination, apparently the ministry had to be notified.

Half an hour later, examination done, Madam Pomfrey started mending Lily's broken bones. According to her, the stress on Lily's body was just too much, so it had shut down.

James decided he didn't like the term shut down. Lily wouldn't shut down.

Finally, after what seeemd like days to James, Madam Pomfrey was done.

"Now we just have to see if she wakes up" she stated sadly, collected her supplies. James' head snapped up, along with Remus, Sirius, and Hestia's.

"What do you mean _if_?" Hestia said through gritted teeth. Jams watched as Sirius put his hand on her hers and squeezed. Would he ever do that with Lily? '

"she's been through a lot" the nurse explained "I don't know if her body can take it" James gasped as Hestia broke into sobs.

"She'll wake up" Remus said- but James could hear his uncertainty. He gripped her hand harder and said

"She has to"


	26. Lily Was Awake

**A:N/ Hey! On time AND the right length. I know you love me. Thanks to everybody who reviewed:**

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**anonymous**

**And ESPECIALLY thanks to Ranma's girl1 who gave me advice and a lot of ideas for this chapter! **

**REVIEW. Hope you love it!**

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><p><strong>Disclaimer- If I was J.K Rowling I would've been tooting my own horn all over this dang story.<strong>

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><p>Madam Pomfrey had finally gotten James to leave the infirmary, with the promise that he could come back as soon as his classes were over. She'd given him the full work up- James didn't think it was fair that all he ended up with was a few scratches and a badly sprained ankle.<p>

Lily still wasn't awake.

He'd sat and talked to her for the past four hours and still nothing.

Lily's other friends had tried too. Her limp body was surrounded by candy and presents. It seemed everybody had missed their Head Girl.

He almost missed History of Magic because he waited until the very last second to leaver her. His robes were wrinkled and his hair was messier than usual. There were stains on his tie and his socks were dirty.

And he couldn't care less.

Lily had been asleep for two days. Two. Whole. Days. Who cared about personal grooming?

A late first year gawked at him as he raced to class. Another reason he'd waited until the last possible second to leave the hospital. Ever since he'd walked through the front doors with a fainted Lily hovering behind him, he'd been attracting the attention of everybody. He could barely get through the corridors peacefully anymore.

A month ago he would have reveled in the attention. Today he just wanted to tell them to back the hell off.

All the looks he got were either glares (Slytherins) or even more annoying- the pity look. Like he was a kicked puppy or something. If Lily were awake she'd stand on the table in the Great Hall and tell everybody to stop- she was alive. But of course, she wasn't, and of course they weren't sure she'd stay that way.

And he was supposed to go to History of Magic after all of this?

He pushed the door to his classroom open roughly, ignoring the shocked stares of his classmates. He knew what he looked like- he just didn't care. Why should he?

James slammed his books down next to Sirius. Sirius didn't even look up. He knew all about his friends moods- now was not the time to push him.

"Hey" James said grumpily. Professor Binns hadn't even notice the sudden distraction in his class- he just kept droning on and on clueless to the fact that his class was paying more attention to James than his lesson.

James didn't even try to take notes, he knew he wasn't going to get anything done.

His mind was still on Lily. He knew she'd yell at him if she knew how much he was obsessing but he couldn't help it.

He could feel eyes boring into him and he did his best to ignore them. He could see them start to look away as Sirius made it his personal mission to stare down every one of them until he stopped.

Suddenly a piece of parchment was charmed to land in front of him. James didn't even notice. Sirius gave him a slight shove, breaking his deep concentration on the depth of Lily's eyes. He glared at his friend, but picked up the parchment anyways. It only had two words written on it in Sirius' handwriting-

_You okay?_

James chuckled to himself and took out a quill and wrote under it in his own messy scrawl:

_No._

* * *

><p>It was the first time ever that Severus Snape wasn't in class- and nobody seemed to notice. He'd slipped out of History of Magic without a mere glance from Binns- but that was to be expected, he was a ghost after all.<p>

The hard part was going to be Madam Pomfrey. She was kind but strict and didn't like to allow visitors to see her patients. But Severus had to see Lily.

He had to.

He had tried to apologize with words and actions but it didn't seem to be enough. At least this way he could apologize without her running away- maybe she wouldn't remember it. That would be good.

As he stealthily slid through the hallways towards the Hospital Wing he started to think of what should say.

_Sorry I called you a mudblood and was part of the organization that tried to kill you. Three times._ Just didn't sound right.

When he finally reached the double doors that led to the Hospital Wing, Severus hesitated. He wasn't used to saying sorry. He had realized early on that his parents didn't care if he apologized or not- he'd still get the punishment. What if he was no good at it?

Who was he kidding nobody was going to hear him.

He hurried in nervously checking for the nurse- it seemed she was on break.

His breath caught in his throat when he saw her.

She was pale and her eyes were closed- hiding the beautiful green eyes he knew so well. She was in a loose white night gown. Her hair had been brushed- Hestia had been there.

Lily.

She looked so peaceful, so beautiful. He almost turned around as not to disturb her but thought better of it. He walked slowly to the bedside and hesitated before brushing a stray auburn hair out of her face.

He sighed. He missed her friendship so must. His hand darted forward, but he pulled it back at the last second. He took a deep breath and grasped her cold hand.

A tear leaked out of his eye and he wiped it away furiously.

"Lily" he whispered. "I am so sorry!" he gasped, crying freely now. "For everything- I know I've been a prat and you'll never forgive me but at least I can tell you now that-" Severus coughed.

He couldn't say it. The three words that had consumed him from the age of six.

"The thing is Lily...I-I-I I love you" the words spilled out of him and when they were out he shoved his hand over his mouth and cried harder.

He started as Lily shifted slightly under his hand. A soft voice cut through his tears

"James"

Severus leaped up from where he was sitting and ran from the room.

* * *

><p>Lily was having the worst dream. First she was tortured, then she ran away and met a huge spider, then there was fire and finally a standoff with Voldemort himself.<p>

And that wasn't even the scary part.

The scary part was that once Voldemort had fled, her vision had changed to a little house with pretty curtains and family photos.

That wasn't the scary part either. The scary part was who was in the family photos.

She recognized herself immediately. That was weird- James Potter was holding her around her waist. Didn't she hate him? A small voice told her that was wrong but she ignored it.

Even weirder was the small baby boy she held in her arms. When she first noticed him, she started. He had her eyes- and the beginnign of what looked like the infamous Potter hair.

Could he be?

No. She wouldn't have married James Potter. The small voice told her to remember her previous dream. They'd been pretty close in that one- but it was just a dream right?

Lily shook the weird feeling and starting exploring the house. It was decorated exactly as she had pictured her future house being. It was strange to see it so perfectly laid out in front of her.

In the kitchen, a pot of her favorite tea was brewing and her mother's china was on display in a nearby hutch. It must be her house if her mother's china was here. It had been left to her, much to Petunia's chagrin. The Weird Sisters calender on the wall marked it as July 1980.

She made her way into the living room. The sight there startled her so much she toppled over.

It was herself. Laughing happily on the couch while James Potter clapped for what appeared to be their son on a toy broomstick.

She fell hard on her back and the cursed. Surely the group had heard her. But when she looked at them, they hadn't seemed to notice. They just went happily right along joking and laughing. She could just barely make out their conversation-

"Shut up James" her eyes widened at her own voice.

"No really Lils I think he might do it!" the deep voice of James Potter spoke back. She found it strangely comforting.

"I will not have you putting wild quidditch star ideas into my son's head Potter" the other Lily said. Lily chuckled despite herself as James picked up the other her and swirled her around.

The second Lily giggled like a school girl.

The real Lily screamed at the top of her lungs, flapping her arms around like an idiot. No answer- they couldn't hear or see her.

"Potter is it, Evans?" James said jokingly as he swirled her around again. The real Lily couldn't help but smile. If this was the future- she might actually enjoy it.

Then the scene changed.

As the room swirled around her she gasped. She landed roughly in the same place she'd just left but now the other her was bringing tea to James as he conjured up bubbles for their son. She looked out the window- it was a different time of day and the calender had been set forward a few months.

She heard a shout and raced to the living room. For some reason she felt oddly scared for the family.

" Lily! Take Harry and run!" she heard James Potter yell. She watched them argue and saw herself run upstairs with Harry. Her mouth dropped all the way to the floor when the face of Voldemort loomed over James. She gasped again.

James had no wand.

She started crying when James was struck down with one blow.

Voldemort continued upstairs. Lily followed him quickly.

"Not Harry! Please not Harry! Take me instead!" she heard herself say. She watched in horror as the evil man laughed at her and raised his wand.

She covered her eyes, unwilling to see what she knew was about to happen.

Then she heard it. His voice.

James' voice.

"Lily" he said. She shook her head. He was dead. He was gone.

"Lily" she heard again.

She opened her eyes.

They were immediately met with hazel ones.

They had to be the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.

* * *

><p>James had no idea why he was even doing it. After all, it was Snivellus who had told him too.<p>

At the end of History of Magic, James bolted out of the classroom so fast, none of his friends could keep up. He had to get to Herbology and his theory was that if he went fast enough, nobody would see enough of him to stare.

Or at least he wouldn't see them.

Of course, his theory didn't work. They never did. Every person he passed had the annoying urge to stare straight at him.

As if he already wasn't mad at the world enough.

He kept barreling through the hallways despite the curious eyes following him. He didn't notice the boy in front of him until they'd slammed together.

James was knocked over, but the other boy seemed to have expected it and remained upright. He gave James his hand but James ignored it. He growled.

Snivellus.

"What do you want" he growled. As far as he was concerned Snape deserved to be shot.

"Go to the hospital wing. Now." he said gruffly. James looked at him and his eyes narrowed.

"why" he said shrewdly, ready to tear him apart if he said he'd been to see Lily. He didn't deserve to see her.

"Just go." Severus said before waking quickly away.

And James did.

He didn't know why, but he did know that Snape loved Lily and that had to mean something.

He skived off Herbology- his professor wouldn't care- she knew about Lily.

Now he was sitting in front of Lily and he had no idea why. But he did like to sit with her. He grabbed her hand.

"Hey Lils" he choked on the words. Did her eyelids flutter?

"Lily" he breathed hopefully- Did her fingers move?

"Lily" he said again. Nothing happened. He gasped.

Green eyes were trained on him now.

Lily was awake.


	27. What Happned? I Was in the Kitchen!

**A:N/ Hi folks! On time and hopefully good! A little more fluff I think, not as good as last week's but oh well. I love you guys for reviewing! Thanks to:**

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: Not J.K Rowling. Never will be. But I can always dream.<strong>

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><p>"Seriously I'm fine!" Lily said, exasperated. Her friends had been fussing over her ever since she'd left the the hospital wing.<p>

Remus wouldn't let her carry her stuff and Hestia had taken the initiative to, against Lily's express orders, levitated her up three feet off the ground. Sirius and James were walking in front and behind her respectively, wands drawn.

In short, they were being ridiculous. All she wanted to do was go sit down in a fluffy arm chair with _Pride and Prejudice_ and for once- just sit. That was definitely not going to happen with the death squad surrounding her.

"Merlin people Voldemort's not going to appear in the hallways anytime soon!" The group stopped short. Remus turned to face her with a pleasant smile on his face.

"Lily dear, we don't really care what you say. You will be escorted everywhere until we deem it okay for you not to be" he said firmly before turning back around and walking away.

Lily huffed.

"This is stupid! I've been in the hospital wing for _forever_! Even Madam Pomfrey agreed that I am perfectly fine!"

The group remained silent.

Lily huffed again.

James rolled his eyes. "Lily, we're not leaving your side. Suck it up. Two weeks in the hospital wing is not enough to console us"

Unable to turn around to glare at him, she crossed her arm and gave up the battle. Honestly it was only a few bruises. And scars. And bit of a headache. But other than that she was perfectly healthy! But say that to her friends.

Her only comfort was the lack of people around to witness her humiliation. It was a weekend so most of the students were gone. The one's who weren't were holed up in the Library, or in the common room.

When they reached the portrait of the Fat Lady, the group halted. Sirius opened his mouth to give her the password but was cut off:

"Deary! I thought you were dead!" the blunt voice of the Fat Lady cut through the silence. Sirius snorted while Hestia put her head in her hands. Lily giggle lightly.

"Alive, kicking, and perfectly fine" she said, emphasizing the last part. Her friends rolled their eyes.

"Well I'm very glad, you are the only person who can keep these rowdy Gryffindors in line" the portrait said opening the door without the password, completely oblivious to the awkward tension and the fact that Lily was floating off the ground.

"Thank you" Lily said. Sirius was all out laughing at her now. The group started moving again.

"Stop!" Lily hissed. Surprised by her sudden, they did.

"I would appreciate walking into the common room without a protective circle and with my feet _on the ground'_ she said calmly.

Hestia looked at James who nodded. Slowly, she lowered Lily to her feet. When her feet hit the ground, she staggered but refused help when all of her friends rushed to help her.

"Thank you, now put your damn wands away" she said forcibly. Without looking back, she strode into the Gryffindor common room.

* * *

><p>James was sure his eyes were going to fall out. He'd been glaring at every Gryffindor in the common room for the past twenty minutes.<p>

When Lily had first walked through the doors, there was a hushed silence. It gave James the impression that every single person had been talking about her. The silence, James knew, Lily could handle. But when the awed, pitied, shocked gazes fell on her, he felt himself get angry.

Why would anyone want to be stared at after nearly dying?

Lily didn't seem to mind. In fact, she walked straight to her usual arm chair and plopped down like she'd been doing nothing but studying for the past month. James watched her as she silently accio-ed a book from the girls' dorm.

He an Sirius exchanged quick glances before they each took a spot on the arm rests beside her. Remus and Hestia took places on the couch directly in front of her.

If Lily cared, she didn't show it. Her eyes trained on the book she'd conjured. James took it upon himself to glare at every person who even glanced Lily's way.

Sirius and Remus had started a game of Wizard's Chess and Hestia was writing a Charm's essay. They were all doing something, but non of them were truly paying attention. Their attention was trained on Lily. They were too worried to care about anything but her at this point.

One by one, all of the Gryffindors came to Lily to tell her how glad they were she was back and how much they had missed her.

"We missed you so much!"

"I'm so sorry you had to go through all that"

"Did it hurt really bad?"

"Did you actually see _him_?"

The group heard them all. Sometimes Sirius would snort, occasionally Hestia would yell at somebody, it just depended on what they said.

James could tell Lily was tired of it, but she kept a straight face when she thanked them.

Every so often, he'd look back at Lily and they'd make eye contact-to make sure she was okay.

After a while, when he'd look back at her, she'd give him a glare that clearly said _you are paranoid_.

Which, he gladly admitted, he was.

It was his fault nearly died in he first place- no way was he leaving her alone for even a second. Lily seemed to understand his need to be by her side, because she didn't say anything.

Pretty soon, the novelty of Lily wore off and most of the students had gone of to bed. Most of the students who had visited Hogsmeade were back, had talked to Lily and were on their way up to bed.

Lily was halfway through her book when it happened.

* * *

><p>"Hey Lily"<p>

A familiar voice dragged Lily from her book. She looked up to see Amos Diggory smiling down at her. She felt James stiffen beside her, but was glad when he didn't do anything.

Lily refrained herself from rolling her eyes and opted for a small smile instead.

"Hey Amos" she replied. Amos Diggory was possibly the most annoying person she'd ever met. They'd dated for a while- that didn't end well. He didn't seem to understand the meaning of _breaking up._ He was sorely convinced they were just on a break. He was just so arrogant. How he managed to be a Hufflepuff she would never understand. Speaking of which how did he get into the Gryffindor common room?

Amos seemed to have guessed her question because he pointed to a badge on his chest-

"Prefect" he said, puffing out his chest. Lily stifled another eye roll.

"I forgot, sorry" she said shortly. Lily was in no mood to talk- looking at her watch she saw that it was ten thirty. She cursed silently. One of Madam Pomfrey's conditions for letting her out so early was that she'd be in bed by ten every night. Well that ship sailed. Lily got up slowly and stretched, repressing a strong urge to groan as every part of her body screamed in protest.

She could not, however, suppress a wince and a look from James told her she'd probably have twice as much attention from him now.

Bloody brilliant.

"If you'll excuse me Amos, I really should get up to bed- I'm past my curfew" she said politely. Sirius and Remus' head snapped up from their game and both of them stood up along with Hestia who's parchment, Lily noticed, was blank.

James had stood up as soon as she'd even had the thought too- just another one of the things she suddenly discovered she loved about him- his ability to read her mind.

"Curfew?" Amos snorted "Since when do you have a curfew?" Lily stared at him shrewdly. She didn't like his suggestive tone. She glanced to James who's eyes were hard. Lily turned back to Amos, she was so not in the mood for a testosterone war.

"Since I nearly died in a forest and am extremely tired at around ten" she said sharply. She regretted her words immediately when the hurt registered on Amos' face. She hadn't meant to be so rude.

"Sorry" she said tiredly "I didn't mean to be rude, I'm just a little exhausted" The expression on Amos' face turned into a sly smile. He gave a slight nod as an acceptance to her apology.

"Do you think I could talk to you….alone?" he asked with a nervous glance towards James. Lily gave a questioning look up at James who gave a slight jerk of the head.

She supposed that meant yes. Maybe he really was maturing.

"Okay" she sighed "but make it quick" She felt the eyes of her friends follow her all the way to the corner on the other side of the room where Amos stopped and turned towards her abruptly.

"Look Lily" he started. Lily was a little worried. Why did he need to talk to her alone?

"I know what Potter did and if you want me to do something about- I can" he said. Lily gaped. Was he serious. Amos held up a hand to stop her words of protest.

"I know he seems like a good guy- but you can't let him get away with nearly getting you killed. Now I can take care of him and then you and I can go up to your room and get some sleep" he said with a wink, sliding his hand up and down her arm.

Lily threw up a little in her mouth.

Was she hearing right? He wanted her to sleep with him. After she had nearly died and just got out of the hospital wing? He hadn't even asked if she was okay. He hadn't even cared. All he wanted was sex.

And now Lily was pissed. She pulled her arm away from him angrily.

"Are you kidding me?" she seethed. Amos' face contorted.

"You want me to sleep with you- now? I just got out of the hospital wing you daft jerk!" Lily's voice raised with every word.

"Why would you even suggest something that-that-that disgusting!" she screeched at the top of her lungs. Amos eyes hardened.

"The Lily I used to know was tough enough to handle it" he said gruffly. "Besides- who needs you? It was just going to be pity sex anyways! Who wants a damaged little thing like you?" His eyes were wild and his voice loud.

Lily felt tears rise to her eyes. She turned around promptly and slapped him across the face. Amos looked at her in shock, feeling the red spot on his cheek. He took a step toward her.

"You little-" suddenly three wands were pointed at Diggory's chest and James' was on his forehead.

"Finish that sentence and see what happens" he growled pushing Lily behind him. Lily breathed a sigh of relief.

"Now listen here" Amos said loudly but a poke from Sirius' wand shut him up.

"Never" James said, poking Amos with his wand on every word "threaten, proposition, taunt, or even talk to my girlfriend _ever_ again. Are we clear?"he said low and threatening.

Amos, the wimp he was, nodded vigorously and ran out the portrait hole. The group watched him with scathing looks on their faces.

What a loser.

In true Lily Evans style, Lily was the first to break the silence.

"If everyone's done asking me to sleep with them, will you take me the the Head's Dorms James?" she said.

Every head turned to her. Only Lily.

James turned to her. "Are you okay?" he asked urgently. Lily waved him away, nodded, and gestured towards the portrait hole.

James nodded and followed her, giving a relieved glance to all of his friends.

Peter ran in two seconds later yelling "What happened? I was in the kitchens!"


	28. Waltzing to the Great Hall

**A:N/ Bit of a short chapter- my apologies! Well know I love you all so I don't have to repeat myself. Thank you for reading! R-E-V-I-E-W. I even spelled it out for you.**

**Thanks loads to:**

**Forever. Gryffindor :) 3**

**jwtwifan**

**NarglesAreBehindIt**

**HedwigandHarry**

**You guys are the best! Hope you like the chapter! (Actually tell me if you don't!)**

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><p><strong>Disclaimer- NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. N-O. NADA. ZILCH. NOT MINE.<strong>

Lily woke the next morning to an empty bed.

That was strange.

And when did she get Quidditch themed sheets? Then it hit her. She was in James' bed. She took a moment to look around. Posters of the Puddlemere United Quidditch Team plastered his walls and it was surprisingly clean. She was shocked to see at least five framed photos of her and a few more on the walls. They hadn't been dating last time James had been in this room. Had he had them up before?

She searched for him to tease him about it- but there was no James. Where was he? She searched her memories of the night before. She'd fallen asleep last night talking to him on the couch. He must have taken her upstairs to his own bed. Usually, she would have yelled at him.

But she wasn't ready to sleep alone yet.

She still had nightmares full of snake eyes and hissing. She saw the faces of Death Eaters in every shadow she saw. If she'd been alone, she wouldn't have fallen asleep at all.

Lily sighed and stretched her arms out, moaning at the tightness in her arms. Her eyes fell on the alarm clock by the nightstand.

She gasped. She was a good three hours late for her lessons.

What would her professors think? They all knew she'd been let out of the Hospital Wing- they'd think she was skiving!

Lily sat up as fast as she could- causing her head to pound and she became dizzy. She put her feet on the ground and involuntarily groaned.

She'd forgotten how sore she was. No part of her body was in peace, every atom of her being ached.

She thanked Merlin that James wasn't there because she knew he'd be all overprotective and annoying. He'd been that way last night too- to the point that Lily had actually silencio'd him.

Apparently Merlin was still on Vacation.

"Lily?" a loud, worried voice carrried from the common room. Lily cursed and prepared for Hurricane James\s to blow through. Not two seconds later, extremely loud footsteps could be heard from the stairs.

Quickly, Lily arranged herself in the most comfortable position she could sitting up on the bed and crossed her arms.

"Lily?" James wheezed as he opened the door to his room, clearly he'd run all the way up the stairs.

"James" she said, deathly calm. "Do you know what time it is?" James gulped and nodded. Lily could practically taste his fear.

"Almost time for lunch" he whispered. Lily's shoulder's tensed and she struggled to keep her voice level.

"And you didn't wake me up?" she seethed. James held his arms up in front of him. Was he telling her to calm down? Or protecting himself from her rage?

"I-I-I-I thought I'd let you sleep…you were so peaceful" he said sheepishly. James looked at the ground with a timid look on his face.

Lily melted. He was just too cute. She supposed as long as she wasn't going to get in trouble- wait.

"All the professors know of course!" she cut through the silence. The huge smile on James' face didn't help her goal to stay mad at him.

James, noticing her hesitation nodded vigorously and enveloped her into a large hug.

Which, true to Lily's style, was quickly ruined by the uncontrollable wince that racked her body when he pressed some of her muscles.

Lily cursed her head. Now James was going to be all scared for her well being. Great.

James let go of her immediately, hazel eyes scanning her body as though he could physically see her pain. Lily waved off his nervousness with her hand and began to stand up. Each movement felt like thousands of needles poking her, but she kept her mouth shut, hoping not to notify James.

She did a crappy job at it. Or maybe he just knew her too well.

He could see immediately through her brave face. Sighing quietly, he put one arm around her back and lifter her up, so her feet weren't touching the ground.

"James!" Lily protested. She refused to be the Damsel in Distress- she had a prince, that didn't mean he had to save her. That was more up Petunia's alley.

But James just gave her a sweet, innocent smile and laid her feet gently on his own, clasping her hands in each of his. Lily looked at him, shocked.

"Allow me, miss" he said politely.

And with that, he waltzed her to her room.

* * *

><p>James was worried that dancing, even on his feet, would hurt Lily, but she seemed to be having more fun than pain.<p>

He'd meant to just carry her to her room, but was suddenly struck by inspiration. He remembered overhearing (okay fine, he'd been eavesdropping) Lily telling her friend that her Dad had waltzed her around on his feet- he thought it might cheer her up.

Thank Merlin it did.

James was worried about Lily. He knew she didn't want to admit the pain she was in, and she refused to rest any longer than neccassary.

He hadn't woken her up this morning because he could tell she was out cold. The lines in her face had been erased, as though by magic. He hadn't seen that in a long time, and he probably wouldn't again.

He'd heard her sleep talking- she still had bad dreams. She'd done it in the Hospital Wing the most. Surprisingly, she had none the night before, but he was still scared for her.

The smell of apples cut through his thoughts, and James realized that Lily had walked past him. Her conditioner was so distinctive he thought. He hurried to the steps and found her struggling to find the best way to go down without hurting herself.

It obviously wasn't going well.

James felt tears brim in his eyes. He couldn't stand Lily being so lost and helpless. It wasn't in her nature.

"I got it" he said softly, putting one hand under her legs and the other under her back. He was surprised when she didn't make a sound- was the pain bad enough that she had to swallow her pride?

Lily seemed to guess his thoughts because she said:

"I could have made it down the steps. I just like having _you _carry me"

James glowed with pride, how many times he'd dreamed Lily Evans would say that about _him! _When they reached the bottom, James set her down on his feet again.

Lily looked at him warningly and said:

"James-" but James didn't hear the rest of it because he was already waltzing her out of the portrait hole.

They danced all the way to the Great Hall. Somewhere Lily had stopped complaining about being embarrassed and started laughing.

James loved her laugh. Sweet and tinkly. Slightly high pitched, but with a good couple of snorts mixed in.

Perfect.

Along the corridors everybody stared at the dancing couple, but James didn't care. He'd rather have them all stare because he was dancing with his absolutely _perfect_ girlfriend (a title he was shocked Lily had) than for the other reasons they'd been staring lately.

Lily didn't seem to mind either. But then again, Lily's specialty was ignoring what people thought of her.

Like he said before, she was perfect.

As they danced through the large doors into the Great Hall, all conversation stopped and everyone turned to stare at the couple.

But James didn't miss a beat, he kept going twirling Lily around again and again.

A few "Awwws" were heard a few confused "What's going on?" but other than that, dead silence. James caught a glimpse of Sirius and Remus, both grinning widely.

Lily could feel the eyes of every jealous girl (Heather Diggory) boring into her back, not saying anything because they felt bad that she'd nearly died.

James could feel the eyes of Severus Snape and several others (Amos Diggory) glaring him down for holding Lily so tightly.

But honestly?

They didn't give damn.


	29. I Wont Hesitate To Castrate You Too

**A:N/ Alright, how many sorry's do I have to put in this author's note to make you all forgive me? I know it's wayyyy overdue. I know it's short. I know you hate me. (insert rude names for me here) it's just that last Sunday was my birthday and I had a project to do and all that jazz- very stressful. Then this week is exam week and I have review for my History Exam (Dear Lord save me!) and I've also been just lazy. I haven't even run in like forever. I know. I suck. I got it. I'd just like to send a special thank you to one JamesandLily394 for lighting a fire under my butt and calling out my ridiculous lateness. Thank you dear, you may have possibly saved this story...I was a little uninspired these past two weeks. Thank _Merlin_ for you!**

**Thanks to:**

**JamesandLily394**

**HedwigandHarry**

**Ranma's girl1**

**NarglesAreBehindIt'**

**jg13145**

**JessandDarcy**

**IflipForHarryPotter**

**jwtwifan**

**For REVIEWING! DO IT AGAIN! It's like sunshine on a rainy day:) **

**I love you all and I'M SORRY!**

**Disclaimer- WOULD J.K ROWLING BE THIS LATE? I THINK NOT!**

* * *

><p>Lily shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Everybody's eyes were focused on her.<p>

Of course, it wasn't unusual for a lack of paying attention in History of Magic- the teacher was dead after all. Something about witch hunters- who really cared? Lily shifted again as she felt a new set of eyes fall on her.

She knew the class was boring but this was bordering on ridiculous. It was getting on her last nerve! She wasn't a kicked puppy on the side of the road- what happened, happened. Over. Done. She honestly wasn't in the mood to remember it every twenty three seconds.

A piece of paper fluttered around the room and landed on her desk. Lily rolled her eyes, barely opened the note, and peeked inside. When she looked up from it she sighed and plastered a fake smile on her face. Her eyes roved the room for whoever sent the note

_So glad you're back, we missed you!_

Her eyes fell on a waving Sarah Perkins. Lily fought the urge to roll her eyes again. It was the seventh sympathy note she'd gotten- all from boys who liked her or blonde bimbos who wanted to know the now famous and popular Lily Evans.

Lily clenched her hand when another note landed on her desk. She took a few deep breaths and pushed her nose to her parchment and vigorously faked taking notes, feigning nonobservance when three more notes and a lily fell on her desk.

A lily. Really. How original.

Lily allowed herself to look up for a microsecond to see what idiot had given her that. White teeth temporarily blinded her and a pompous smile made her eyes widen and go cold.

Amos Diggory.

Lily nearly blew her top right then and there. Did he really think a lily was going to make her not want to kill him? She'd taken down death eaters and he thought he stood a chance?

Yeah. Sure. Did her hair turn blonde without her noticing?

Lily still hadn't removed her eyes from Diggory's face when he caused another note landed on her desk.

She picked it up deftly. It was folded to be a flower.

A lily.

Lily rolled her eyes again- she didn't like lilies. Everybody knew that! She thought it was corny and cheating to rip off her name.

She liked daffodils.

At first, she made to throw the note like a muggle basketball into the trash bin- but on second thought, she was kind of curious to see what this fool had to say about her.

_Dear Lily-Flower,_

_Did you like my play on your name? I thought it was so sweet and it really summed up how much I care about you. I'd just like to apologize for the misunderstanding we had last night. I understand that you were tired and I'm sorry. I was just a little excited- you see you are so beautiful…my own personal Lily. I believe you were also in shock, you actually defend **James Potter! **You hate him Lily- surely they didn't hit you that hard! I think we can still be together- everybody knows we'd make beautiful babies. _

_All my love, _

_Amos Diggory_

Lily felt bile rise to her mouth. _My own personal Lily_ she read again. _Surely they didn't hit you that hard!_

Merlin's Wife's Bra.

Did he actually thing he still had a chance? Like she would take him back. Who the hell was he to act like he knew what she'd been through? He hadn't been there! The only person who actually understood it- well Amos trashed him pretty well.

A chance. He still thought he could get with her, like she was some slut that just _had_ to have Amos freaking Diggory.

_Maybe when Hell freezes over,_ Lily thought.

She took great pleasure in balling the note up and charming into zoom back at the person who sent it- except she may have slightly..._miscalculated_ and hit Amos directly in the eye.

Well isn't that just a coinky-dink.

Lily crossed her arm and grumbled, glaring at the shocked Amos clutching his eye and moaning.

Suddenly a large warm hand darted out from beside her and tugged her arm from her chest.

James grasped her hand and squeezed gently. Lily sighed and leaned into him.

_Yeah, I'll make beautiful babies _she thought.

_Just not with you. _

* * *

><p>James glared as Amos Diggory shamelessly ogled Lily. He was so jealous he thought he was going to scream- but he didn't think Lily would appreciate him drawing even more attention to her direction than she was already getting, so he went back to glaring at the people staring at Lily with pity.<p>

Clearly they didn't know her at all.

A few minutes later, James couldn't help but look back towards Amos Diggory.

He stifled a laugh.

A lily? He'd sent her a folded lily note? How thick could you get? Anybody who really knew Lily knew she hated being giving things that tied in with her name- she thought it was cheating to use such an obvious idea.

James stifled another wave of giggles. He'd known that since second year! Why in the name of Merlin's throbbing finger did Diggory think he could be with Lily if he didn't even know her favorite flower?

James saw Lily open the note, and unable to resist, he read over her shoulder.

_Dear Lily-Flower,_

_Did you like my play on your name? I thought it was so sweet and it really summed up how much I care about you. I'd just like to apologize for the misunderstanding we had last night. I understand that you were tired and I'm sorry. I was just a little excited- you see you are so beautiful…my own personal Lily. I believe you were also in shock, you actually defend **James Potter! **You hate him Lily- surely they didn't hit you that hard! I think we can still be together- everybody knows we'd make beautiful babies. _

_All my love, _

_Amos Diggory_

James almost jumped him right then and there. First of all- only he could call Lily, Lily-Flower... well and Sirius but whatever. Second, well the whole damn note was second! Care about you? Misunderstanding? Over excited?

Yeah it was a misunderstanding when you practically tried to rape her! James' face contorted and he could see his friends tensing up for a fight.

But what really pissed him off was _my own personal flower_.

What the hell? He thought. Why would he possibly think that? Lily is SO taken- by me!

And babies. BABIES. Whenever James thought about his future children they all had green eyes or red hair.

He had always hoped Lily imagined them like that too.

Every piece of that note just made James want to wring Diggory's neck. He glanced at Lily to see how she had taken the note- a feeling of dread quickly filled him...she didn't like it would she?

James almost laughed with delight when he saw the look of absolute rage on her face. He gave a huge smile when she sent the note back, straight into Diggory's eye.

She'd hated it! She was absolutely revolted by it!

James smiled again and pulled out his wand. Under the table he non-verbally charmed a piece of paper he'd written on into a daffodil and sneaked it into Lily's bag so she could find it later. He grabbed her hand and grinned even wider when she leaned into him.

Later, as they were walking to Transfiguration, a though struck James.

"Lily" he said to the small girl ruffling through her bag.

"Yes" she said distractedly.

"You weren't writing notes in History of Magic were you?"

Lily looked up and smiled mischievously.

"No James, I wasn't" James looked at her, confused.

"Well than what were you writing?" Lily smiled gleefully and started swinging their entwined hands back and forth.

"Oh, just the best ways to go about castrating Amos Diggory" she said loud enough, just so the very same boy could hear them.

James laughed as he ran away in terror.

"I love you Lily Evans" he said.

"I love you to James- but if you ever send me a note like that I won't hesitate to castrate you too"

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><p><strong>REVIEW. I LOVE YOU. SORRY.<strong>


	30. Insecurities

**A:N/ Hi my beautiful readers! See this- this is an update ON TIME! I know they've been scarce lately, and this one isn't exactly long but I was busy again and I tried super hard to get this up so be proud of me! It also isn't very good- I'm kind of in transition to regular flufffy stuff! I hope you do like it though.**

**REVIEW PLEASE.**

**Thanks to my wonderful reviewers:**

**JamesandLily394**

**iflipforharrypotter**

**jwtwifan**

**NarglesAreBehindIt**

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**jg13145**

**You rock!**

**Disclaimer- NOOOOOOO NOT MINNNNNEEE IT SUCKS I KNOOWWWW!**

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><p>Every class.<p>

Every single class.

She hadn't had one moment of peace all day. Everywhere she went more and more people gathered to gawk at the Great Lily Evans- escaper of Voldemort. Did she look like a zoo animal?

Did they not understand that she didn't want to be reminded of it? That nightmares were painful enough- one thousand people staring at her was making it worse?

Her only comfort was James who had taken it upon himself to curse people that asked her about it and glare at those who stared. He Marauders flanked her sides and walked her to every class- after a while nobody dared talk to her.

As if that wasn't enough for her to deal with- she'd been spending half her time refusing Amos Diggory's advances.

How could he not get the message? She'd declined him six times, given him detailed explanations of every way she was going to prevent his child bearing possibilities, and even kissed James right in front of him.

Nothing worked.

Apparently she was just playing "hard to get"

more like "never going to get"

Lily knew James was even more upset with this than she was- but he already had enough detentions from cursing the daft people who bothered her that McGonnagall had threatened detention.

Diggory had even started sending her paper lilies with notes as bad as the first in every class. Filled with his disturbing dreams about her and his plans for their future together- they made Lily want to puke. But they were even worse for James, his hands clenched every time she got a new one and he forced her to let him read them. The look on his face made her even angrier.

So she started to burn them.

And yet Diggory still didn't get the message.

Come on now, take a hint. Could any one person really be that daft?

As Lily walked out of her last class of the day, she burned yet another paper lily in her hand.

This was out of control.

So of course, when Amos Diggory showed up, she snapped. And being the idiot that he was, he didn't catch on and get the hell away from her.

"I WILL NEVER GO OUT WITH YOU" Lily screeched in his face before he could say a single word. The hand Amos had laid on her arm dropped limply to his side and she stormed away. As she practically ran to the Head's Room, she muttered under breath.

"Babies. Marriage. Git. Loser. Hate him"

Angrily saying the password (goshwork) Lily through herself into her favorite arm chair by the fire. She ripped open her bag and shoved her hand in, searching for her Potion's book. At least she could drown herself in that. Her roaming hand came up a few seconds later with a piece of paper clutched in it.

A daffodil. Well at least he got the flower right.

Merlin, was Amos Diggory that desperate? Did he have no life? She really was going to have to castrate him!

Lily stared at the small paper flower she'd just found. It had been nearly crushed by her large Arithmancy book. She held her wand up to burn it but something made her want to open it instead.

Sighing, Lily opened the daffodil, expecting yet another note filled with talk of babies and marriage.

Lily looked out the window at the Great Lake. Hah. Not going to happen. Not with him.

Lily's gaze fell back to the note and felt a huge smile cross her face. There were only three messily scrawled words on the unfolded paper- but she knew exactly who'd written them.

_I Love You_

James.

Lily's smile grew even bigger. She looked up and her eyes fell on him immediately. He was leaning against the door with a small smile on his face.

His lopsided grin made her heart melt. She got up quickly and ran to give him a hug.

When she reached him- he twirled her around and kissed her cheek. Lily let out a loud laugh and stood on her tiptoes to reach his ear

"I love you too"

* * *

><p>James shoved his wand back into his jeans and began stomping through the quickly parting crowd. Everybody knew he was pissed- Amos Diggory was hitting on Lily Evans.<p>

Nobody hit on Lily Evans.

At least, not since fifth year when Lucas Corner made the mistake of taking her to Hogsmeade….and woke up the next morning hanging upside down with purple hair.

What was Amos Diggory playing at?

James knew he was pretty close to taking off Diggory's head with his bare hands. I mean, come on! He thought. Who goes after another man's bird?

What kind of guy was Amos Diggory and how the hell did he get into Hufflepuff?

"more like a Slytherin" James muttered under his breath as he read yet another lily note.

_Lily Dear, don't play hard to get. We all know James never had a chance- don't tease me_

Was he serious?

But the scary thing wasn't that Amos Diggory was a git- it was that all those things had crossed James' mind too.

Had he ever had a chance? Was she just stringing him along? Hadn't he got her nearly killed- like a million times? Would she jump straight to Diggory as soon as she sorted out her real feelings about who was to blame?

James tried his best not to think about it.

But he did.

Jame sighed and left the dungeons, heading towards the Head's room. At least he'd see Lily soon.

On his way he saw something that made his stomach drop- Lily in the middle of the hallway with Amos Diggory.

Well at least they were only talking.

Then he grabbed her arm and James nearly beheaded him right then and there.

But then Lily did something that made his heart soar- she screamed at him and ran away, clearly heading towards their dorms.

As he struggled to catch up to her, he heard her mumble different things and he was sure he heard her say the word 'castrate'.

He followed her into their common room and watched as she angrily rustled through her bag- clearly mad. He sighed happily as she found the daffodil he had left.

Then he watched her face fall.

Damn! She thought it was another one from Diggory- like that git would take the time to find out she didn't like lilies.

He opened his mouth to set her straight, but stopped when a huge smile graced her face.

As corny as it was, her smile, made him smile.

He laughed as she ran to him. In a sudden moment of inspiration he picked her up, swung her around and kissed her cheek.

He hoped that was okay.

Apparently it was because not a moment later she said the one thing that chased all of his insecurities away.

"I love you too"


	31. Well Go Get Her You Git!

**A:N/ Hey my beautiful readers! How were your weeks? Mine was a little hectic, ergo the short chappie. My big sister graduated this week :) how great and totally sad is that! Well, I hope you like my rendition of over-protective James! **

**Thank you to:**

**jwtwifan**

**JessandDarcy**

**jg13145**

**HedwigandHarry**

**For being amazingly awesome and reviewing my last chapter :) you guys are clearly my favorites!**

**READ AND REVIEW!**

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><p><strong>Disclaimer- The amazingness that is J.K Rowling will always own the amazingess that is Harry Potter. I'm just hoping it'll rub off on me:)<strong>

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><p>Over the next week things died down. People stopped rudely pointing at Lily and James relaxed his glares a little bit.<p>

That particular evening the four Marauders and Lily were studying in the Head's dorm.

It seemed that the Marauders had finally realized that yes there were actually N.E.W.T.S to take.

Suddenly, Lily's head snapped up from it's position on James' lap.

"We graduate in two months" she said, eyes wide. Her friends gave her questioning looks. James chuckled.

"Did you just figure that out?" he said cheekily, earning him a slap from his girlfriend.

"No, I guess I knew, but with everything that happened…." she trailed off. The room quickly sobered.

"What's with the depressing faces?" Hestia's voice rang out from the portrait hole she'd just entered.

"I know you miss me, but really? This is ridiculous!" she joked, effectively breaking the ice. Soon everybody was laughing, rolling on the floor even.

"Hestia" Lily said through giggles "we graduate in two months" Hestia stopped laughing abruptly.

"Dear Merlin you're right!" she said in awe. "What the hell are we gonna do with out lives?" The room went dead silent.

"I have no idea" Peter said miserably. Lily looked at him thoughtfully.

"You know Peter, I can definitely see you as one of those spies for the ministry, I think you'd be good at it" she said, thinking of how well he could blend into a crowd.

Peter gave her a big smile and nodded.

"Hey, I think I like that!"

James squeezed Lily's hand.

"And we all know James and Sirius wants to be Aurors as they won't shut their traps about it!" Hestia said loudly. "But what does Remus want to do?"

Remus looked up from his book, surprised.

"Anything they'll let me" he said sadly. Sirius pat him on the back and James gave him a sympathetic smile.

"Remus, I think you can do anything you want" Lily said confidently. "You're very smart, and kind, and a hard worker. I don't see why not. Surely Dumbledore will give you a good recommendation!" she said.

"Bu-"

"No buts!" Lily turned back to her book, pretending everyone in the room wasn't staring at her. Who was the damn ministry to even think of stopping Remus from getting a job? What was he going to do- go all wolf in the middle of his cubicle?

Lily turned the page of her book without reading it.

"Lils what do you want to do?" James asked. Lily eyed him warily. What would his reaction be?

"Well" she started slowly.

"I want to be a healer" she watched James breathe a sigh of relief.

"But..." James' eyes snapped open. Lily took a deep breath and ploughed on.

"I also want to help fight in the war" she saw James' face contort and the wary looks his friend were giving him.

"and I think I've found a way to do both" she exhaled quickly. The worried glances of her friends certainly didn't help her already growing fear of James reaction.

He'd told her a thousand times that he didn't ever want her in danger- and here she was jumping straight into the line of fire.

When no one commented, she continued.

"I'll go through training and become a healer" James' expression didn't change.

"And then I'll fight for an organization Dumbledore told me about- the Order of the Phoenix"

James swore.

"I told him not tell you about that!" he yelled, pushing himself off the ground and causing Lily's head to band the table.

"Crap!"' she shrieked holding the back of her head. James' head whirled around so fast it's a miracle it didn't fall straight off.

"Lily are you okay?" he screamed. Lily waved him off, an angry look on her face.

"I'm fine, what do you mean you told him not to tell me?"

James' expression quickly turned sheepish.

'I-I-I asked him not to tell you so you couldn't join. So you wouldn't get hurt" he said quickly. His eyes told her he wanted to run, but he held his ground.

"And you won't! I will not let you get hurt again!"

Lily could feel her temper building. Did she look like that much of a girl- did she act like one? Did he think she was so weak she couldn't handle herself in a war? Hah. If that's what he thought he had another thing coming.

She knew that women aurors were getting second hand jobs- maybe that was where James was getting the idea that she needed his protection at all times.

Damn ministry.

Lily looked him straight in the eye and said:

"Well it's a good thing he didn't listen, because I'm joining, and no one is going to stop me" with a final glare around the room, Lily strode up the stairs to her room and shut the door.

The entire room heard it lock.

* * *

><p>James stared in the direction Lily had gone. He cringed when he heard her door lock.<p>

Slowly, he turned to face his friends. All of them were looking at him, he judged their expressions carefully.

Remus looked sympathetic but was clearly thinking _well what did you think was going to happen?_

Sirius looked encouraging and shocked - at least one of them agreed with him.

Peter looked dazed- probably food again.

Hestia look pissed.

He figured Remus would be the safest to talk to at the moment.

"What did I do?" he asked him sheepishly. Remus opened his mouth to answer, but another voice quickly did it for him.

"Well what do you think you did?" Hestia's angry voice shouted.

James whirled around to face her. He shrugged his shoulders- all he wanted to do was protect her.

Hestia threw her hands up and sighed.

"Let me explain something to you about Lily" she said finally, after rolling her eyes a good three times.

"She may possibly the most independent, fiercest, most talented, bad ass witch in the wizarding world"

James nodded feverishly. Of course she was! He already knew that.

"I know- so why is she mad?" he asked.

Hestia face-palmed.

"If you know then why the hell did you basically tell her she can't protect or handle herself?"

James' eyes widened and he gasped. That's not what he meant to say! Of course she could handle herself! She was Lily for Merlin's sake. She could probably take down all four Marauders with one blow!

"No I didn't!" he yelped, looking at Lily's stairs again.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Yes you did man"

James shook his head vigorously

"But I didn't mean too! I only meant I didn't want her to _have _to be a bad-ass! Not that she isn't one!"

James nervously raked a hand through his hair.

"Well you did!" Hestia sighed.

There was dead silence in the room until Sirius looked at James and yelled:

"Well go get her you git!"


	32. NotFightBadAssSorry

**A: N/ what's up? So this week was less busy than usual! Therefore, I am hinting at a possible early chapter coming up- no promises. And yes I'm keeping these chapters short because honestly…there's not much happening right now and I like where I'm ending them. **

**On a different note, I have decided to end this fanfic after the Marauders graduate from Hogwarts. I'm terribly sorry if that disappoints any of you ****but I think that's where it should end. I'll most likely pick up a new story when it's over- requests? It may be Lily and James; it may not be…we'll see. **

**Oh and jwtwifan- Hestia's character is based on my best friend…she would like to thank you for enjoying her qualities!**

**So thank you for reading and reviewing especially:**

**HedwigandHarry**

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**Disclaimer- Unfortunatley, no magic wand is going to make me the author of the Harry Potter series. Back to wishing on shooting stars I guess. **

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><p>Lily slammed the door to her bedroom as loudly as possible and threw herself onto her bed. Her duvet was quickly soaked with tears and her wand lay limply in her hand, which she'd thrown over the side of the bed.<p>

He wasn't going to let her go? Like he had a choice in the matter! Last time she checked she made her own decisions!

But she had to admit, despite the fact that she wanted to slap James across the face for insinuating that she needed to be protected, it was actually kind of sweet of him to care so much about her.

And if she really thought about it she could see why he was so worried. He'd already watched her get hurt once- and she knew he still blamed himself for it.

So could she really be mad at him?

Yes.

Despite his adorable fear for her safety he had still insulted her pride- and Lily Evans was not one to just take insults.

Merlin's back pimple she could take care of herself! Had she not proven that with the array of hexes she had blessed James' own body with? The entire school knew she wasn't one to piss off- Severus Snape with excruciating detail.

In short, she could handle, she knew she could. She already had.

Why didn't James?

She picked at a stray string on her comforter and sighed heavily. Her eyes found the picture of her and James on her night-stand. Why couldn't James just accept her willingness to fight? The world needed her- she could help!

Lily paused as she heard loud, rushed footsteps trample the stairs. It sounded like a herd of elephants.

James.

Lily quickly wiped away her tears and turned to face the door, completely ready for her boyfriend's noble outbursts about her inability to fight.

James Potter burst through the door not three seconds later panting and gasping. He looked shocked to see her dry-eyed and sitting upright; his hands grasped the sides of her door a little bit harder.

"Not…fight…bad-ass...sorry'"

It was Lily's turn to look at him in shock. Did he just apologize? In a completely non-direct way?

"Listen…Lily" James started again, still panting. Merlin had he run a marathon before coming to see her? James moved to her bed and sat next to her, trying desperately to catch her eye.

Lily kept right on staring at the door.

"Lily-Flower" he started again, but stopped at the glare he earned for the nickname.

Lily went back to staring at the door, this time she heard a low shuffle.

"Look love, you know how much you mean to me, how much I love you, so I won't lie to you" Lily found it increasingly harder to keep her eyes on the door.

"Obviously I don't want you to fight" James cringed as Lily's eyes hardened and her hands clenched.

Was he serious? Had he actually come up here just to piss her off even more?

"But I also won't deny, that you Lily Marie Evans are a bad-ass" Lily's eyes widened in shock. Involuntarily, she removed her gaze from its position and stared into James' eyes.

Thank Merlin he'd come to his senses.

"And you can most certainly take care of yourself- probably me too if you wanted too"

Lily was quite sure she could…and that she wanted too.

"So if you want to fight, fight, I can't stop you. Just don 't expect me to like it, condone it, or enjoy it" he finished with a sigh.

A large smile broke across Lily's face and she launched herself into James' arms.

"I love you James. And yes I am a bad-ass. Don't you forget it"

* * *

><p>James looked at Lily in shock. Was he actually getting off this easily? He figured he'd have to get her three weeks worth of flowers, chocolates, and maybe even one of those ghastly singing dwarf things to get back on normal terms with her- much less full on affection.<p>

This was the famous Lily Evans after all. Notorious for her temper- and her grudges.

But he most certainly was not complaining.

Oh Merlin no.

James had wasted no time in racing to Lily's dormitory when prodded by Sirius. In fact, he'd gone so fast, he was positive he sounded like quite the prat breathing heavily and wheezing out words in the wrong order.

What if she'd gotten the wrong idea? What if she'd blown him off right then and there? Where would he be without Lily Evans in his life?

James tried to shake these thoughts as he pulled Lily tighter against him. They sat there on Lily's snow white bed, cuddling for what felt like forever- and James felt he could stay like that even longer if Lily hadn't broken the silence.

"James, we should go back downstairs" James groaned.

"Why?" he mumbled burying his face in her hair. Lily laughed.

"Because your friends have been eavesdropping on us for the past quarter of an hour- and I think they're getting bored" she whispered into his ear.

James' head snapped up quickly.

Lily giggled and slapped a hand over his mouth pointing towards the door.

James caught on immediately. He nodded and together they slowly made for the door, careful not to hit any of the wooden floor boards the wrong way in case they creaked.

When they reached the door, James silently reached for the door knob and turned it quietly.

"One" he whispered.

"Two"

By now, both were smiling profusely.

"Three"

James wrenched open the door and laughed hysterically as Sirius, Remus, Hestia, and Peter each fell into the room. It was blatantly obvious what they'd been doing. Hestia had fallen on top of Sirius, and was the first to scramble up. She and Remus were both red in the face and looked apologetic.

Peter was trying to push himself off the ground and failing.

Sirius laughed, arrogant as always.

"So Prongs, I see the lady Evans has graced you with her forgiveness" he said cheekily, brushing himself off and fixing his hair.

James opened his mouth to retort but Lily cut him off.

"Way to state the obvious Black. Honestly guys, if you're going to eavesdrop on us then at least do it well- you're insulting our intelligence"

James laughed loudly at the shocked expressions of his friends. Lily grabbed his hand and started tugging him towards the door.

"Oh and Sirius, I suggest you pick a better hairstyle if you want it to stay in place when you smash you're face to a door. That one is clearly not working"

James watched Lily in awe as she stepped over the sprawled body of Peter and proceeded down the stairs without a backward glance.

Best girlfriend ever.


	33. Doing His Best To Look Cool

**A:N/ Hi folks! You see this. This is an early chapter. Aren't you oh so proud of me? Okay, so I've decided that the end of this story is coming up- you knew that. Just thought I'd let you know that the last chapter will be the Marauder's graduation. Then I'll do another story- again any ideas? Probably another Lily/James- I'm addicted. Thank you to all those who read especially-**

**Ranma's girl1**

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**WHO REVIEWED….FOLLOW THEIR EXAMPLE AND BE AMAZING!**

**Disclamier- You would be irrevocably incorrect in believing that I am the creator of the masterpiece that belongs to the ever wonderful J.K Rowling. **

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><p>Lily ticked off another day on her calendar and sighed. Two months left.<p>

Eight weeks.

Forty-two days.

It just wasn't enough. She looked around at her dorm. She was going to miss it so much- the stain under the bathroom rug, the slightly crooked nightstand.

She rolled over and her eyes met a framed picture of her and James. She was sitting in his lap, and they were talking. Just talking.

It was her favorite picture.

Lily sighed again.

She had no doubts that she loved James with all of heart, but would he always feel the same? Would they grow apart without Hogwarts acting as their glue?

Yes. Lily decided firmly- they most certainly would.

Lily ripped off her covers and sat up. No use worrying about what she couldn't change.

Stretching the knots out of her back, Lily used her wand to put her robes on the counter in the bathroom.

A shower was most definitely in order.

She ran a hand through her hair and headed for the shower. She opened the door and stopped short.

"_I'd guess, you'd say what can make me feel this way…my girl! My girl my girl! Talking 'bout my girllll!"_

Lily nearly fainted. Was that James? Singing?

She was far too amused with the fact that James _sang _in the shower, to realize that he was within a foot of her and naked and wet.

This opportunity was just too good to pass up!

"You're off tune you know" she said cheekily.

James screamed and Lily heard his shampoo bottle fall.

"Lily?" he shrieked. She rolled her eyes.

"No, it's Sirius" she said before shutting the door loudly. Lily giggled and grabbed her copy of _Pride and Prejudice_.

She made her way to the common room and threw herself onto her favorite arm chair.

She was so engrossed, that she didn't notice James sit down in the chair opposite her. He stared at her, rubbing his hair nervously.

"Lily"

He said, breaking her intense concentration. As she looked up, she couldn't help but notice James' wet hair and the way his t-shirt clung to his tight abs.

"Yes" she said putting her book away. She resisted the urge to laugh at his expression.

"We don't have to tell anyone about this" he said seriously.

Lily couldn't help it- she started giggling, and soon she was all out laughing.

"Of course not" she said through hysterics.

James' expression lightened slightly.

"Okay, good"

"Though it might just slip out one day, wouldn't be my fault really" Lily said, finally controlling her laughter. James' eyes widened.

"No it won't!" he said threateningly.

Lily giggled again.

"Lily you can't!" he whined, looking desperate.

"I can't James?" she teased, putting her book on her desk and stretching.

She noticed James watched her every move.

"No you can't "he said, when he finally snapped out of his trance. Lily chuckled and made for the shower.

"I guess you'd say, what can make me feel this way?" she sang. James glared at her.

"Relax James, I won't tell anybody….if you don't make me mad" she said before walking up the stairs making sure to sway her hips a little bit more than usual until she was out of his view.

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><p>James groaned as he watched Lily retreat up the stairs. Now two people knew he sang in the shower- Lily and his Padfoot.<p>

He'd already made Padfoot promise on the honor of the marauders though, so he didn't have to worry about him.

Lily on the other hand, was a Filibuster's Firework- she could go anywhere or do anything.

It didn't help that he was completely wrapped around her finger.

He couldn't even deny it to save his pride- he was completely and totally hooked on her. When she was reading, he couldn't help but stare at her eyes as they scrunched in deep concentration. When she stretched- well he just stared at everything when she stretched.

He was hopeless.

And now she knew his most embarrassing secret.

All this in one morning and he hadn't even asked her about the Goodbye Hogwarts Ball he wanted to have!

James sighed and put his head in his hands. He unconsciously grabbed Lily's book and started flipping through it.

It was clearly well used- how many times had she read it? James flipped a few more pages. Was that…writing in the margins? Had Lily Evans actually defiled a book?

Shocking.

Of course, James was slowly finding out that there were a lot of things shocking about Lily Evans.

The shower turned off, and James' head snapped up. Refusing to be caught in yet another embarrassing situation he hastily threw the book back to Lily's desk, ruffled his hair, and stretched out over the arm chair, doing his best to look cool.

Five minutes later, Lily came down the stairs in dark jeans and a flowing cream v-neck. Her hair was dry and plaited neatly. Her makeup was done and she had brown sandals on.

James couldn't take his eyes off her.

He watched as Lily's gaze darted to her discarded book, which James now realized had fallen to the floor. He winced.

Lily smirked but didn't say anything as she leaned down to retrieve it.

James nearly groaned- Lily had to stop bending down in such tight jeans!

"So Lily" he said shakily, still thinking of the bathroom incident.

James stomach swooped as Lily laughed.

"Calm down James, I won't tell anyone. I actually find it…cute" she giggled again and gracefully fell into her armchair.

James let out a breathe he had no idea he was holding.

"Good, there's something else I want to talk about too" he said warily, watch Lily's focus go from her book to his face.

"Okay, go for it" she said lightly. James took a deep breath.

"" he said quickly. Lily shook her head.

"What?" she asked.

James took another deep breath. It was no secret that Lily Evans wasn't a big fan of balls- as far as he knew she'd only been to two or three.

"I want to have a Goodbye Hogwarts Ball" he said nervously. To his surprise, Lily instantly smiled.

"That's a great idea James, I'll go ask Dumbledore, he' sure to say yes then you can put up the notices- I assume you want to do something prankish with them" she said, standing up.

James watched her in awe.

"Yeah, I think it'll be good for everyone to say goodbye- seventh years only of course…and their dates"

Lily nodded.

"Of course" James stared at her as she left the common room, walking with purpose.

What she didn't know- he was lying through his teeth.

He didn't really care about the seventh years saying goodbye to Hogwarts. He just wanted to make sure he got to go to at least one dance with Lily Evans.


	34. You'll Always Be My True Love

**A:N/ Hello there my lovelies! How were your weeks? So my sister went of to Indonesia this week and now I'm just barely coping with the quiet! How are you guys? Well here's the chapter- on time and yes...a little short but I really wanted it to end where it did- I'll do the actual ball next chapter (one that may be early hint hint) and then maybe a filler and the GRADUATION! Exciting, I know! So this chapter is really just a "best friends" chapter- you know Hestia and Lily so I hope you enjoy it! Well thanks to the reviewers of the mid-week chapter!**

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**You guys are the BEST- REVIEW AGAIN PLEASE!**

**Disclaimer- I doth not-ith in anyway-ith own-ith this story-ith line-th. Thank-ith Thou. **

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><p>The night of the Ball, Lily found a note on her bed.<p>

It was in the shape of a daffodil.

Notes folded like daffodils had become a private joke between Lily and James. Sometimes they fell on her desk during classes, other times she found them in secret places around the castles. Sometimes he even put one on her pillow after she went to bad so she would wake up and be surprised.

Lily thought it was adorable- she loved it.

Plus it really pissed Amos Diggory off.

Lily growled subconsciously as her thoughts turned to Diggory.

That morning, when Lily went down to breakfast she had found the entire Gryffindor table lined with white lilies and her usual spot completely covered.

Her first reaction was total shock- it obviously had something to do with her.

Then she noticed the blonde hair boy holding a bouquet of lilies standing next to her seat.

Damn Diggory.

He'd asked her to the Ball right then and there, in front of everybody.

It was actually quite hard for her to not blow up into insane giggles. He looked ridiculous! He'd gotten down on one knee and everything.

Of course this was when James walked in. It had taken him all of two seconds to take in the lilies and the Hufflepuff practically proposing to his girlfriend.

Amos Diggory still wasn't out of the hospital wing.

Lily shook the thoughts from her head and opened her note.

_Lily-love,_

_I never did ask you! _

_Would you like to accompany me to the Goodbye Hogwarts Ball?_

_Love Always (I hope!)_

_James_

Lily laughed and hurriedly grabbed a quill and parchment and wrote back:

_Why Mr. Potter! I would most definitely enjoy accompanying you to the Goodbye Hogwarts Ball!_

_Love FOREVER,_

_Lily_

She called owl and using her wand, folded the note into a daffodil.

Lily sat back on her bed. What did she do to deserve such a wonderful guy?

Five minutes later, Hestia burst into the room with a wild look in her eye.

"We have to get ready!" she shrieked.

Lily giggled.

"Hest we have like three hours" she said looking at her clock. Hestia nodded frantically.

"I know! Sirius err sidetracked me!" she said as though three hours were only a few seconds.

Lily removed herself from her bed to put her hands on Hestia's shoulders.

"Hestia darling, breathe, we'll be ready in plenty of time" Slowly, Hestia's breathing calmed.

"You're right" she said grabbing her incredibly large make-up bag and plopping down in front of a mirror.

Lily made for the showers.

"Wait what do you mean sidetracked?" she said suspiciously, turning around to look at the girl currently rubbing in foundation. Hestia turned an alarming red.

"Nothing" she muttered, causing Lily to laugh.

An hour later, Lily was dry and had a light layer of natural make up on.

Of course she couldn't resist just a little bit of sparkle on her eyelids.

Hestia too, had a flattering amount of make up on and both girls were doing their hair in their bras an underwear.

Hestia had already gotten bored- and had started dancing around the room with her hair straightener, using it as a microphone, singing a Beatles song obnoxiously loud and off tune.

Half way through the song, Lily gave up and started singing along too.

"Here comes the sun" Lily bellowed.

"do da do do!" Hestia screamed.

The next verse was lost as the two girls ran into each other and giggling madly, fell to the floor.

"Sweet girl on girl!" a voice yelled from their window.

The girls jumped at the sound, looking around nervously for the cause.

Outside of their very open window, Sirius Black hovered on his broomstick, smirking slightly. It was then that Lily realized the were both practically naked.

Damn.

"Sirius Orion Black- What the hell!" Lily shrieked, covering herself up with her bed hangings.

"Nice to see you too Evans" Sirius said smoothly, taking a long look at Hestia.

"Just wanted to say hi before the ball" he said lightly, not removing his eyes from Hestia's body.

Hestia, following his gaze huffed and grabbed her wand.

"Avert your eyes Black" she hissed, using her wand to slam the windows closed and the curtains to slide over them.

Lily let the hangings fall from her hands and she and Hestia stared at each other for a moment before busting out in loud laughter.

"I- can't – believe" Lily managed between laughs.

"He- was- just – there!" Hestia shrieked hoarsely. Lily nodded and laughed harder.

"Well" Hestia said, sobering first. "I suppose we should continue getting ready for our last ball ever. And the only one Lily Evans has actually _been _too!" she said resuming the straightening of her dark brown hair.

Lily gasped and threw a pillow at her.

"I resent that" she said, gathering her hair in an easy style to the side.

At the sight of Hestia's face, Lily put a hand on her shoulder.

"Are you okay?" she asked hesitantly. Hestia nodded, refusing to cry, Lily had no doubt, so that she wouldn't mess up her make- up.

"I'll just miss this" she said sadly. Lily nodded and gave her a light hug from the back.

"me too. We'll just have to stick together outside of Hogwarts too" she said simply. Hestia gave a fierce nod and pointed at Lily's hair.

"That looks really pretty- but you're missing something" she said, abruptly changing the subject.

Lily nodded and pointed to a sparkly hair clip laying on he bed. It was clearly valuable. It was made of s diamonds and in the shape of a rose.

"It was my Mom's" Lily said blinking back tears. Hestia gave her a light hug and continued with her hair.

* * *

><p>"done" Hestia proclaimed loudly setting down her hairspray and brush. Her hair was now in a delicate bun in the middle of her head with small silver beads scattered in it.<p>

Lily gasped as she turned to look at her- Hestia was truly beautiful with her dark brown hair and brown eyes. She had a sort of ethereal glow about her- it was breathtaking.

"Me too" Lily breathed, still staring at her best friend.

Hestia, too, seemed dazed. Lily's red hair was pulled to side in a graceful ponytail, accessorized with her mother's rose. Her curly hair hung to the bottom of her ribcage.

She was beautiful.

"You look amazing" both girls gasped at the same time- causing them to laugh.

"dresses on?" Hestia asked quietly and Lily nodded. Turning towards their respective beds they began dressing themselves.

Lily donned a gorgeous dark green gown. It was simple with one strap over her left shoulder. It hugged the top of her form before the silk fanned out just slightly, it fit her perfectly and fell to the floor. The silk seemed to flow over her creamy skin as Hestia zipped it up for her.

Hestia was wearing a deep red dress that fell right above her knees. It was strapless and had a studded sash across her ribs.

Lily loved it- it was just so Hestia. Both girls put on silver heels and shared a look.

"We should go ahead and go down" Hestia suggested softly.

"You know you'll always be my true love, right?" Lily said with a wink. Hestia laughed and nodded.

"I better be!"


	35. We Never Really Had A Chance Did We?

**A:N/ So I've decided that I have the best readers in all of fanfiction Thank you so much in you're overwhelming support in my lack of time to post- and unfortunately you're going to need it again. This week I'm going to New Orleans for the ELCA mass gathering! Ecxiting for me, suckish for you because it means you miss out on another update. It sucks for me too- I love writing these! Well, thank you all for your amazingness. You are all my favorite people **

**Disclaimer- Does J.K Rowling take two week breaks from writing?- possibly, still not her.**

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><p>In all honesty James thought he had died and gone to heaven- there was no possible way the girl walking down the stairs towards him was anything but an angel.<p>

Eyes bugging out and mouth hanging open, James watched Lily come to a halt in front of him. The dress- the hair- the girl really was perfect. She had a happy glow about her, it lit up the room.

On his left side, he could see Sirius having a similar reaction to Hestia. He had to admit- his mate's girl was beautiful, but nothing could compare to Lily.

Lily looked to Hestia and giggled- clearly enjoying James' reaction. This seemed to jog James' mind back into coherent thought, and he held out his arm with the largest smile Lily had ever seen on his face.

"My lady" he said gallantly, kissing her cheek. Lily giggled and hooked her arm through his.

"Shall we go good sir?" she replied in the same tone. Her answer however, came from Sirius.

"Why yes Lily-Flower, and might I say you look lovely tonight, though I much prefer Hestia" he said happily gazing lovingly at his girlfriend.

Hestia gave him a look that clearly said- you better.

Lily rolled her eyes.

"Thanks Sirius"

James took the following silence as a cue to head to the dance- so he led the group towards the stairs.

To James' chagrin, every head turned when the two couples walked down the corridor.

Who the hell were they to look at his girlfriend like that?

Lily must have noticed because every so often she would squeeze his arm and then look away, like she hadn't done anything.

When they reached the Great Hall, James took great pride in Sirius and Hestia's gasps. He and Lily had spent most of that day and the day before decorating the hall for that night.

Lily had suggested a Muggle Ball theme- and Dumbledore had loved it. "A way to break the ties" he'd said.

James loved it too- after seeing Lily in that dress.

The Hall was decorated exactly as Lily and other muggle borns had wanted it to be. There was section where you could get your picture taken- like a Prom Lily had said; only the pictures would move. Lights were dangling over every table, which were covered in white and black tablecloths and the walls were twinkling due to Lily's amazing charm work. The color scheme was black and white- sophisticated and beautiful, just like Lily.

A large square shaped area of the hall was empty - everybody was waiting for their Head Girl and Boy to start the dancing.

James figured they shouldn't have to wait any longer. Plus he really wanted to dance with Lily. Grasping her hand he led her to the middle of the room and promptly arranged his hand on her waist and grabbed her hand

"Dumbledore darling please start the music" he called grandly to the Headmaster. With a twinkle in his eyes and a chuckle, Dumbledore waved his wand and the music began to play.

James gazed into Lily's vibrant green eyes, and for the next five minutes, looked at nothing else. The fell of her beneath his hands, the pure sight of her, kept him occupied so that he barely realized they were even dancing. The couple moved in perfect harmony, smoothly gliding across the floor.

When the song ended, James' smile dropped. Lily giggled at his face and kissed his cheek.

"We'll dance again later" she promised, leading him towards their friends.

* * *

><p>Lily couldn't have asked for a more perfect night. Was this what she'd been missing all those years of boycotting balls? Their group of four was joined by Remus, and surprisingly Mary Macdonald. Of course they both claimed to have come as friends…right.<p>

Frank and Alice joined too, and Peter who had managed to find a date in Heather Diggory.

At this, the group was shocked, but it was soon discovered that Heather was only there for James- which Lily responded to by touching James as often possible.

Not that he minded.

Lily was certain the picture self dubbed "Sirius" ones, cute ones, and plenty of stupid ones.

They were perfect. The night was perfect. James was perfect.

She sighed and put her hand on James' thigh. Heather had been staring again- well that and Lily _really _liked being close to James..

James looked up from his conversation with Sirius and kissed her soundly. Leaning his forehead against hers he whispered

"Want to dance again?"

Lily glanced at Hestia who raised her eyebrows. With a small smile she turned back to James and said nonchalantly.

"Sorry love, but I promised my true love a dance"

James jaw dropped instantly.

"bbu-bbu" he started, eyes like saucers. His expression told her his hold world was coming to a halt.

Lily giggled at his face and offered her hand to Hestia over the table. Taking it dramatically, the two girls headed to the dance floor and promptly began to dance erratically, whipping their hair back and forth and shaking their arms in spastic motions.

James and Sirius just stared at them in awe.

"True love?" James said finally. Sirius clapped him on the back and smirked.

"We never really had a chance did we?"

* * *

><p>Throughout the night, Lily danced with Remus, Sirius, Peter, Frank, Hestia, Alice, and by the time Dumbledore announced it was time for the last dance, she'd danced with so many people she had no idea who they were.<p>

Lily starting looking James immediately, it only seemed right to dance her very last dance at Hogwarts with the person she planned to spend every day with when she left.

Lily grinned when she found him. He was obviously looking for her too, as he'd gotten a chair and stood on top of it with a sparkling sign that read _Lily darling come towards the light please_; it made her smile. It was so James. She enjoyed just looking at his eyes light up when he saw her.

He was perfect.

She grabbed his hands and placed them in the proper positions and waited for the last song to start.

She nearly burst into tears when it did.

"_I've got sunshine, on a cloudy dayyyyy" _

The smile on James' face was so large; Lily thought she might be blinded.

She looked suspiciously at Dumbledore whose eyes were twinkling. The Headmaster winked at her and gave her a fond smile.

Lily smiled and shook her head. Oh Dumbledore. She turned her attention back to James. He was totally calm, the large smile still gracing his face. Thinking about all the time she'd have with James when Hogwarts was over Lily reached up and pressed her lips to his.

The perfect night.


	36. Nostalgia

**A:N/ Hey there friends, did you miss me? Well I'm proud to say that this chapter is complete (how awesome is that) and that the mission trip was fun! SECOND TO LAST CHAPTER- insane I know. I hope you like it…it's very fluffy and most certainly a filler so it's okay if you don't. Next chapter is graduation. The end. Gasp. REVIEW FOR ME PLEASE! I get so excited!**

**Thanks to those of you who reviewed last chapter (you know the one from forever ago? )**

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**You are certainly my favorite people ever!**

**Disclaimer- I AM NOT J.K ROWLING. 37 times I have told you this. 37 times that most of you I have no doubt have never read ;) **

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><p>James stared at the doors to the Great Hall ashamed at the tears prickling at his eyes. James Potter didn't cry. It just didn't happen. Of course there was that one time- but he didn't talk about that. And F his parents had died- but that was an exception. He wiped furiously at his eyes- he was meeting Sirius and he wasn't about to let him see this.<p>

Thirty minutes later he and Sirius had walked the entire length of the castle and met up with Remus and Peter.

"Well gents, we're leaving" James finally said breaking a long silence.

"Yeah" Remus breathed.

"Leaving" Peter said.

"SHUT IT!" Sirius screeched suddenly, jumping up.

All of the other boys jumped in surprise. They were sitting on their respective beds in their dorm room, and had until then been quietly thinking.

"We are not going there until we absolutely have to" Sirius huffed.

James leaned back on his bed and sighed. He could tell Sirius wasn't taking graduation very well. He'd never tell anyone but it was painfully obvious to his best mate. Hogwarts was his first real home and he wasn't going to take leaving it lightly.

He was in denial.

"Let's just plan a prank or something…please?" His voice was so pathetic, the Marauders had to comply.

"Okay Padfoot, but it has to be something huge" Peter said.

"But not dangerous" Remus reminded them sternly causing them to roll their eyes. All eyes turned to James as usually by now he would have said something.

James was deep in thought.

"Graduation" he said finally. Sirius' eyes grew alight with mischief and Remus fell back on the bed in exasperation.

"No." he said. Sirius gave him the lost puppy look.

"But Remmy…why not!" he whined. Remus sat straight up and glared at him.

"I don't know about you Sirius but I would prefer that my last seven years at Hogwarts not be for nothing, I would quite prefer actually _graduating_" he said harshly.

James swiveled his body to look at the large calendar hanging above Remus' bed.

That explains that he thought. Two days after graduation was the full moon- Remus must already be feeling the side effects.

"Once they give us our diplomas they can't do much, and plus if it's not dangerous Dumbledore won't do anything" James reasoned.

Sirius nodded enthusiastically.

"Pleeaasseeeeee Moooonnnyyyy!" he begged pathetically.

Finally Remus smiled a small smile and said:

"I guess so…but nothing dangerous" he warned. Sirius nodded and made a dramatic cross over his heart.

"Promise!' He said getting more excited by the second.

"But Prongs…" Peter squeaked "won't Lily be mad at you if you mess up graduation"

James' eyes widened as Remus and Sirius smacked their heads with their palms.

"You had to bring Lily into it" Remus complained.

"Now we'll never get to do it!" Sirius whined.

James wasn't listening though; he was remembering all hexes he'd endured from Lily due to stupid pranks he'd pulled.

But maybe that was the key- it just couldn't be stupid.

"No we can do it" he said dazedly. "But now that you mention it I want to go see Lily, I miss her"

Sirius grinned before frowning.

"Wait you're ditching us for a girl you saw an hour ago?"

"It's Lily" James said before walking out.

"Bonkers, he's gone bonkers!" Sirius cried. Remus grinned and shook his head.

"No it's just Lily. "

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><p>Lily stared at the maroon graduation gown hanging in her closet. From her criss-cross position the floor she could just barely see the cap with the golden tassel hanging. It was three days from graduation and Lily was becoming more certain every second that she wasn't ready yet. Sighing she turned back to the photo album she'd been perusing.<p>

Nostalgia hit her hard as she turned the page to a photo of her and Hestia from second year. They were dressed for Halloween, her as a devil, Hestia an angel. Lily giggled as she turned the next page to another photo of her and Hestia this time at her house in the summer.

She missed the days when it had been just her and her best friend, no boys, no future careers to worry about and no fearing Voldemort. Sigh.

The next photo was one of her and Hestia as well as the Marauders. Sirius was tickling Hestia, Remus was shaking his head at them, Peter was eating, and James was whispering into her ear. All of them were laughing hysterically and Lily was suddenly glad she was a witch- if only for the moving pictures.

Tears sprang to Lily's eyes and she hurriedly swiped them away. She still had a few days left- why spend them crying?

"Isn't it a little early to be getting teary?" a soft voice from the doorway made Lily's head snap up. Glaring at her boyfriend she wiped harshly at her face.

"No." she said before bursting into sobs.

James laughed loudly before moving from his leaning position on the door frame to sit down next to her, stretching his legs out and leaning against the bed. Cautiously, he wrapped an arm around the sobbing girl and pulled her into his chest.

"Shhh" he whispered "its okay Lils, its only graduation"

Lily slapped his arm and looked at him tearfully.

"_Just _graduation?" she shrieked "James this has been our home for seven years and now we're leaving...we-we-we we're never coming back!" she burst into another round of sobs.

James chuckled and kissed the top of her head.

"Lily darling, it has to happen. Don't think about the fact that we're leaving, just think about all the wonderful memories you've had here" he said smoothly rubbing his hand up and down her arm.

"B-b-b-but" She started but was cut off by a sweet kiss from James.

"No buts. Some girl told me once that if I kept saying 'but' she'd transfigure me into one" Lily chuckled.

"That was like third year, how do you possibly remember that?" She asked teasingly poking him in the side.

James used the pad of his thumb to wipe away the tears still falling down her face.

"Lils, I was practically a stalker. I remember everything you've ever said to me" he said softly.

Lily smiled a watery smile and leaned farther into him.

"Thank you" she said softly after a few moments of silence.

"For what?" he whispered kissing the top of her head.

"For not giving up on me"


	37. Graduation

**A:N/ Holy Crap. It's over. Can you believe it? Like nine months work, completed. I am so proud of myself. Thank you my beautiful readers for sticking with me through the ups and downs, I hope this last chapter doesn't disappoint.**

**Look for my next Lily/James story which will be up soon- it will more than likely be updated the same way this one was. The title is a working progress.**

**I love you guys so much- thank you for this amazing experience that I hope to have again.**

**Special thanks to-**

**Claw Raven (sorry, I'm American and I actually didn't know the British don't have proms…my bad should've looked that up. And the Mom thing…that was just my stupidity showing)**

**nedermg**

**JamesandLily394**

**Jwtwifan**

**HdwigandHarry**

**NarglesAreBehindIt**

**computer geek**

**JessandDarcy**

**And I'd like to give a special special thanks to who not only reviewed every chapter, but was also my unofficial beta reader, self motivator, and at times the person who kicked me until I wrote a new chapter I love you!**

**Disclaimer- THE LAST ONE FOR THIS STORY! I'm still not J.K Rowling- haven't been this whole story. Won't be in the next. **

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><p>James stared at a pacing Lily with a small smile on his face. Her perfectly curled red ringlets were bouncing up and down on her lower back as she burned a hole through the floor in his dormitory with her shining silver heels and her breathing was short and fast.<p>

Minus the graduation gown and heels, she could be pacing around over something he'd said or done to her.

A thousand images from the past seven years flashed before James' eyes.

Lily soaking wet and angry.

Lily with green hair and angry.

Lily with birds chasing her and angry to name just a few.

Then of course there were the ones from the forest…but James quickly went back to the other memories.

Ah the days when Lily's one purpose in his life was to crush his dreams.

He could say he lie and say he missed those days- but he really liked the kissing.

"I can't believe they didn't tell me I had to make a speech until a month before graduation!" she said for what James figured as the thousandth time.

"Lily love, a month is plenty of time and besides, didn't you know that we had to speak? The Heads do it every year" he said calmly…again.

"NO!" she said loudly throwing her arms up in exasperation. "And a month is not enough time James, I needed at least four…maybe more" she said jabbing a finger into his chest, green eyes growing larger and larger.

James rolled his eyes. This had been going on for the past fifteen minutes; his chest was starting to get sore.

Grabbing her still outstretched arm and yanking her forwards planting a sweet kiss on her leaps pinning her arms to her sides as she tried to resist.

After a few moments he felt her relax and sink into his embrace stretching his arms around his neck and leaning into him.

He broke the kiss only when they were in dire need of air. Lily's eyes opened slowly and a smile broke out across her face.

"Relaxed yet?" he asked softly pushing back a few curls from her face.

Lily nodded and sighed.

"Sorry for freaking out, I think it's just nerves and don't touch my hair again you'll ruin it" James chuckled.

"You think?"

This earned him a slap on the head for Lily.

"Hey don't ruin the hair!" He mocked pretending to put his hands protectively around his messy locks.

Lily rolled her eyes and hit him again.

"Shut it" she said menacingly, but she couldn't help the corners of her mouth lifting up.

"I don't know why you're so worried anyway" James said switching back to serious conversation.

Lily's smile fell and she began pacing again.

"You don't understand James, you're charismatic and a leader…you can…well you can talk to a large group of people without visibly shaking" she said throwing herself down on his bed.

James broke out into raucous laughter.

Was she kidding?

According to the persistent frown and soon to be tears she was sporting, probably not. She obviously did see the effect she had on people. Everybody loved her, hell; she had what he liked to call the "Nerd Herd".

"I'm not laughing at you" James gasped between laughs. Lily gave him the "yeah, okay" look.

"No really, I'm laughing at the fact that you are totally oblivious to your amazingness" he said, forcing his giggles down.

Lily looked at him blankly.

"Seriously!"

Lily raised an eyebrow.

This was not going as well as hoped.

"No not 'Siriusly' SERIOUSLY!" James shouted.

Lily rolled her eyes.

"I mean- you are amazing and everybody loves you. You could puke on the stage and they'll still clap and tell you did a great job. You just have that effect on people, they love you" James said all of this quickly, begging for Lily to understand.

Lily stood up and walked to the door.

"Where are you going?" James asked, scared that he had offended her.

Lily turned her head with a smile.

"I'm going to go rock a graduation; would you like to join me?"

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><p>James was the best at making people feel better, Lily decided. Or maybe it was just for her.<p>

Either way, he was the only reason she was sitting, alive on the graduation stage.

Well, for now.

Half an hour ago Lily had watched rows and rows of empty white plastic chairs being placed on the grounds just before the lake.

Now they were full, but to her they looked like white blurs dotted with green, blue, yellow, and maroon blobs.

She chose to believe this was because of her vantage point- but more likely she was getting nervous and becoming dizzy.

She glanced at James who had the carelessly relaxed look only he would have when standing in front of all their classmates, teachers, and parents.

For a moment- she really did hate him.

Or well- she envied him.

The first part of graduation was a blur. Each Head of House had said something nice and encouraging. Dumbledore had said some very odd… yet wise words and Sirius had already butted in with some kind of loud comment at least twice.

Her speech was rapidly approaching as was the certain hyperventilating she was going to be doing.

In true courteous fashion the lady would go first. Today, Lily was seriously considering a sex change. She glanced to James again. He was slouching in his chair, a look of total contentment on his face.

Lily had half a mind to slap him.

She wished her parents were here. She wished they hadn't died. She wished…

"And now, our Head Girl, Lily Evans"

Lily had been so lost in her thoughts she nearly tumbled out of her seat.

Slowly Lily rose and made her way to the podium. Taking the smallest steps possible, she tried to buy herself some time to calm down.

Unfortunately, her hands were still shaking when she reached it.

Now or never Lily Marie. She told herself. Suck it up and speak.

Taking a deep breath she looked back at James.

He gave her a goofy smile and a small thumbs up and like that, all of Lily's nerves were gone.

"Hi." She started. Only Sirius had the notion to scream "hello Lily darling" back.

"Well I suppose this is where I talk about how we're leaving the nest, the world is our oyster, we had a great year, and we made it" she said gripping the sides of the podium.

Damn. Half of those were muggle sentiments. Doing her best not to notice the confused looks people were giving her she continued.

"But that's all really corny and while on my paper it says 'insert corny crap here' I've decided that after being at school for seven years, I've had enough rules" she said dramatically throwing away her speech to the general laughter and clapping of her audience.

"Now, we all know from the moment we walk through those rather large doors that we have to work hard. Maybe it's Professor McGonagall's face that tells us this, or maybe it's the fact that we have a lethal weapon in our pockets that we have no idea how to use." She continued.

"Either way, we know we're going to do our very best- you know to not suck" somebody gasped at the word 'suck' but Lily ignored it.

"That's really all you can do you know. Work hard and try not to suck. Nobody's perfect." She shrugged.

"And I am very proud to say that this class did a particularly good job of not sucking" she said starting a loud clap. She began again as it quieted down.

"We've been through Charms, Defense, Herbology, Filch, Transfiguration, and Mrs. Norris, all of which seemed really challenging at the time. But now, I think we can all agree that the real challenge is going to be leaving it all" Lily stared at the castle for a moment.

"This place, especially for a Muggle-Born like me" she glared as a Slytherin snorted loudly. "This place is home. It's kind of like moving away from your childhood house. It's really sad but there are things out there that we have to do. There are houses for us to by, people for us to fall in love with, and one heck of a world just waiting for us"

The audience nodded along with her.

"As my Mum would say, we have places to be, things to do, and a world to change- and personally I think this is the class that'll change it"

On this note Lily waved lightly and made her way back to her seat. She felt like she was walking on air. The loud applause, raucous whistles and occasional shouts of "Yeah Lily" and "That's my best friend's girlfriend" seemed like background noise as she saw James huge smile and large wink.

"Thanks a lot" he murmured getting up as she sat down. "How in the name of Merlin and I going to top that?"

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><p>James did his best to keep up his careless smirk as he walked up to the podium. Truthfully, he was scared as hell. Lily had knocked it out of the park- shocker- and he wasn't sure if he would do the same.<p>

But Lily's bright face was clearly telling him that he could- which was all he really needed.

Clearing his throat he looked out at the audience as he adjusted the mic.

"Well as usual Head Girl Lily Evans has done an amazing job- shocker I know- but let's not compare her to myself…I'm pretty sure I 'd lose" he said with air of someone telling a secret. The audience laughed and James distinctly heard Sirius call

"She beat you again Prongsie boy!"

"Yes thank you Sirius, for pointing that out" he said sarcastically too much laughter. This was the Head Boy they all knew and loved.

"I have to agree with Lily, I've never been for corny things…unless we're talking about pick-up lines" he said winking to Lily who dramatically rolled her eyes. The audience erupted.

"And she already covered the whole 'we can change the world' stuff so I'll just have to go a different direction" he said in mock exasperation.

"Thank you. Thank you for what I am positive is some of the best years of my life. Thank you for being my home, thank you for just putting up with me. But mostly, thank you all for being my family" he said sincerely.

The audience watched in awe. This was more serious than they had ever seen James Potter be.

"Actually let's all give a big thank you to Hogwarts and its teachers" he said loudly. Turning towards the teachers he led a chorus of 'thank you'. Then turning toward the actual castle, he did the same thing.

"I don't think I'll ever forget my time at Hogwarts. Especially since 95% of the time I was in pain due to a certain person" he said with an obvious jerk towards Lily who stuck her tongue out to great laughter.

"But seriously, you all have made this experience amazing for me and for each other. Good Job. As Lily would say- you don't suck" the audience laughed again.

"And of course our Head Girl is right per usual- this is the class is the one that'll change the world- and not just because I'm in it" he joked exaggeratingly flipping his hair back to loud giggles.

"We are a class of do-ers and I'm proud to be called your classmate. We definitely do not suck" He bowed deeply before cockily walking back to a beaming Lily.

Grabbing hand she whispered delicately in his ear

"Good Job Prongsie boy"

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><p>Lily barely heard the names called before hers. She was much too excited about her own graduation to worry about anyone else's.<p>

"Lily Marie Evans, Head Girl"

The occasional names like "James Potter" and "Hestia Jones" caught her attention but mostly, she just stared at her Diploma- the last thing tying her to Hogwarts.

Scenes of her time in the forest flashed before her eyes, but nothing could ruin this moment for her.

As she threw her cap into the air and threw herself into James' arms, her heart seemed to burst with happiness. Happier than ever before, Lily felt her face nearly crack with the force of the smile she was wearing.

Moments later she was swept into a group hug by Sirius and the rest of her friends.

Or rather, her family.


End file.
